New Light
by imissyoulikehell
Summary: Leah/Jasper pairing.Leah imprints on Jasper after the Volturi battle. The story of their struggle to accept their love and all that comes with it.
1. Prolouge

**I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to .**

If there is one thing i have learned over the past few years, it's that life doesn't follow any persons plan. I had a plan for my life. College, marriage, family. Nothing startling or particularly noteworthy. Definitely nothing supernatural. But to me it was everything. One by one the things i wanted were slowly stripped from me and moved so far out of my reach.

Then he came. Not a knight in shinny armour, although he does shine sometimes. No, he was just as broken as i was. He had suffered much more than me. Yet it was him who pulled me up and showed me just what the world could be. He helped me through my fears and brought us both to where we are now. Brought us both home.

It didn't happen the way i thought it would. It wasn't easy, but then i'm beginning to see that the best things in life never are. I did what i had to, i fought. I fought for my life, my family but most of all i fought for him and the future we could have. My future with my imprint, my perfect match, my soul mate. My Jasper

Fighting is really the only thing i know. So it's only natural for me to keep fighting right?


	2. Square Peg

**I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to .**

Ever since the battle against the head leeches i'd been turned into a carrier pigeon by my Alpha. Don't get me wrong, i loved being in Jake's pack, boy did i ever. Imagine finally getting away from your ex after months of being inside each other's head. It was fantastic, enough to make you giddy. Well if i wasn't still bitter and twisted it would be. No matter how happy i was by my change of pack it still didn't solve the underlying problem. I was still a freak, an outsider even among my pack and family. The only girl to phase. Ever. A dead end, not worthy of being an imprint or having kids. The guys in my pack had really helped me over the past few months. What Jacob and Seth had started when it had just been the three of us protecting a knocked up Bella Swan, Embry and Quil had carried on when they joined us after the half breed was born. It didn't hurt quite so much but i still knew in my heart that i didn't fit. A square peg thumping itself against the round whole, trying desperately to just fit.

I digress however. Seen as how Jake's half human half leech imprint was only gonna be young for a few years, he couldn't stand to drag his massive self outside every once in awhile to become all furry with the rest of us. Hence my new job. As the beta, i'd been forced to visit the honeymoon home or the haunted mansion to keep him up to date on pack business. I hated it. I'd overcome my hatred of Bella's spawn and the fact that Jake just had to imprint on her, but this didn't make trips into enemy central anymore pleasant. It was that god damn smell. I will never get used to it. It still amazes me how Seth and Jacob can not only stand it but actively seek it out. Idiots.

So here i was, trudging my way out of the bushes having just pulled on my wrinkled summer dress, the female shape-shifters essential attire. Quil, Embry and Seth had decided not to join me today so i was alone as trudged slowly up to the door. Before i even had a chance to knock, it was swung open revealing the blonde female leech. My leech loving alpha was visible just behind her, playing with dolls on the floor. The kid was nowhere in sight which was good for me, hopefully he'd be able to focus so i could get outta there quick.

"Hi, i'm just here to see Jake," i said shuffling my feet. I knew i was mumbling but i couldn't help myself. The smell and my natural aversion to the Vamp's set me right on edge. It was either mumbles or all out screaming.

"Great. Is it really necessary for your mutt friends to join you here dog? Can't you go and roll around in the dirt together or something?" Rosalie and Jake clearly hadn't progressed much in their relationship if the venom in her voice was anything to go by.

"Shut it Blondie, nobody else has a problem with it." Jake said as he stood up and moved towards me. I did have some sympathy for Jacob, it can't be nice having a member of your imprints family constantly hostile to you. I was just guessing mind you, considering i hadn't imprinted. But the whole if they hurt you hurt concept seemed a sucky one if you asked me. Still i'd probably give my right leg to imprint. To find that one person made for you, that you are made for. That was another reason why coming to the Cullen house was so hard for me. Seeing all those picture perfect couples. Carlisle and Esme, Edward and Bella, Rosalie and Emmett, hell even Alice and her new boy toy Nahuel. It was enough to send you over the edge. Apparently though, the smelly blonde was alot closer to the edge than i was.

"I can't stand this! Why the hell are you here? Nessie is just a kid, she doesn't need you around. She has her family! And i sure as hell don't need or want you here. Why don't you and your doggy pals just go home?!?!" She screeched, leaning closer and closer towards Jake.

"Calm down, god. You're so dramatic. You know why i'm here and Ness does need me. She loves me and she would hurt if i wasn't around," Jake said almost calmly. Wolves can only be so calm when discussing their imprints though so i was abit worried about the direction this was heading in. I took a step forward bringing me into the house, wanting to be there if Jake needed me. Wrong move. The vamp's head spun round to me so fast i was pretty sure it was gonna pop right off.

"Get. Out. Now. If you're so desperate to see you _alpha _then he can come out to you. We don't want you in our house, but then does anyone want you anywhere? Nobody wants to be around you and i can't say i blame them," she said her voice thick with malice. She smirked shaking her hair out making her smell even worse.

I heard Jakes intake of breath as my hands started to shake. Screw this, did she think i wanted to be here? Listening to her moan every time i came to deliver a message. Feeling like i'd stuffed my head in a massive container of bleach. I'd had it, I was gonna kick her marble ass. My rage was building and i wasn't even trying to control it. Somewhere in my mind i knew Jake was standing near me, trying to talk me down, telling me that it didn't matter what the leech said. I wasn't even listening though. She had hit a nerve. One she had most definitely been aiming for. I could feel the ripples start up my spin, letting me know i was just seconds away from letting the wolf out. The familiar heat started to work its way up my back, getting ready to spread out into my arms and legs. Before this could happen though, unwanted calm overtook me. The fire lessened and three people seemed to release gusts of air at the same time.

My head shot up seeing not just Jake and the bitch standing in front of me but the Cowboy vamp standing off to the side. I turned up head, getting ready to give him a piece of my mind, to rage at him for influencing my personal emotions, but as soon as my eyes landed on him everything disappeared. He was beautiful. Handsome too but that just didn't seem enough to describe him. Of course i'd seen him before but never like this, i'd couldn't have ever truly seen him. Everything about him was perfect, miraculous. I couldn't remember anything about why i'd been angry or even why i was here. Nothing mattered to me now, nothing but him and this moment. It was those eyes that made my breath catch. They were every corny thing you'd ever heard or read about brought to life. You could actually see his soul. And god, it was perfect. As his golden eyes widened and scanned my face it seemed like they were seeing right into me, his soul looking right into mine. I could stay like this forever. I would have to, if Jake hadn't grabbed my arm.

"Lee what's going on? You okay?" As he asked he moved right into my face, blocking my view of everything but him.

_Oh god, oh god, oh god_, i repeated franticly in my head. _I couldn't have. No, no, no, no, no. The pack are gonna kill me. Imprinting on a Vampire!!! Oh god, oh godohgodohgodohgod. _

"Guys i think something's wrong with her, she is totally out of it," Jake said while shaking me not so gently. It was enough to bring me out of my internal shit storm. I peered around him to see Jasper staring at me, his eyebrows all bunched together and his face screwed up like he'd caught the stink of something off. As if he could feel my gaze on him his head shot up and again are eyes locked with each other.

It was exactly as it had been the first time, heart beating out of my chest, overwhelming love and dedication for him just shining out of me. I knew it was true then. I'd imprinted. On a vampire. He moved, taking a step towards me and i froze. I think my heart even stopped. Panic overtook my usually oh so calm self and i started to shake for the second time in less than five minutes. I could not deal with this. So i did what anyone would do. I ran.


	3. Protector

**I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to .**

As soon as i hit the porch i took a leap and my wolf self burst out mid-leap. As soon as my paws hit ground i was off. I was the fastest in the pack so i knew that unless Jake phased and used an alpha order on me i'd be able to get away.

_Where are you going? Did you and Jake fight?_ Shit, i'd been so panicked i hadn't even checked to see if anyone else was phased with me. Thankfully it was only Embry. If anyone had to bear witness to my mental breakdown then i was glad it was him. We'd gotten alot closer since he joined the rouge pack. I'd apologised for my crappy treatment of him while i was in Sam's pack and to my surprise he'd done the same. He was a really great guy, one of the best out of the guys who had phased. Unable to stop it my mind opened like a book showing Embry everything that had happened from when i first got to the Cullen house.

_Wow Lee that's amazing. You've finally imprinted, congrats. _I could hear the smile in Embry's voice. He hadn't imprinted yet either so he knew firsthand how lonely it could be surrounded by soul mates. The happiness i could feel coming from him was overwhelming. Or it would have been if anything could get in on my panic.

_I don't know what to do Em, he's a vampire! He isn't going to want to be with me. We're enemies for crying out loud!_ I cried.

_You don't know that Leah, he's your imprint. He will want to be with you, it's destiny. Your perfect for each other. Okay, it's not ideal that he is a lee- Vampire but come on! How could he not love ya Lee! You were made for him._

_Just because i imprinted on him doesn't mean he is gonna want to be with me. It might not work the same on him as it does on the others, he isn't human. Plus he had a mate up until not that long ago, Jasper probably still loves Alice._

I couldn't help the warm glow that had spread from out me from just thinking his name. Embry noticed it to and seemed like he was gonna burst into song any minute. God was i screwed. Now that i'd thought of it, the Alice issue wouldn't leave my mind. I didn't know much about their breakup, only that they had been together when they left to go find other half breeds like Nessie and had been apart when they came back. As far as i knew it could all just have been Alice. She met Nahuel and they had fallen in love, her seeing that he was her true mate. Nothing had been said about what Jasper felt. He was probably still in love with her.

_Naw i don't think so Lee. When Jake spoke about it, it seemed like it had been a long time coming and they were both cool with it, _Embry tried to reassure me. As he had been silently following along with my thoughts he'd had a few interesting ones of his own that he wanted to share. Embry thought that this was maybe the whole reason i'd become a shifter. _We all know about the Bella birthday incident when Jasper tried to eat her. So clearly he doesn't have the best control._

_Shut it Call!!! _I snarled, surprising even myself with the intensity of my protectiveness.

_Okay okay! Sorry. I do have a point though. So yeah you couldn't have been with him if you were human because of the obvious risks._ I snarled again, he was treading a dangerous line. He continued anyway. _So you become a wolf, that way the bloo-Vampire can't hurt you or eat you and you still get to be together. Maybe fate was helping you out Lee. _As Embry was talking he painted a nice mental picture, me and Jasper, together and happy. Forever stretching out in front of us. I knew that this should make me ecstatic.

It didn't though. So many thoughts were swirling around in my head it was making me dizzy. I stopped running to lie down. I needed to think, make a plan. I looked around and saw that i was actually near the reservation. My brain on auto pilot had brought me home. I saw the lush green of the trees and moss that grew all around me. Usually the forest soothed me, but not this time. I whined softly, glad that nobody was around to see me like this, so utterly confused and tired. I just wanted to give up and sleep. My body literally fell to the forest floor, i had no energy to hold myself up anymore. While i put my head down on my front paws i saw through Embry's mind that he was heading towards me. He wanted to comfort me.

I couldn't stop thinking about how much it would hurt when, not if, Jasper rejected me. Just my luck, even when i imprint my freakiness is an issue. Couldn't i have imprinted on a normal human guy? Even as i thought that it hurt. Sharp daggers digging into my heart. No, i couldn't have it any other way. I saw it now, Jasper was perfect. He was everything i could ever want or need. I just wish i could say the same about me for him. How could he want me, broken and bitter like i am? He just couldn't, i knew it. He had had a beautiful, perfect, future-telling mate for decades. What a down grade it would be from Alice to me. A young, confused, stinky shape shifter. My heart felt like it was breaking. This could ruin everything. My stupid imprint could ruin all the progress that had been made between the tribe and the Cullens. I couldn't do that to my brothers, especially Jake.

_No Leah! That isn't the answer! We will all help you no matter what, we love you, _Embry shouted as he stead up. Damn, as soon as i had had the thought Embry had seen it. I knew better than to be so open, i just couldn't control my thoughts when i was so messed up.

_It's the only way Em. I don't wanna make anything worse. I can't go back to everyone hating me again. If i leave, you guys can carry on and Jake can still be with Nessie. _I smiled, knowing that i had found a solution that wouldn't hurt anyone but me.

_Please don't go. We can't do this without you, your our sister. I know your worried but everything will be fine. _Embry screamed in my head. _Forget about us for a minute though, how will you manage? _This confused me for a minute, what was he getting at? I could manage on my own fine. Sure i'd miss them but i'd rather protect them from my mess ups.

_I wasn't meaning that you couldn't manage without the pack, i meant how will you survive without your imprint. The longest anyone has gone without seeing their imprint is a weekend and Jared was a mess. _As he said this images of my old pack brother flashed in my head. It was last year, not long after he had imprinted on Kim and she had gone to see her Grandparents in Seattle for a long weekend. Jared hadn't been able to eat or sleep by the second day. _See! And you want to do this to yourself voluntarily. Think about it Lee. Jasper is your destiny, you can't run away from that._

_Yes i can. If me staying is going to hurt everyone, especially Jasper and you guys, then i can leave, _i said my voice ringing with conviction. As i was speaking i lumbered up onto my four paws and began running towards my house. Embry was still far away from the res and i knew that if i set off now he wouldn't get here in time to catch up with me. I darted across the street still in wolf form having trashed my dress when i phased back at the mansion.

_Tell everyone i love them Embry and that i'm sorry, _I said as i bolted through my empty house towards my room.

_LEAH NO!!! Don't you d- _I cut Embry off phasing out.

I quickly searched through my drawers, throwing on a shorts and a vest top, before shoving everything else into a bag. As i pulled on my top i heard the distant howling of a wolf and knew it was Embry. He was probably trying to get the rest of the guys to phase. He sounded to sad i almost thought he was hurt. It wouldn't take the guys long to phase after hearing that, i knew i had to hurry. Rushing round my room i found all the essentials that i would need. Clothes, check. Toiletries, check. I.d., check. The little cash that i had, check. I darted downstairs, grabbing the car keys from the kitchen table then headed into my dad's study. I didn't know if i'd ever be able to come back and i couldn't stand to leave without taking something to remember my family by. It killed me that i couldn't stay and say goodbye to my mum, but i knew that if i hung around Embry would get the pack and they'd never let me go. This was what was best for them. As much as i had pretended to not care about them they had all wormed their way into my heart. In the worlds eyes i may only have had one brother but to me they were all my brothers, all so important. I'd give my life for any of them. Even those in the old pack, Paul and the rest. God i was such a sap. Sitting on my dad's old desk was a photo album, filled with the memories we had made together. I scooped it up and headed towards the door. As i shut it behind me i sniffed the air, not catching Embry's scent. Thank god. That meant i still had my chance.

Even as i was getting ready to run from him, Jasper's name repeated like a mantra in my head. I seriously must be losing it. This can't be what it's like for the guys, never being able to just think of one thing. Always having your imprint on your mind, thinking of how what you're doing with affect them. The only thing keeping me moving, stopping me from curling up into a big furry wolfie ball and crying to my mum was that this would make it all better for him. He wouldn't have to deal with an unwanted Quileute girl stalking him. He wouldn't have to upset the Doc and Esme by telling me to beat it. He would keep on being happy. Keep on being Jasper. I just wouldn't get to see it. Like my pack mates, i'd gladly give up my life if it meant Jasper would stay safe and happy. Considering this giving up my home didn't seem like such a huge sacrifice. Taking one last look at the house i'd grown up in, i turned and headed to the car. As i began driving out of La Push getting further and further away from my destiny his name kept on repeating, a silent melody keeping me going.


	4. Waking Up and Wanting to Sleep

**I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to S. Meyer .**

The day my destiny found me started out like any other day since Alice and I returned from South America. I'd developed quite a neat little routine for myself in the months we'd been back. After spending a night running around the Olympic Peninsula, studiously avoiding the sounds and emotions that swirled like a cyclone through the house at night, i'd return home to head to my study. I'd spend most of the morning reading anything I could get my hands on and at about mid-day drive into town. Not Forks. Port Angeles usually, Olympia if I was feeling particularly brave. After spending the afternoon putting myself into increasingly uncomfortable situations I'd head home, spend some time with my family then start the whole routine all over again.

It was so vastly different to the way my life had been for the past fifty or so years you couldn't really compare. It's clear now that before my life had revolved around and to a certain extend had been decided by Alice. Alice with her visions that I trusted to the point of blind faith. If she said something was going to happen a certain way, that she had _seen _I would do something then I did it. No questions asked. Now I can't help but wonder how in the hell I got myself into that situation. A situation where I no longer made any of my choices, it just doesn't seem like me to give up all my control like that. I think that's why Alice never saw us lasting forever, never saw us as true mates. Our pairing was one of convenience, although that shouldn't diminish the love we felt for each other. I know better than anyone that it was real. When I think about it I can see why we found each other and why we needed each other so much. Alice, she needed someone she could help, someone to be her cause.

Me, I think I needed to sleep. My life before and after my change had been one of war, constant, vicious war. Being what I am, I didn't just get scars on the outside. I needed to give up my control I see that now; needed to find someone I trusted enough to let them take the reigns. But I could never live like that for eternity, we both knew that. When Alice found Nahuel it didn't come as a shock, we both had known the end was coming, it had been for at least a decade. So when I saw them meet in that jungle and saw the light spark between them I had been only happy for my Alice. That lasted quite awhile too. Then we came home, solved all of the Volturi problems for now, and I realised that now I was the odd man out. I had never imagined myself in that role. Selfishly, but really that was something i most definitely, without question was, i had always thought it would be me. I'd be the one to fine my mate, to end our relationship and move onto something more. I think like an ass for it too. I couldn't shake the feeling though, being alone was something i didn't manage well. I quickly developed new sympathy for Edward, how he had managed to do this for a century alluded me. I was four months in and already resorting to running away at nights. It was hell.

The night before the day it happened had been particularly challenging. Each of the couples had been at it. That rarely happened, usually it was just Emmett and Rosalie with the occasional additions. The house had been pure red, the walls dripping with lust and passion. I'd had to leave or I was sure I was gonna pounce on some unsuspecting chair. So my mood hadn't been my best on my run. I'd come home in the morning heading straight to my study. After Olympic level sessions like last night I always found it a little challenging to look Carlisle and Esme in the eye. Hearing your surrogate parents' passion was bad enough, feeling it, live, was another thing entirely. So in my mood I'd sat down, opened my most recent addition to my Civil War library, hoping that it would calm me down enough so that I could head into Port Angeles. My trips into town weren't something I discussed with my family. I knew at least Edward and Alice must know about them but thank god, they hadn't asked me about them. I had a plan. I was sick of being seen as the weakest link in my vegetarian family. I admit I had problems with my control, fuck the Bella incident had been proof of that, but I didn't need to be babied. I hated nothing more than being treated like a child. My family seemed to forget that on top of my thirst, my longing and desire I felt all of theirs too. And my history was very bloody, the exact opposite of every other Cullen's'. I didn't want to make excuses for myself though, hence my trips into the surrounding population. I started off going to open quiet places, parks and such but now I was heading to much bigger and busier venues. I hoped that if I had as tight control over myself as the others, the added issue of their combined thirst would be easier to manage. It was hard, hard to suppress the urge to munch on a particularly nice smelling person but I was managing and with every venture it was getting easier.

I'd given up on reading after awhile, my mind focused on the strides I'd made. I sat there for awhile feeling just a bit smug until my bubble was interrupted by extreme amounts of anger. I almost broke the volume in two my fingers were suddenly gripping it so hard. I gained control of myself quickly though. I wondered which member of my family was that angry, knowing it had to be one of them. Nobody else's emotions could have penetrated me like that; burst through the barriers I have worked up build and overcome me. No just people I had a deep connection with. When I felt out searching the house for the culprit however I couldn't place who it was. Knowing it was coming from downstairs in the sitting area I quickly rose and ran down the stairs. I was met by Rosalie, Jacob and the female shape shifter all standing near the door. Rose was putting out satisfaction and anticipation, Jacob concern and annoyance. It was the girl standing by the door who caught my attention. Realising it was her sending out the powerful anger I sent out a blanket wave of calm. Her quivering instantly stopped. Why had her anger been so strong? How had it managed to feel like the emotion of one of my family when I hardly knew the girl? I was staring at her, feeling nothing but confusion. Her emotions quickly shifted to annoyance, determination and again the familiar anger only much less powerful this time. No this time it was the annoyance that overcame him, feeling like ants crawling under her skin. Her head shot up and everything went to hell.

As soon as our eyes met my whole world went insane. Everything I thought I knew before about love, about passion, about life, well it was just plain old wrong. How I could never have seen her before baffled me. She was spectacular, a goddess. I'd never seen someone as beautiful as she was, never seen someone who was as much a woman as her. She was curvy but muscular, sleek but powerful. And that was just the outside. I was positive I could see her soul, see her insides just pouring out of her slate eyes. She was looking at me in the same way. I could almost _see _the emotion flowing between us. Love and devotion were just pouring out of her, flowing over me wave after wave. It was all I could do to keep standing. But I couldn't let the connection brake. In the few moments that we stood there staring at each other, she had burrowed her way right into me and fit herself right next to my soul, nice and tight. A perfect fit. I knew as I looked at her I'd finally found it, found what everyone else already had. My mate.

Our perfect little moment, mine and Leah's, was interrupted when that big hulking alpha stepped in front of her. As soon as the contact was broken I was overcome with shock, confusion, doubt, disbelief. I couldn't work out if it was me or Leah. I couldn't tell the difference between what was me and what was her anymore. I could her Jacob speaking but nothing was registering with me. I just wanted to understand what was happening. I was concentrating hard, trying to separate me from her, needing to sort it all out. I felt it then, a pull, drawing my head up and my eyes over to her. I looked up seeing Leah staring at me and there it was again, the love. It was amazing, taking my breath away and threatening to take my legs out from under me. It didn't last long though, a few seconds. Then there was just blind panic, burning hot and uncontrollable. I struggled to move under it but I couldn't. I knew it wasn't me that was panicking but it sure as fuck felt like it. Nobody had ever done this to me before, emotions overcame me yeah but not like this. Not one persons emotions and never so I couldn't tell them from me. I closed my eyes trying to push the panic out, focusing on how I'd felt before when we had been looking at each other and slowly it faded. By the time I'd gained control she was gone. I was baffled.

Both Rosalie and Jacob were staring at me, their faces masks of confusion. Rosalie looked worried but it seemed to get less as my panting calmed down. I felt like I ran a fucking marathon. What the hell was that?!?!?

"Jasper are you okay? What happened? Did she do something to you?" Rose fired of the questions moving closer to me with each one. I held up my hand to stop her.

"I'm fine, feel like I've been hit by a freight train, but fine. As for what that was I have no idea, it was definitely something though," I finished muttering. That was a lie, I did have an idea about what had happened but it wasn't one I really wanted to share with anyone. Right now I really just wanted to see Leah, talk to her, touch her. That in itself frightened me and cleared things up a little to. I was positive now that Leah was my mate. I'd heard of people experiencing similar things when they first met their mates just not as intense. My gift accounted for some of the craziness I'll admit but I was still unbelievably baffled by Leah's reaction.

"No, no, don't be stupid. It's a first sight thing, plus she wouldn't have ran," Jacob mumbled softly, clearly not realising both Rosalie and I could hear him. "It sure did look like it though.....all that staring." Both sets of vampire eyes had slowly turned to stare at him.

"Oi, mutt what are you muttering about over there? Do you know what that was?" Nice as ever Rose I thought.

"Um..oh you heard right. Well it's just a thought, pretty sure I'm wrong anyways but I thought that Leah might have imprinted on ya," he said staring right at me. Imprinting! Of course, that was it. If Leah was my mate it would only make sense that I was her imprint, her soul mate. I could feel my mouth turn up into a grin though and I didn't even try to hide it.

"That's great! Oh jazz I'm so happy for you," I heard as Rose came barrelling towards me pulling me into a crushing hug. As she pulled back I saw she had the brighter smile on her face than I have seen in awhile. I mumbled my thanks, confused by her reaction. I hadn't expected her to be particularly happy about another one of the La Push wolves imprinting themselves into our family. This day just kept getting more and more odd. I looked away from her shaking my head and caught Jacob's eye. He seemed bemused. That was one thing I liked about the wolf, I never really had to read him, everything he felt was right there on his face.

"She's my mate Jacob," I stated looking right at him. His expression didn't fade so I merely raised an eyebrow, hoping he would explain.

"Well I...well that's great Jasper. It's just...well...to imprint....it's a 'at first sight' kinda thing. Like it was for me and Ness. I don't get why it's taken so long for you two, you've seen each other before," he stuttered out.

Just as I opened my mouth to answer a howl came from a few miles north. It wasn't like any of the howls I'd heard from the werewolves before, it was maybe the worst sound I'd ever heard. Jacob's body sprung into action immediately, concern overcoming any other emotion he was having before. He sprinted to the door leaping off the porch, his body twisting and changing in flight. It was a second before he was out of sight. I moved to follow him, worried that Leah had been hurt somehow but Rosalie stepped in front of me.

"Let him handle it Jasper, he is the alpha. If something has happened and they need us, he'll come back so send one of his pack." She sounded to calm and collected while I was anything but.

"What if it's her? What if Leah's hurt? I have to go!"I screamed stepping around her. As soon as I got out onto the porch I was met by Edward and Bella who had clearly run to the main house from the cottage.

"Stay here Jasper. I can assure you there is no threat," Edward said in his calm voice. I tested his emotions and saw he was not lying although the sympathy he felt left me feeling confused. As I slowly walked back into the house I drifted off into thought. All my thoughts were of Leah, why she had ran, where she was, whether she would come back with Jacob. I saw Edward watching me and again felt sprouts of sympathy. He was trying to hide it but it seemed so strong her couldn't manage.

_What's wrong Edward? Is someone hurt?_ He merely shook his head in response to my metal queries. I didn't even occur to me that the sympathy would be directed at me. We sat in silence, me lost in my own thoughts. When I glanced up I saw that Rose sat with a million-watt smile on her face while Bella and Edward looked sombre. I would have been demanding answers if I wasn't so fucking worried and confused. The weight of my own emotions had me pretty much useless. All I could do was sit and hope that Jacob would bring her back to me so I could explain, tell her how I felt, show her if she'd let me. Other members of the family came in, Esme and Alice back from and shopping trip and Carlisle home from work. I didn't acknowledge any of them, letting Edward and Rosalie deal with their questions while I stared at the front door.

I felt them first. Four people with nearly identical emotions, all that differed was the mix. Confusion, guilt, regret and massive, gut wrenching sadness. Then I smelt them, that wet dog stench that I'd been getting more and more used to. As they got closer I stood and walked to the front door, opening it and moving to stand on the porch. They shifted, changing back into Embry, Quil, Jacob and Seth at the edge of the forest before walking to stand in front of me. I knew it without them needed to say a word. They did anyway.

"She's gone."


	5. Shaking Hands and Opportunities

**I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to S. Meyer .**

_My hands moved up and down his back, touching every inch of him that I could manage. I moved my hands round, deepening the kiss, feeling the hard plains of his chest against my hands. As my passion increased through our battling tongues so did my impatience. I wanted to feel him, feel his skin under his way to thick shirt. I was frantic for the feel of his skin against mine. I felt like I was burning, a huge open flame that could only be put out by him, by his hands. Even as I moved round ready to take action and get some goddamn relief he pushed me back, laying me down against the soft fluffy pillows. His mouth never left mine. I think I would have died if it did. Just like the rest of him, his lips were hard. They still managed to be silky though which confused and delighted me. I didn't mind bending to him, my lips moulding to his, my mouth opening again daring him to explore me more. _

_I could feel his hands all over me running over every part of me, feeling everything. Soothing my burning hot skin. Where he touched my body couldn't help but react, arching up to him begging for more. He knew exactly where to touch, where to stroke, where to kiss and where to bite. It was perfect. I pulled my lips from his dying for some air, and his name tumbled out, the only one I ever wanted to say._

"_Jasper."_

When I woke up I remembered it all, it was just another one of the weird new habits I'd developed. Up until I'd imprinted I had never remembered my dreams a fact that had bugged me no end. Now every single word and action were stamped into my head when I woke up and refused to leave me alone. No two dreams had been the same yet and it had been nearly 3 months so I didn't think they would be. That impressed me, clearly I had a good imagination. If only I wasn't using it to torture myself. My dreams were never of anyone else, only Jasper. Dreams of us talking or laughing or walking or sitting with our families. Dreams of him stroking my hair or reading to me. There was even one where we climbed a tree together. I couldn't forget the more x-rated dreams though; they were the best and at the same time the worst. It was when I had these that I got the best night's sleep but the day after, boy was it hell. Pure torture, I couldn't believe that I kept doing this to myself. All day the dream would play like a movie on loop in my head. Since the day I'd imprinted aka the day I'd ran from everything, I had been slowly getting more and more like the wolf I could turn into. I did everything on instinct, never really thinking about anything. Other than Jasper. I tried not to think his name though that was like plunging my whole body into a bath of boiling water, needles hitting every inch of my skin.

I had to get up, I knew it, but moving my body had become harder and harder as the days passed. I felt like I was constantly fighting against my body forcing it to move in a direction totally opposition to where it wanted to go. It had started off easy, just feeling that pull in the back of my mind like a constant nagging letting me know that I was not where I was supposed to be. Letting me know that something was missing. I'd thought it was torture at the time but now I'd kill to go back to that. Every part of me, inside and out, was now constantly crying out. I felt like I was dying. Soul mates was right. I'd always said I believed in them but there had been that cynical part of me that thought it was bullshit. Not no more. I knew they were real, my soul had met it's other half and now, after being forced to be without it for so long it was dying. But none the less, I gotta move. So I pushed my legs out of my bed and almost crawled my way to the bathroom. I didn't look in the mirror anymore. I'd stopped soon after I'd got to Calagary. I didn't recognise who I saw anymore, well that's I lie I did I just looked 20 years older than I had a few weeks before. I wonder how bad I look now. 40 years older? Boy was that a depressing thought. It was for the boys though. My boys, Jasper and the pack.

Underneath my desperation for Jasper my wolf was crying out for my pack to. I hadn't phased since Imprinting Day. I think it would have helped if I could, maybe it would ease some of the constant itching under my skin. When it had first started I'd thought it was just due to denying the imprint but now I think it's the wolf trying to burst out too. I have a feeling that if I phased I wouldn't be able to control myself though, that my lightening fast grey paws would take me to Jasper whether my brain said no or not. That was reason two behind my phasing ban. Reason one was more obvious and definite. I couldn't let the guys know where I was. They'd drag me back and screw everything up for everyone. I hadn't spoken to anyone in La Push since I left apart from Emily. Shocking I know. I needed to hear a familiar voice though so I caved about two weeks after I left. I'd just got my new apartment and job at the dinner then and it made me think of how me and Em had always planned to move in together after college. Get our first apartment together back on the res. As I stood under the no-pressure shower in my box sized bathroom I couldn't help but remember how happy she had been to hear from me. That didn't last long.

"LEAH!!! Where are you? Come home, we miss you," she'd wailed as soon as I'd whispered hi.

"I can't Emily. I just wanted to let you know I was okay. I got an apartment, it made me think of you. It just a one room thing, bedroom and kitchen all in one. Tiny bathroom, keep hitting my head when I get in the shower ceilings so low. 'Member when we'd lie on your bed and draw up floor plans? Thinking of all the furniture we'd squidge in. I got a job too, not the kinda job I thought I'd get but it's a job ya know? Gotta pay those bills," I laughed. It sounded dead even to me.

"I remember," she replied softly. There was a long pause, I thought maybe I'd scared her with my crazy rambling. I didn't mind the quiet though, the connection to home was helping....a bit. "Doe...I mean I just wanted to...does it hurt?"

"Yeah. But it's for the guys," I answered, not seeing the point in lying. I'd never been big on lies. I didn't wanna talk about this. It made it worse, made it an open flame instead of just the constant embers.

"Everything would be fine, he said Leah. The pack, Seth and Jacob said Jasp-"

"DON'T SAY HIS NAME!!", I screamed cutting her off. "Don't say it Em, please. I can't take his it. It hurts. I didn't call to talk about him, tell me about Seth. About my pack and Sam's. Are they all okay?" For the first time ever I hoped someone could hear my desperation, if she tried to say it again it probably go furry right here in the middle of the street. I knew my pride would never let me live this down, I'd hate myself for my whimpering later but then imprinting was making me hate a lot about myself.

"O...ok i'm sorry. I love you, I won't say it. Sam's pack are ok, they miss you. They patrol out past the Cullen house now, keeping everyone safe for you," she said pushing her meaning out at me. "Jacob, Embry and Quil aren't so good. They go out looking for you everyday Leah, they want you back. Embry's a mess, Quil said he thinks it's his fault for not stopping you. Can't you just tell me where you are? They could be there in less than a day."

"I can't Emily. Tell them to stop looking. They won't find me. Why didn't you tell me about Seth? How is he? Will you tell him I love him?" I was full on crying now, people staring at me as they walked past my tiny booth. I must look hilarious, a massive crying chick all huddled over. I should phase, I'd feel like superman.

"He.....he is okay. He misses you. He doesn't come back to La Push much. He stays in his wolf form, I think he wants to be there if you phase in."

"Stupid Seth, god that boy," I said through my tears. The phone beeped letting me know I had to insert more coins. I put in everything I had then we sat in silence. "Look Emily, I need you to do something for me. You listening?"

"Anything," she said sounding like she meant it.

"Good. You tell Jake, tell him he owes me. Tell him to order Seth not to look for me, to go home and go to school. And you tell them to stop looking for me! All of them. I can't come back. If they get close I'll just run. This is it for me." I wasn't crying anymore. She needed to listen to this, needed to understand. I did this to help them, not so they could mess up their lives looking for a soon-to-be imprinting ghost.

"I-I don't think they'll listen-"

"They will if you tell them. You'll do it? Promise me. This is all I want Emily, thats it," I stood firm. I could hear her getting ready to complain again so I pulled out the big guns. "YOU owe me. Do this one thing for me, that's it. It is all I want!"

"Okay, I'll tell Jake. I can't promise but I'll try Lee, try my hardest," she said sobbing.

"Thanks Em. You know I forgive you right, that I forgave you even before? I just couldn't tell you. I love you and I hope you're happy. Tell them I love them, especially Seth and make sure you tell my mum I'm fine. Tell them I'm sorry I messed up everything, I really didn't mean to." I hung up before she got a chance to respond.

By the time I'd finished reminiscing I was almost at the dinner I worked at. I'd gotten ready and walked to work as I did every single day, totally on auto-pilot. I don't know why I do these things to myself, I must truly get my kicks from pain. Now alongside the sex dream of me and my never-gonna-get-him man that was running in my mind, I also had my Emily call. To start with thinking about the call had helped to dull the pain, I'd imagined what she was gonna say when I interrupted her. Maybe he had said he loved me to, felt the same pull as me, couldn't live without me. It like everything else only ended up hurting me more, I never was to quick at catching on. My day went pretty much the same as my walk to work. Jasper, jasper, serve, jasper, jasper, clean-up, jasper, make coffee, jasper, jasper....My night would have gone pretty much the same way I'm sure. The journey home through that plan right off though. I was about a block from my like hole when I first smelt it. That sickly sweet smell that could only mean one thing. Vampire. This one had the extra bitter smell that let me know if wasn't a veggie. Now you would have thought I'd be prepared for this but I wasn't. I'd been so focused on my pain and not running home with my tail between my legs, literally, that I had yet to consider what I would do if I came across a Leech. Well it seemed this one had found me and it dawned on me what an attractive target I was. A lone wolf, no pack around. I should have just put a big neon sign right outside my window, ala Mc Donalds.

I kept heading home, thinking that standing in the middle of the street sniffing might not do anything for my cover. The going was slow though, I wanted to see where the scent went. Lucky for me, it leads right to my building, up the pee-smelling stairs to my door. I took a good whiff and was pretty positive that the blood-sucker was gone. The smell seemed at least two hours old. So I went in. Nothing was different, nothing was moved I just hated it even more now. I wanted to open all the two windows that I had to get some air but I thought this might just float my scent and make it easier for others to track. Instead I sat on the edge of bed and lay back. I guess this was me for the night, sit and wait to see if the Leech comes back to kill me. If I was going to die, which seemed quite likely, then I might as well indulge myself for awhile right? No harm? If I couldn't feel the burn later then I didn't matter. Decision made I threw myself into thoughts of Jasper. I thought of the few times I'd met him. The first time had been when the crazy red-head had wanted Bella bitch dead. He had trained us all on how to fight the newborns. All us wolves had sat in the forest and watched the Cullen family demonstrate. He'd been amazing, I'd been able to see that even then. They guy's had ripped me for it even though they all thought it too. They way he moved had been something else. All Vamps were fast and graceful but he was beyond that, he was like an animal, his body moving without him having to even direct it with thought, all on instinct. I spent awhile just thinking about how his golden wavy hair had been the only thing you could really see. They were all dressed in dark colours and all so pale that the hair was the only way to really tell them apart as the zoomed about. Floating gold flying around the field. I'd only gone to that one training session, letting Jake with his obsession and his wingmen deal with the rest. Next was the actual fight, I tried not to think of this one too much. He had ended up getting hurt, trying to protect his Alice, stop her from having to fight at all. That just hurt on so many levels. Moving on.....I spent hours going over the memories. The day I'd shouted at Preggo-Bella and he'd been standing at the bottom of the stairs, I swear I saw a smirk. The day Nessie was born and he had come out to drop off a basket filled with dresses and shorts for Seth while I watched from the woods. When he came charging in during the Nessie battle with the Royal's. He'd looked so happy, finally back with his family again.

I must have fallen asleep after that memory cause the next thing I knew I was jumping awake. It took me awhile to de-fuzz, get my senses going again and when I did I wished I hadn't. That god-damn smell. It was so strong, it had to be just on the other side of the door. I heard my own heart rate pick up and could swear I heard a chuckle from the other side of the door I was now staring at. I watched as the door popped open, the lock braking easily under the leeches force. I realised that I was still sitting on my bed and shot up, moving to the wall furthest away from the door. I heard a chuckle again and looked up to see the Vamp shut the door then turn to face me. He looked mid-twenties, black hair, red eyes, and huge muscles. Bigger than your usual vamp for sure. Again, lucky me. I could feel the wolf even more than usual, it was driving me insane. I wanted to look at my arms cause I was pretty sure the skin must be rippling from all the force it was pushing out with.

"Hello, I thought we could have a chat," the leech said. He didn't have that rhythm that older Vamps seem to have. Maybe he was a newbie, or at least not that old. "I want to know what you are. Come on tell me, I'm interested." He was smiling the whole time he said it.

"Use your nose Leech," I snarled. Well if he couldn't smell me maybe the snarling like an animal could give me away.

"Oh I have girlie. You have that wet, dung heap smell that those wolves had. But that's only underneath. You've got this nice fresh smell on top of that now, a bit like apple pie and vanilla." Okay then. So he was insane, just fantastic.

"Well maybe you should get your nose checked, but thanks for the compliment," I snarled. I was leaning forward and I knew I was being aggressive. I couldn't control myself, clearly my reason two for not phasing had been right on the money. Only with the wolf this close to popping it didn't even matter that I hadn't phased, my common sense had left the building.

"Now now," the leech said, suddenly appearing right beside me. Shit, he was fast. Faster than Edward I'd bet and he was the fastest the pack had seen. He reached up a hand to touch my cheek. "No need to be rude, let's make friends. You must be the same one right? There is only one of you."

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" I was screaming, leaning away from his hand. I couldn't take him touching me.

"Oh you know, you're the only bitch aren't cha? Surrounded by all those wolf-men. I saw all your kind in the field that day when you stood with those _Cullen Vampires_," he scoffed. "You were all anyone could talk about after. A chick as a shifter, never been heard of before. And now I find you here, smelling like a pie."

I was full on shaking now. He kept touching me while he was talking and I knew he could feel my shaking getting worse. At the end of his speech he pulled me back against him and feeling his whole body flush against mine sent me over the edge. It'd been to long since my last phase so it wasn't quick and it definitely wasn't painless. As it got going the leech threw me across the room and I landed, still half human, against the opposite wall. I'd felt my collar bone break when it hit the wall and I was pretty sure one of my legs had snapped underneath me as I landed. So I ended up finishing the phase with newly broken bones. I was screaming and panting in my head, unable to form a coherent thought til I heard them.

_LEAH!!!!!!_

_Lee!!_

_WHATS HAPPENING? WHO'S THERE? LEAH!!_

_Where are you!!! Tell us sis!! WHERE!!! _ I couldn't even work out who was who as I lay there. I looked over and the leech was still there just staring at me. I tried to talk to the guys, tried to tell them I would be fine but I couldn't get anything out through the pain. They were listening intently though and kept shouting at me to tell them where I was. My mind was out of practice and I wouldn't even have noticed my mind had given them the answers they wanted if they hadn't shouted out.

_Yes guys! That's it, Calagary. She's shown us the way right to her apartment._ Embry called.

_We're coming Lee, just hold on!_ Jake screamed at me as the four of them sped up. I wanted to work out where they were but I couldn't focus, it was all too blurry. I wanted to get up, i really did. There was someplace i had to go. I just kept thinking that over and over. Need to go, need to go. I didn't move though. _Leah. Leah LISTEN!! You have to run, it'll take us an hour to get there but your fast lee, you can outrun him. _

_I can't. My leg...he threw me and it broke. I can't run. _I cried, hoping they could understand my voice through my screaming. I didn't understand what was happening. There was something i needed, something i had to get to but i couldn't move. I felt like my body was trying to pull away and my mind was trying desperately to catch up. All this time I'd been staring back at the leech not daring to take my eyes off him, even though the vision was going a bit blurry round the edges. He was smiling, looking so pleased with himself, knowing that he'd already won.

_Please Leah, please don't talk like that. You can fight....please_. It was Seth.

Oh Seth, I'd missed him so much. I didn't want him to be sad. His crying caused me to join together again. Kicking my paws out from underneath me I went to stand up. As soon as I moved the blood-sucker was right next to me again, leaning down over me. He was breathing his stench all over my muzzle and it was making my head spin even more. I slumped back down again.

"Well aren't you beautiful. That was fantastic," he almost squealed. "Don't worry lady-wolf, I'm not gonna kill ya. Well, not yet anyway. I haven't had my fun yet. Plus, where's the fun in taking out just one shifter. I'll wait till you've got your back up." He smiled sweetly at me before walking straight to the door and leaving. I couldn't believe it.

_Sit tight Lee, we'll be there soon._ Quil assured me. _Come on guys we gotta move faster than this._

_It's okay Quil. I'm fine. _My reassurances fell on deaf ears apparently.

_No you are not fine Leah. Stay. Right. There._ Jake said. I wasn't sure if it'd been an alpha order or if I just couldn't actually move. That kinda made me laugh.

_I think she might have hit her head to guys. Her mind's all confused, we're lucky we're getting anything coherent. _Smarty pants Seth. Clearly Emily had listened and he'd gone back to school. Words like coherent weren't in his vocabulary when I left. _Ja-_

_STOP!!!!!!!! _Jake, Quil and Embry shouted all at once at Seth. Seth's regret was instant.

_What's that all about?_ I asked.

_Nothing._ They mumbled together again. Wow, they had learnt some tricks while I was gone. They could go on the road, say they were triplets. I don't know why I found that so strangely hilarious but I did. I didn't really hear anything after that, everything sounded really far away like I was at the end of a tunnel. So I just lay there thinking about Jasper. Something told me not to but i didn't listen. Just thinking about his face made me smile. I was in pretty much the worst pain ever so I just let my mind go. The memories all came flooding back again. Ahhh, it almost made it better. I was finding it harder and harder to focus, I just wanted to sleep. I could hear the guys mumbling but I still wasn't getting anything from it. At the back of my mind something kept telling me that I was forgetting something, but I just let it all go and went to sleep.


	6. Grey Lessons

**I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to S. Meyer .**

Grey. Grey. Everything was grey. I try and remember back to when my world used to have colour, not just shades. Varying degrees of grey, that's all it was now. It wasn't even that long ago, 87 days if I was being exact. Before everything had gotten so royally fucked up for me. The pre-Leah days, although everyday could really be considered a pre-Leah day seen as how I hadn't even had a chance to have her. I wouldn't change it though. Yes, I may currently be in my very own hell but I'd still had that day. That day 87 days ago when I'd found her, saw her, really saw her for the first time. I'd never give that up, it was perfect. God I sounded like Edward. So here I was another grey day passing me by and I couldn't bring myself to care. I remember the routine I'd had as well. I had been so keen on my routine it seemed laughable now. I didn't bother leaving the house anymore unless it was to see him. I say didn't bother but I'm not too sure if I'd be able to if I'm being really honest with myself. I got a little bit worse every day. The only reason I could bring myself to leave to see him was that he told me about her. My daily fix.

After the wolves told me that Leah had left I went out looking for her. I thought that they were just being incompetent. How could she have truly gone, left no trail? It made no sense. They knew she had left from La Push but they just couldn't get a grip on her scent. When they had finally let me cross to check for myself I finally gave up. Hundreds of old scent trails went around her house, all around the reservation, but there were only a few leading away. Each of them lead to an everyday places like the grocery store or Charlie's house. Useless. It was like she had up and disappeared. I had picked up on something the pack had missed though. It was the best thing I had ever smelt. Apple pie and vanilla. There was a hint of something else with it that I just couldn't put my finger on, but the three together were perfect. There was a hint of Leah mixed in but we guessed that was just due to an older trail. The gorgeous scent was faint so we thought it must have been just someone passing by. So we had nothing to go on. That didn't stop me though. I'd finally found the one thing I'd been hoping for my entire vampire life and I wasn't just going to give up. The first week I just ran, going anywhere and everywhere hoping to catch a gust of her scent. Nothing. The same with the wolves. I'd met up with one of them every few hours when I was out looking just hoping they'd found something I had missed.

After a week back home I went. I was starting to feel changes and I wasn't sure if it was safe for me to be running around anymore. There had been an ache in my chest ever since she had first left the house that day, even before I knew she had left. This was different though. Everything hurt. Me, an over a hundred and fifty year old vampire, was in agony. Once, when I was in the Southern Wars' my right arm had been torn off by a newborn. Having it ripped off turned out to be the fun part. Fussing it back together had been torture. It had been so slow, taking hours. I'm fine with quick, strong pain but half the strength and draw it out and I go crazy. It's the time that get's to me. This was like the opposite of the fussing, my body slowly tearing itself apart trying to fly off in another direction to which I was taking it. I'd thought if I just stood still maybe I could get an idea of where my body wanted to go. So I'd tried that, just standing in my study but no, still the dull pulling pain. Carlisle couldn't tell me what it was. He was as stumped as me. The wolves thought it was the pulling of the imprint cords. I just didn't understand if Leah was feeling this why didn't she come back? Edward had seen the conversation between Leah and Embry through his power and had told us all her reasons for going. It made me love her even more. She didn't care about herself, she left to keep the people she loved happy. Selfless. Stupid, but still selfless. I suppose she would need to be if she was my match. That was the first real thing I learnt about my Leah.

Her pack had kept searching for her while I became a useless lump. I did nothing but sit in my study, my family dragging me out to hunt every second day. Carlisle thought that hunting more might help the pain, I thought that was bullshit. I think it was just an excuse for them to get me to move, to feel like they were helping. I didn't want to upset them anymore and everyday it was getting harder and harder to control myself so I went along. It was fifteen days after she had left that I learnt the second thing about Leah. I had been sitting in my study, staring at the wall and trying to project the love I'd gotten from her into the room when Emmett had barged in. He said I needed to hunt so I got up and off we went. The second pack, the one that hated us, had taken to patrolling around our land now that Jacob's pack were all out looking for Leah. We were on our way to hunt when a black wolf almost as big as Jacob's russet talking in front of us. Emmett I'm guessing had heard him coming. I hadn't. Everything was a bit duller, not just colour. The wolf had stared at us then went behind a tree, emerging as Sam Uley.

"Leah rung Emily," he said deadpan. It seemed like he didn't want to tell me this. I didn't care as long as he did. Finally, some contact. I'd give up drinking blood all together if it would make him keep going.

"What did she say? Is she okay? She's got to be okay. Where is she? Is she coming back? Did she tell her I need her?" I fired off the questions at him, moving closer towards him. Emmett put a hand on my shoulder keeping me in place or reassuring me I wasn't sure.

"Calm down. I'll tell you everything Emily told me," he said raising his hands in defence. Never have I wanted Edward around so much since I met him. I wanted to be sure he left nothing out. "She called because she wanted to check on everyone, see if we were okay. Emily said she sounded panicked and a bit crazy like she hadn't slept. She said she rambled to start with but then she was crying. She....Emily asked if it hurt and she said yes. But that she couldn't come back. When Em told her the pack were looking for her she convinced Emily to try and order Jake to make them stop. They were quiet a lot of the time so she managed to hear that she was in a pay phone but didn't get anything else. She said it was a busy place, so we're guessing city."

"Is that it?" Emmett asked. I was just staring. Leah was hurting. Still she wasn't coming back.

"She said to tell everyone she loved them. They spoke about Seth," Sam seemed to choke up a bit. "She really loves her brother see. Doesn't want him missing any school. Asked Em to get Jake to make him go. Said Jake owed her. I think....she sounded bad. That's all Emily will say, she just keeps crying and saying it's bad." Sam was looking at the ground now and even I could smell the salty tears.

I turned to leave, Emmett following silently behind. So Leah was stubborn, definitely stubborn. If she felt like me but was still holding out, well I was impressed. If I knew where she was I'd be there in a second to stop this horrible pain. It hurt to know she was hurting but I was getting something out of learning these things about her. I kept thinking to myself, you'll be prepared for when she does come back. You'll know her, know things about who she is. It was a small reassurance. It took me another week to learn anything else though. Jacob had come home from looking, needed to see Reneseme before he became just as useless as I was. Him and Quil being away from their imprints had half proved the wolves theory. They knew now that after five or six days of not seeing your imprint it became near impossible to carry on like you had before. So the imprinted members of Leah's pack came home every few days to see those they were tied to. I felt a sick envy. This time when he returned, the alpha came to tell me that I was now allowed in La Push. As someone who was bound by an imprint, I was now a tribe member. My family and I loved the irony of it. The 'weakest' was now the one they trusted. I didn't really see the value in it myself. Why go there when I know she isn't? I'll wait and see her home with her; Leah will show me where everything is. I didn't see the fucking point in anything without her. Carlisle and Esme thought it was great, encouraging me to go and see La Push, cheer myself up. This honour only made me angry and for the first time since I'd come back from looking for Leah, I left the house to go for a run myself.

I wasn't far out before I smelt him. The scent was concentrated in this area so I knew he must come here a lot. I slowed down as I neared him and walked into the small clearing. His sandy head was turned towards me and we stared at each other for awhile. He felt sad and curious and a little bit of hope.

"Could you phase back?" As I finished asking he moved behind a large grouping of bushes and then came out as himself.

"Hey, I didn't expect to see you here. I thought you weren't going out?" he asked. He looked different. I'd seen a lot of him since Reneseme was born, he was around almost as much as Jacob. I thought maybe the world was a bit duller to him now too.

"I'm not really, this is the first time. I needed some air," I laughed. He sat down and motioned for me to join him. "So Seth, what are you doing out here? Come here often?"

"Yeah, I'm here every day. I just wanna be wolf you know, so that if she phases in....I'm there. I should've been there that day, maybe I could have stopped her." Anger rose as he spoke.

"You couldn't have changed her mind. Edward said she was set on her course."I turned so I was fully facing him. "If she phases in, will you get me? Right away. I could talk to her, I know I wouldn't hear anything back til you changed but I want her to know I want his. I want her." I wasn't sure what he would say. I couldn't help but think that if she phased in I would miss it, miss my chance to tell her it was real.

"If I can yeah. I'm more set on getting Jake though so he can order her to stay phased. Make it so she can't leave," he said hurriedly. "Not sure he'll go for it but if I don't try," he finished with a shrug. I knew Leah would kill him for that if it happened. I instinctively knew that bowing to orders was not her thing.

"She'll kill you for that you know," I said and he just laughed, telling me little brothers have a get out of jail free card. Especially him, he smirked. We sat there for a long time, not saying anything. It was the best I'd felt in awhile. Being with Seth, someone Leah loved so much, made me feel connected to her, a little less far from her. Fucking sap.

"Tell me about her." And so it started. Every day since, I head to the clearing and sit and talk to Leah's brother. He's told me lots of things about her, little and big things but everything feels like a connection to her. Her favourite colour is green, same as mine and she broke her wrist when she was 12 because she kept trying and trying to do the perfect handstand. It all matters to me, every little bit I can scoop up. I've not just been listening to Seth though. I remembered what Sam said Leah had wanted Jake to do. It was important to her that Seth get his education. Jacob wouldn't order him to go to school but had made him stay near home, saying he was too young. Since Jacob refused, I took it on. We spoke about history, science and a little bit of everything. It wasn't school but it was better than nothing. I hoped anyway.

That particular day we didn't have our usual meeting planned. It was a Saturday so Jacob was letting Seth go out with the pack to search for Leah. Apparently Leah's temper was only to be feared during the week, no school on weekends Jacob has reasoned. Personally, I thought that was shit. When she comes back she was gonna kill Jake for letting him go out. So there I was, just sitting with my books thinking on how everything was fucked. I'd never felt so useless in my entire existence, here I was sitting and moping while other people went out looking for what I needed. It was pathetic. I could hear my family downstairs, Esme concerned over me and the rest reassuring her. This happen daily now. They all sat, their positive feelings getting less and less every time the scene was acted out. Rose and Edward were the only two that weren't feeling some degree of anger, frustration and disappointment with me. I found it had to give a fuck about the rest. They didn't understand. I think they saw this as a replay of when Edward left Bella, and all their sympathy had been used up that time I guess. Good, sympathy and pity were two emotions I found it hard to swallow. I didn't need them and they sure as hell didn't help. It was around six at night, the conversation still going on downstairs, when I started to feel it. I thought it was just the usual pulling pain getting worse maybe because I'd done nothing but wallow in my own mind all day. Sort of a punishment. It took me awhile to realise the extra pain wasn't coming from me though, I was sensing it. Something inside me knew that it was Leah and as soon as I thought it I was sure it was. Something was wrong, she was hurt. There was no way I could just sit there! My mate, my Leah was hurt. Panic and determination was all I was and it just kept growing. I had to get a grip on my emotions or I'd lose my control, let the heavily cultivated facade fall and let the monster I was out. That was the way it was for me, maybe because of my past or maybe because I was an empath. I'd learnt over the years to become Jasper Whitlock again but just under the surface there was the vicious animal I was for so long. I was like the shifters that way, always having the animal just below the surface. Unlike them though, my monster didn't protect anyone.

Every instinct I had was screaming at me to just let go, let my animal side take over and I'd get to Leah. I'd be there, able to protect her and keep her safe. So for the first time since I found Alice I gave up the tight control I had on myself, I let go. It felt amazing. It was instant relief. The constant pain, the feeling of my body running away from itself just stopped. There was just one solid block of pain right on my dead heart. I could handle it though because now I knew where to go. I couldn't tell you how I knew, I just did. Wasting no time I jumped up and then I was flying. I ran through the house, past my gobsmacked family and straight into the forest. Something told me I should explain but like hell I was going to stop. My legs were pounding, moving without me telling them where to go, throwing me to a place where I was sure Leah was. There was no more panic, no confusion, just blinding rage. Rage that someone or something had dared to hurt my mate. They would pay, no fucking way would they get away with this. Instead of the constant grey everything was now behind a veil of burning red. Somewhere in my massive vampire brain I registered that the wolves, Leah's pack, were close and I was catching up to them fast. I'd never been slow by any means but this was something else. It was speed I'd never thought I would achieve but it still wasn't fast enough. I was sticking to deserted areas thank god, focusing on only Leah so nobody was in danger from me. Even like this I managed to feel relief at that. I'd been running for about two hours when I finally caught up to the wolves in what I thought was maybe Valhalla Provincial Park and shockingly I had enough sense to stop. I was coming up behind them and I was sure they had caught my scent. Joy, worry and exhaustion were coming from them. I raced around them, forcing them to stop as I stood in their path. Seth and Jacob phased out, not bothering to cover themselves.

"We found her. She's hurt but she is still phased. We think she's passed out," Seth said, almost jumping with the excitement. "How did you know? I was gonna call but we were out running near the border and we didn't want to stop til we got to Lee."

"Are you okay?," Jacob asked. "You're looking more crazy than usual."

"I felt it, I felt her get hurt. Are you sure she is okay? We need to get to her NOW!" As I shouted they all looked at one another then the two phased back to join the wolves standing behind me. Without saying another word we took again. It only took a few minutes until I could no longer sense Quil, Embry and Seth. Another five and Jacob had fallen too far behind as well. I kept on going, nothing was going to slow me down, Leah needed me.

After another half an hour I was on the outskirts of Calgary. There was a massive pull now, she was close. I approached from the east and followed the pull. In was in the area surrounding the University when I first smelt it. That scent that had been around Leah's mother's house in La Push, the apple pie, vanilla and mystery ingredient. That smell was her, it was Leah. It was addicting. I kept following the pull, annoyed at having to go slow now that I was surrounded by humans and it lead me to a rundown apartment block. Her smell was everywhere around here. I'd found her. I raced into the building and was pulled to the second floor. It wasn't just her scent that was here though, no one of my kind had been here. The one that had hurt my mate. These thoughts had a low growl coming out of me as I walked up to the door behind which I was sure Leah was. The lock had been broken but the door had been shut again. I threw my power out but didn't get anything coming from the other side. I closed off my other senses and focused only on smelling what there was behind the door. It was all apple pie. I pushed open the door, entering and closing the door swiftly behind me. I scanned the tiny apartment quickly and my eyes easily found her. I ran over and crouched beside her. She was lying, still as her massive grey wolf, slumped against the wall where the door was. I could tell she was definitely breathing but it was laboured. I guessed that was because of the pain. One of her legs was clearly broken and she looked to have crumpled down on top of it. I was running my hands all over her trying to see if there were any other wounds that I'd missed. Even under the circumstances I was almost purring getting to touch her. I still couldn't feel anything coming from her which I did not like at all. Again guessing I thought it was probably because she was unconscious. Finishing my unskilled examination of her I scooped up her lean form and lay her gently in the middle of her bed, being careful of her leg. I just stood staring at her for a minute, not really believing that if was really her. She was real and she was right here. I knew that I couldn't just sit here though so I pulled myself together and pulled out my phone dialling Carlisle.


	7. Wolf By The Wall

**I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to S. Meyer .**

"We're in the vehicles now. Just stay calm and try not to mover her, call me as soon as possible if she wakes up. She will be fine Jasper," Carlisle finished as he hung up.

Well fuck, I'd been hoping for slightly more than that. I was as calm as I was going to get when Leah was lying as a wolf unconscious on her bed. After I'd informed Carlisle that I'd found Leah he, along with most of my family had jumped in the cars to head up here and help her. He seemed to think she had just passed out from the pain of phasing with broken bones. I hoped to whatever god there was that he was right. I couldn't bring myself to move, I was still standing in front of her bed exactly where I had been since I placed her on the bed. Even as a wolf she was beautiful. I definitely had it bad if I was thinking that. Jesus. It just felt so good to be with her, to see and smell her. It felt like waking up after the worst nightmare ever and seeing the one you loved lying right next to you, all safe and sound. Well that's what I imagined it felt like anyway. If I hadn't felt her pain for myself I wouldn't have been able to tell her was hurt, she just looked so peaceful. Beautiful. I'd been slightly worried over how I was gonna bring myself out of my crazed vampire state but in the end I hadn't even had to think about it. Just being with Leah, even an out of it Leah, calmed me right down. Made me the man not the monster.

I'd lost all sense of time now that I was with her again. After counting time down to the seconds for months, it felt nice to fall into the oblivion of my happy Leah thoughts. Of course I was worried about her, but unlike the worry and pain of the last 87 days I could think around this, I could function. So with my ignorance of time it came as a shock when I started to smell that wet doggy smell that was associated with the La Push werewolves. The scent was still faint so I guessed they were still about a mile, a mile and a half away. But they were getting closer fast. I thought maybe I should go out and meet them they probably thought I was going crazy, I wasn't really at my best when I met them in the forest. There was no way I was leaving Leah now though, not after just finding her. So I just stood there smelling and then hearing them getting closer. When they were coming up the stairs I finally moved from my position and went to open the door to the four wolves. Fear, anticipation and hope were barrelling up the stairs towards me. As soon as they came into sight I turned around and headed back to my position at the foot of the bed. I went back to staring.

"How is she? Is Carlisle coming or are we taking her back?" Jacob was the first one to speak. They had all be standing by the door, looking even bigger in Leah's tiny bedsit apartment. Almost as if someone speaking had broken him out of his trance, Seth walked over to the bed and sat down next to wolf Leah.

"Hey sis, it's me. We're here, I told you we'd come. You don't need to worry about anything not, just sleep and we'll look after you," Seth crooned, stroking Leah's fur. She didn't move and Seth looked up at me, looking for answers.

"She's unconscious. Carlisle is coming, already on his way here. He thinks she passed out from the pain of phasing with a broken leg." I spoke really quietly and sent out a wave of calm. It felt good to actually be able to send out something other than pain, sorrow and lose again.

"It wasn't just the pain man. She was messed up," Embry said, sounding like her was close to tears. Seth had said to me he had taken Leah leaving a lot harder than anyone expected.

"What do you mean 'messed up'? How long was she phased before she passed out?" I had directed my questions to Embry but he was just staring at the old grey carpet. He felt nothing but regret.

"Well we didn't get to talk to her for long after the leech left. Her mind was mental, nothing made sense," Jacob started, drawing my attention over to him. "As soon as she phased in we all felt this....I can't even think how to explain it to you. You know through the link we can hear each other's thoughts?" I nodded. "Well it's more than that. We feel each other too. If one of us gets hurt we all feel it and if one of us is happy or angry well we feel that to. You know it isn't you that feels it but you can't get rid of it. It can be a real pain when we're fighting."

"Tell me 'bout it," Quil scoffed. I took my eyes off Jacob and saw that Quil had moved over to the small window and was sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. "This was different though. None of us have ever felt anything like what we felt for Lee. It was like we were dying, not our bodies but our wolves."

"Yeah that's it. It was her wolf. It was like her wolf was dying. As soon as she phased in.....Bam!!! I felt it everywhere, it was crazy. There was the pain in her body too but this was just more." Jacob said and the other three nodded in agreement.

I totally understood. That was like what I'd felt. Maybe I didn't have a wolf but I'd felt like my insides were dying without her. Whatever I had for a soul couldn't live without her now. Like I thought that day in the sitting room, our souls were joined together now, they were one and one couldn't live without the other. I hated that my Leah had been hurting as much as I was but it also gave me some confidence. She felt it too, no matter how much she wanted to run from it she felt this as strong as I did I was positive.

"What happened after she phased in? Tell me everything." I sounded like I was begging. I didn't really care though, I needed to know who had done this to her.

"Leah couldn't really focus, couldn't tell which of us was which or nothing. We tried to get her to tell us where she was but she just seemed so damn confused. Us asking opened up her head sorta though, and she showed us flashes of here." Jacob turned to look at Embry. "Em worked out what the city was so we started heading this way."

"We we're trying to get her to fight or run but she couldn't get up on that leg," Seth started the story up again. "She wouldn't have been able to do anything. But the vampire just left. He walked over to her, called her beautiful, said he'd come back when she had the pack to back her up and then just walked out the door." I was growling by the time he finished. I'd been so close to losing her. We were all miles away. Fuck, this dick was going to pay.

"So you saw him? I'm gonna fucking tear him apart." They all looked a little taken aback by my outburst but what did they expect? I would never let anyone away with hurting my mate.

"Yeah we saw him, he was a big 'un. Bout Emmett's size but with the red eyes." Jake said. "Anyway we can deal with that later don't you wanna hear the rest?" I just glared at him. "Okay well after the blood-sucker left Leah really just lost it. Her head was just a big bag of weird to start with. She didn't seem to be hearing us talking to her anymore and then she was just daydreaming." He went to carry on but I interrupted.

"What was she thinking of?" They all looked around at each other and I left embarrassment and reluctance coming from them.

"Well em....you really," Embry finally said.

"Me? What about me?" I was surprised.

"All the times she'd seen you. There was a few. Don't really wanna go into detail dude, she'd kill me," Embry carried on rubbing the back of his neck. "Let's just say you don't really have anything to worry about when it comes to our Leah." The others snickered and I was ecstatic. Hopefully this meant she had thought about me as much as I thought about her. Just a little bit more hope.

"Anyway it seemed to help," he carried on. "Her wolf totally calmed down, the pain was still there yeah, but it was better. Like taking painkillers. We could only get what was going on for about ten minutes after the dick left, then it all just got to fuzzy and we couldn't make any sense of it." As he'd been talking, he had moved over to join Quil in sitting by the window. I think my smell was getting to them a bit. Ha, try dealing with it times four. I didn't mind at all though, Leah's new smell drowned them all out to me. I could spend all day with that smell, I loved it.

"Where was she when you got here Jasper?"Seth asked.

"She was over by the wall," I pointed to it and all their heads turned towards it. "I'm guessing he threw her over there. Her left front leg was crumpled underneath her. I carried her to the bed, I wanted her to be as comfortable as possible. When will she phase back?"

"Not really sure man. I'd think when she comes to," Quil said.

"Yeah, you gotta think about it so she'll need to be awake for it. Do you think I should phase just so someone will be there if she wakes up?" Seth looked at the other three for an answer. The love he had for his sister was impressive. I'd known he loved her from our talks but actually feeling it when they were together was something else.

"Na kid, I'd guess she'll be out for awhile. We should just sit and wait for the Doc," Jacob answered looking at me for confirmation. I nodded and smiled at Seth. He smiled back, getting up to go and sit with her pack against the wall. I was still in my position at the end of the bed but I was itching to be closer. I didn't see the point in denying myself so I moved in closer and sat of the bed. I'd always wondered what the wolves fur felt like and being this close to Leah was making me even more curious. I felt a bit guilty over touching her but not enough to stop me. I slowly and gently kneaded my fingers into the soft grey fur on her back. I'd thought it would be rough, coarse but it wasn't. It felt like silk. I pushed downwards until my whole hand was flat against her back. It was such bliss to be able to touch her. She clearly felt the same as she moved for the first time since I'd set her on the bed. Her back arched the slightest bit, pushing herself more firmly against my hand. I took this as confirmation that my touch was welcome and my guilt disappeared. I lost myself in just running my hands over her grey back, hoping that it was soothing her on some level like it was soothing me. It was the ringing of my phone that finally brought me out of my Leah trance. I looked up and saw the Leah's wolf boys asleep against the window wall and daylight streaming in the windows. I reached into my jeans and pulled out my phone not looking to see who it was before I answered.

"Jazz? Hi, we're almost there. Carlisle wanted me to phone and let you know that we will be there in around 20 minutes." It was Rosalie.

"Ok, thanks. I guess I'll see you guys soon. You won't be able to miss the place, the wolves are here so just follow our scent to the door," I said. I was genuinely pleased they were almost here. I was desperate for Carlisle to come check out Leah.

"He wanted me to ask if she's phased back yet," she said. I could hear some mumbling in the background but they must be talking softly so I couldn't make it out. "Edward is wondering if you think we should stop and get some food for the dogs seen as they are there."

"I'd rather Carlisle just got here. Someone can go out after he has looked her over, he just needs to fucking get here."

"Yeah yeah I know, just ignore Dickward I usually do you know. We just need to get there Edward ok? " Rose sounded pissed. At least someone seemed to share my impatience. "So yeah, has Leah phased back?"

"No, she's hardly moved at all. She only moves when I touch her that's it." I was hoping this wasn't a bad sign. "The pack doesn't think that is a problem, she needs to be conscious to phase."

"That's what Carlisle thought he just wanted to check. Okay well I'll let you go and see you soon. Love you Jazz," she said as she hung up. I was glad they were almost here; it looked to be about 6am so they had made good time getting here.

"Who was that?" Jacob had woken up.

"Rosalie. They are going to be here in about 20minutes," I answered. He nodded and moved away from Embry and Seth. Quil had slumped to the floor and was snoring quietly. Jacob stood up and seemed to be looking about for something, before walking over and heading into the bathroom. I'd stood up while I was on the phone and I didn't like not being able to touch my Leah so I sat down on the bed again and started running my hands through her satin soft fur. It was longer than the other wolves but I guess that was to be expected with her longer hair. I drifted off with my thoughts of Leah and again until I heard a car pull up outside. Jacob, how had been back sitting against the wall stood up and looked out.

"It's the Doc," he said as he moved to open the door. He stood there waiting in the open doorway until Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie appeared. They all headed straight over to where me and Leah were on the bed.

"I'm going to have to ask you to move son," Carlisle said feeling regret. It didn't matter, if he was helping her then I could move. Not far mind you, but I'd move. As soon as I stood up I was pulled into a hug by my surrogate mother and twin.

"We're so glad you're okay Jasper," Esme sniffed. She always worried too much. "I'm positive Leah will be fine. Everything will be fine now that you've found her." She was pushing her love towards me and her hope. I drank it all in. It felt nice to be able to hug Esme back. Now that I could almost think clearly I felt pretty shitty about the worry she'd been put through because of me. Before I could say anything Rosalie started speaking, telling me how happy she was for me. That everything would be good for me now. I wanted to believe her and be as happy as they were but I couldn't do that until Carlisle told me Leah was okay. I pulled out of their hug but was still wrapped in both of their love, and headed over to stand by the wolves. While I'd had my mini reunion they had woken and moved to stand, still against the window wall, staring at Carlisle and their sister. It was such a tiny place that they were almost right by Leah's bed. Carlisle was kneeling on the bed, her torso over wolf Leah as he felt all over her like I'd done. He actually knew what he was doing though. He kept his doctor face on the whole time and her emotions were content. He'd worked out a long time ago to control his anxiety when at work, so I was getting nothing useful. It had been about ten minutes of this when the door opened again and Emmett and Edward walked in, the horrible smell of human food coming with them.

"Good Morning. We thought it best to stop and get the wolves some breakfast," Edward said looking over towards us. He seemed shocked when they didn't immediately rush over to take it from him.

"Thanks guys. We'll get it once the Doc has given Lee the okay," Jacob answered quickly taking his eyes off Carlisle to glance at Edward.

"No problem." Emmett turned to look at me before carrying on. "How you doing bro? You look less psycho than when you bust outta the house." He said

"Yeah thanks," I mumbled. "I'm better."

"And you'll be even better knowing the Ms Clearwater is going to be fine," Carlisle said removing himself from the bed.

"Fine? As in totally fine?" Seth was incredibly happy and excited. Added to my own it was making me giddy. As soon as Carlisle was fully off the bed I took my position again, right back next to my Leah.

"Yes Seth. She will make a perfect physical recovery." I looked up catching the 'physical' where a full should have been. "Don't worry Jasper. I think the unconsciousness is mainly to cope with the emotional strain she has been experiencing. A way for her mind to reset it's self." I wasn't sure how worried I should be about that.

"Not a lot Jasper, it's perfectly normal for the human mind. It needs time to deal with things," Edward said responding to my thoughts.

"Yeah dude, Leah's always been a bit mental," Jacob added causing Emmett and the pack to laugh. "You gotta love her though," he added.

"So wolfie's, now that you know your pal is fine, you want the grub?" Emmett said waving the food around. Embry, Quil and Jacob lunged forwards. Seth was still standing by the bed however.

"Don't worry Jazz. She'll be fine. I know my sister," he said before patting my shoulder and walking towards the food.

I stopped listening to the conversations going on around me after that and just let the relief I felt take hold. She was going to be okay, she was going to be okay. I couldn't quite take it in. I just wanted to get her home, take her back to my house and never let her leave. I couldn't wait till she woke up and we could finally talk, finally tell her that I loved her.

"Jasper," Carlisle drew my attention stepping in front of me. "It's perfectly safe to move Leah so I think it's best we leave now. We have my Mercedes and Emmett's Jeep with us so you could go back with her in the Jeep."

"Yeah dude," Emmett called. "A massive passed out wolf is hardly gonna blend it. We better head out ASAP." I nodded agreeing and looked to the wolves.

"You take care of her," Embry said feeling very protective. "We'll run and meet you back at your house. Don't let anything happen to her, we just got her back."

"I won't I promise. She'll be safe with me," I said hoping he knew I meant every word. I stood up and nodded my head to my family, letting them know I was ready to go. As gently as I could I scooped Leah up into my arms and headed towards the door. As I walked out the door I vowed to myself that I would never let this happen again. No matter what Leah says, if she didn't want to be with me, I'd still look after her. It was my job to keep her safe.


	8. Waking With Friends

**I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to S. Meyer .**

_Well this is new_ I thought to myself as I slowly came to. I felt mega drowsy, like I'd been sleeping on a rollercoaster or something. I wouldn't say it was a bad feeling, kinda nice actually. If it wasn't for the massive mess my head was in, I would have sat back and enjoyed the ride. The fact that I couldn't open my eyes and that the last thing I remembered was phasing in front of a psycho vamp kind of sucked all the fun out of it. I tried to remember what had happened after I'd phased but my mind was empty. Odd. What was even odder was that the pain was gone, the burning over my whole body just wasn't there anymore. Awesome! I have no idea why, but still it feels fantastic not to want to jump off a building just to get some relief. I was slowly coming round a bit more and I remembered talking to the guys when I'd phased, I couldn't think what they had said but I think I spoke to them. Pretty positive actually.

_Yeah you did. _Woo who was that? Okay I definitely heard someone so I guess I must still be wolf. Why can't I wake up proper though? And who is in here with me?

It me, Embry and Qui here to. You've been unconscious for awhile and the Doc said it might take you awhile to get a grip on reality when ya finally come to. I recognised the soothing voice of Embry now. I'm sad to say I really had missed the losers in my pack over the last few months.

_Ha I knew it!_ Shouted Quil. _We missed you to Leah, don't you dare go running_ _off again._

_Yeah we all agree, you're staying put. It's not the same without you here. _Embry added on.

_What do you mean staying put? Where the hell am I?_ They both seemed a little shocked by the fierceness of my tone. Clearly they'd forgotten my bitchy side. Ha.

_Well, you're at the Cullen's place._ Quil reluctantly answered me. Oh jesus, this was not good! How had I gotten back here? Those idiots. Didn't they know I had to stay away? If I saw _him, _even for a second, there was no way I could make myself leave again. No wonder I felt so god damn fantastic. Right okay focus, just wake yourself up. Come to and you can get yourself the hell outta here before you see anyone.

_Oh no you fucking don't._ Embry snarled. Boy he was testy these days. Before I could respond Embry let out one of his 'get your ass phased howls'. He's rather good at them, makes it sound life or death every time he does it. I'd bet good money I'd take the other two idiots less than five minutes to join the bloody party.

_Okay I'm ignoring you now. I gotta wake up. Open those eyes come on come on come on. I chanted._ I could hear Quil laughing in the background. _I don't have time for this invalid crap._

It took me about another three minutes before I finally managed to get my senses all sorted out. I couldn't really hear much; just steady breathing that was coming for pretty near in front of me. I guessed I was lying on a bed cause it was all soft and squidgy. My sense of smell was always the strongest out of the pack so when it finally kicked in I knew that Quil wasn't lying and I most definitely was at the haunted house. There was this one smell though, and boy was it yummy!! It was magnolia blossoms and fire and the sun. I don't know how you can smell sun but that's what it reminded me off. Pure sunshine, nothing had ever smelt so good. The source was close to so that gave me the extra push I needed to open my eyes. When I finally manned up and opened them I was so glad I had. Jasper sat just in front of me, so close that if I'd had arms I would have been able to touch him. Stupid wolfness. We we're both just sitting there, well me sprawled out on the comfiest bed ever, just staring at each other. I felt that rush again, the one I'd felt the Imprinting Day. How was it possible to love him so much when I didn't even know him? I was insane. And he was hot! Maybe going over and over the way he'd looked the other times I'd seen him had been a mistake cause I couldn't stop the lusty thoughts coming to mind.

Shesh Leah come on, we don't wanna see that. Jake screamed in my head. Ah, clearly he and Seth had phased in while I was in my sexy Jasper haze.

_Suck it up, it's clearly payback time,_ I laughed. God it felt good to be with these guys again. I'd missed them so much. Seth was being suspiciously quiet though. Just as I was about to deal with him, I saw a smile break out on Jasper's face. It was like the sun. All the guys burst out laughing at that. _Jesus, pretend I didn't just think that._

"Hello my Leah," Jasper said, still with his massive smile. Wait, _my_ Leah? "I'm guessing you aren't in there alone by the embarrassment you're throwing out. We really need to talk but I'd much rather do it when it's just you and me, so I'll leave you alone to phase back and take a shower. Esme has put clothes for you in the closet." The whole time he'd been talking I'd just stared at him with my big dopey eyes, pretty sure I looked as confused as I felt. What the hell? He wanted to talk to me? Shit was this the big rejection speech? I can't take that. I should just leave right now, get out before it hurts.

"Don't panic, please Leah," Jasper said sounding oh so sincere. And sexy. He moved forward and before I knew what was happening his hands were scratching _that spot_ right behind my ear. Oh jesus, I think I just purred. An even bigger smile was on his gorgeous face when he continued. "It's nothing bad I promise. Actually I think it's pretty fucking awesome. So just do your thing and I'll be back as soon as you're done." He gave me another scratch before turning and heading out the door. Did that really just happen?

_It sure did Leah, and don't you do anything stupid before you talk to him. He was really messed up with you gone._ Jacob said, lacing pictures of a broken Jasper through. He actually looked dead, not vampire dead but full on dead-dead. His eyes were the worst. I felt the burning come back. I did that to him. _I'm sorry Lee, I didn't mean to upset you. You just need to listen to him k? Don't do nothing stupid._

_Its okay, I deserve it. Just as well this imprint isn't going to work cause clearly I suck at it. _I answered.They all started to deny it, telling me it would work but I ignored them_. Seth?...Sethy, why aren't you talking? Are you mad at me? _

_Of course I'm mad Leah! You just up and left, didn't say goodbye. Don't you care about me and mum, we can't be without you Leah! _Seth responded. This was maybe the angriest I'd ever seen my little brother. Privately, I was impressed. Wish it wasn't directed at me though, that sucked.

_You know I love you both Seth, but I had to go. I couldn't let my imprint mess up everything you've got going. You and Jake love the Cullen's, I didn't want to screw that up for you_.

_That's bull and you know it! IT ISN'T MESSING ANYTHING UP!! Jazz wants it, stop being so stubborn. You ran because you we're scared. It didn't have anything to do with us. Seth was really getting into the swing of it now. _Clearly he'd learnt a few things while I'd beengone. _Everyone knows you're scared of getting hurt but your ruining your chance Leah. That's what you're screwing up, your life and now Jasper's to. You're supposed to be older than me, try acting it. _Wow, he was really going for it. Before I could respond alpha wolf cut in.

_Okay this isn't the time, em you two maybe should wait and do this later. Chill Seth. _Jake said, sounding about as uncomfortable as the other two felt. _Leah, you need to phase, go take a shower then talk to your imprint. No matter what, you're staying. This is your home, no more running. _

_Ha, rich coming from you. _He was one to talk, at least I'd only run once.

_Yeah but I didn't get attacked by a blood-sucker and have to have the whole pack and a bunch of veggie vamp's come rescue me._ He sing-songed.

I was gonna stay and argue but I really did want to phase back. I wanted my head to myself so I could think about what was going on and most importantly think about that '_my Leah'_ that I'm pretty sure I must have imagined. I looked around and spotted the door leading to the en suite bathroom behind me. Slipping off the bed I tested my left leg and found it was perfectly healed, one less thing to worry about. It was a lot harder than usual to phase back. Usually I just have to think about my human self and poof! there I am, but I guess not phasing for so long had its consequences. I tried to shove everything else out of my head and just focus on the task at hand but, with the guys chattering like little old ladies in the background, it still took me close to ten minutes. When I'd start getting all flustered and frustrated I'd feel a wave of calm and confidence flow through me. I guess knowing an empath did have its benefits after all. Being rich clearly had its benefits too and this shower was definitely one of them. After showering in my dingy, cramped bathroom for the past few months, it was pure heavy to stand under the torrent this shower gave off. I could feel myself relaxing under the pounding spray, my muscles unclenching after who knows how long as a wolf. I'd planned to sort my head out, to get a plan set in my head while I was in there but in the end I ended up leaving the bathroom, dressed in my new designer threads, just as confused as I'd gone in. I just keep hearing _my Leah my Leah my Leah_ repeated over and over in my head, and I kept thinking that fate must be playing some sort of cruel joke on me. I wasn't sure if I should go leave the room or not, if I was being completely honest I was a bit afraid to see everyone again. The imprinting pull was kicking in again though, I guess not seeing Jasper for half an hour was making the wolf a tad antsy. Plus without Jasper here I was getting the full force of the vampire stench. That decided it, I'd stay here. I'd no sooner sat on the bed when there was a knock at the door and Jasper walked in closing it firmly behind him. He started walking towards me and then sat right next to me on the bed. Oh my, not what I expected. This was the closest I'd ever been to him and it was giving me a head rush.

"Did you enjoy your shower?" He was looking at my face, I could feel it but I'd didn't look up. I wouldn't be able to think straight if I was looking into his eyes.

"Yeah, thanks," I mumbled. "So....yeah, you wanted to talk?" Just keep looking down and you'll be fine Leah. Don't look at him.

"Yes. I wanted to tell you that I love you." My head flew up at that, my eyes locking with his straight away, looking for the lie I knew must be in them.

"That's not nice. Fuck you, don't lie to me. I don't want your pity," I responded. Good plan, anger always works.

"I'm not lying to you Leah. I love you like I know you love me," he said. I went to speak but he held up his hands and carried on. "Just let me talk, please. Look when you imprinted on me I mated with you as well. You're my mate, my destiny just like I'm yours. I know why you ran, I know you wanted to protect people but there is no fucking need. I want, no I need to be with you just like you need to be with me." He stopped there and I was totally clueless on how to respond. "Please say something, I can feel you're disbelief and confusion but I'm telling the truth. I can't be without you now and you can't be without me. It's meant to be us together, don't you get it?" He leaned in even closer, I could feel his breath of my face. I couldn't comprehend what was happening, everything was going so fast and his smell and just _him_ were making my head spin.

"Just wait.....just give me a minute," I said. He nodded but pulled my hands into his lap. I wondered if he knew this was the first time we'd touched and if it felt as amazing to him as it did to me. Usually touching a vampire isn't pleasant at all, but Jasper's cold was just soothing. Like putting Aloe Vera on sunburn. Sparks were bursting underneath the surface though and I couldn't help but think of how his hands would feel other places. And his mouth. That train of thought had to be derailed right there, he was a bloody empath for god sake he's gotta have felt that little burst of lust. I looked up from are looked hands and he just looked the same as he had before so maybe for once my luck had held and he hadn't, a girl can hope right? Right back on topic, Jasper say's he loves me. I think he is telling the truth, something inside me is screaming that he is. But I can't believe it, if I do then I'm just opening myself up to a new world of hurt. Seth was right, I am afraid. Afraid that I'll let Jasper in, accept that he is my life now and then fate will pop up telling me it was all a joke. Good things, things like Jasper just don't happen to me. Ever since turning the wolf gene came back to La Push it's been one hurt after another for me, Sam, becoming the only lady-wolf ever, my dad dying, the list goes on. It just hurts and I'm not really sure I could survive having my imprint taken away from me too. I'd don't feel like myself anymore, since when did I get so afraid? Next I'll be jumping at my shadow. The old Leah, the pre-Sam Leah was brave. She'd have just jumped right in. Maybe I wasn't ready to do that, but maybe I could channel some of her.

"Right okay. Well I'm not really sure if I believe you, I want to but a part of me doesn't. So how about we be friends. Maybe spend some time together and see what happens?" Jasper looked disappointed for a second and then seemed to pull himself together.

"Okay I can live with that. For now." He was boring wholes into me while he spoke. "I do love you and you'll see it, I know you will. But friends will do for now."

"Good, so we're friends." My heart was pounding in my chest and the wolf was pushing over my skin. Clearly not everyone was happy with the situation but hey, nothing wrong with being cautious. You can kiss your friends every now and then right?

"I'm not gonna let this go for long though Leah," Jasper said, running his fingers up the inside of my arm to the crease of my elbow. "I know you feel it, I can feel it pouring from you. We will be together, your mine now. Just like I'm yours." Coming from anyone else it would have made my skin crawl, made me want to kick his ass, but coming from Jasper that was enough to make my knees weak. Just as well I was sitting down then huh?

"We'll see," I said and he chuckled. Stupid empath. " Anyway, I was wondering why I'm here? Why I'm not in La Push?"

"I found you and brought you here. I felt you get hurt," I gasped at that. "Yeah, not the nicest experience I must admit. But it led me to you so I have no complaints. I passed your pack on my way there and then my family joined us at your _apartment_. Carlisle looked you over then we brought you back here. I didn't want to be away from you so here you are." He snickered and then added, "Didn't want to give you a chance to run off again before we spoke." I ignored his last comment, mainly because it was probably true. If I'd have got the chance, I'd have bolted. I didn't miss the way he'd sneered apartment though.

"Hey what was wrong with my apartment? Okay, it had a new leech stench that was gonna be hard to get out but that was hardly its fault."

I knew as soon as I had mentioned the Stalker Leech that it had been a mistake. Jasper's eyes went from that soothing golden colour they had been throughout our talk, to pitch black. It happened in an instant and I just stared in amazement. He seemed to have stopped breathing too and I was suddenly feeling rage and majorly possessive which I'm sure I wasn't feeling myself. I took my hands away from where they were joined with Jaspers on my lap. Slowly I lifted my left hand, turning my torso to fully face him, and placed my palm against his cheek. This all happened so fast and just felt so natural that I wasn't bothering to question myself.

"Calm down Jay," I started, hoping my voice sounded at least a bit calming. "I'm here, I'm safe. He can't hurt me." Jasper leaned into my hand, closing his eyes as I rubbed my thumb up and down. God, I hope this is working I'm not really known for my calmness. "I'm sorry I brought it up Jasper, I don't want you to be upset or angry." It hurts knowing you're not happy I added silently.

"No it's fine, don't be sorry. I just can't imagine anything happening to you Leah," he replied opening his eyes. The emotions he'd been projecting started to pull back from my body. "You know you're going to have to tell us the full story right? And that I'm going to kill him and keep you safe." His voice rang with his conviction. I merely nodded, not looking forward to that at all. We stayed like that for a few minutes, my hand on his cheek and his hand holding onto my wrist. Never had anything felt so right to me before. Comforting him, touching him, just being with him felt as natural as breathing. His eyes had gone back to their satisfied gold but it must a much darker shade, dark browns inching out from the centre and he was breathing again. I'd imagined while I'd been away that some part of me would revolt at my imprints vampire traits, that the changing eyes and the ice cold skin would put me, the human me, off. It didn't at all, I was finding that it was all just part of him, part of Jasper, and I wanted to find out every part so I could love them all.

"Thank you for helping me Leah," he smiled breaking our silence.

"It's no problem, I wanted to," I mumbled. Maybe I was coming to terms with my crazy love for him in my head but I was nowhere near ready to shout it out to him. "When you said 'tell us', who exactly were you referring to?"

"My family and your pack are all waiting downstairs for us," he said taking his hand from my wrist causing me to drop my hand back into my lap. As much as it sucked loosing the contact I was kind of getting cramp from holding my hand up so long. "They're all getting a bit impatience, especially the wolves, but if you aren't ready they can fucking wait." Well that was nice, but best get it over with.

"Let's go then, I'd rather get this over with now," I stood up while I was speaking. "Not really a fan of being the centre of attention." As I was walking towards the door and out into the hallway I could feel Jasper right behind me. It was reassuring. I was slightly worried about how everyone was going to take the fact that we had yet another problem.


	9. Sexy Smells Of Home

**I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to S. Meyer .**

My talk with Leah had not gone exactly to plan. While I had been sitting waiting for her to wake up a perfect scenario had formed in my head. She'd wake up, I'd tell her I loved her, she would jump into my arms telling me she loved me to and then we'd ride off into the sunset. Not quite what happened. I was disappointed that she didn't believe that I loved her, gutted really but I suppose it was understandable. I'd been tempted, really fucking tempted, to use my power and let her know just how serious I was. I didn't though. I've learn that Leah is really god damn stubborn and she is going to have to realise that we are each other's destiny on her own. If I shove it down her throat she will reject it on principle, she needs to work for it. I was glad that she said we could be friends though, that gave me some hope. I'd get to be around her and that way she would see sooner how things really are. I can't wait.

When she brought up the vampire that attacked her I lost it. I hadn't wanted her to see me like that but her reaction amazed me. There was no fear coming from her, only concern and regret. The concern was great but I couldn't let her have the regret, it wasn't her fault. When she'd touched me though, her soft, hot hand against my cheek, I'd lost all my rage. It was like she was sucking it right out of me. With her touching me, I couldn't feel anything but the reactions she brought out in me. The calm, the joy, the lust and the love. The lust was maybe a tad out of place but what can I say, I am a man and she is my mate. That's the main glitch in the friend plan, I have no idea how I'm going to keep my hands off of her. When we are together I get lost, sucked up in my Leah haze. Her emotions are so powerful to me just like everything else about her, and it blocks everything else out. We're alone in the world and it's fantastic. I hope she realises soon cause I can't wait to kiss those full lips of hers. When I'm not stuck on her eyes, I'm stuck on those pink lips. My happy Jasper-Leah land was about to be roughly torn down by our families though. I'd known we couldn't stay in that room forever but it hadn't stopped me from hoping. I was really eager to hear what this dickhead had said and done to my Leah though so I guess I couldn't complain. As I followed Leah down the stairs, trying really hard not to focus on the sway of her ass in those jeans, I heard everyone in the kitchen. It seemed Esme had put on a bit of a feast for the wolves. As we entered the kitchen, me slightly behind Leah everyone turned to stare at us. All my family was here, along with the four guys in Leah's pack. Just as well we had such a big table.

"Here Leah, come sit down," Esme said pulling back a chair at our massive dining table. "Seth told me macaroni and cheese was your favourite. I hope you like it," she smiled.

"Wow, thanks Mrs Cullen," Leah said. She was feeling uncomfortable and there was a lot of shock in there. I put my hand on her back and pushed her forward following behind her and taking the seat next to her. All the food smelt disgusting, like it was rotting, but Leah's scent pretty much drowned it all out.

"Lucky you." Edward responded to my thoughts, moving to sit near the end of the table. "You're the only one it's working for." Carlisle was sitting at the head of the table, reading what appeared to be a medical journal. He had looked up when we came in but had gone back to his work until the werewolves were finished eating. Edward talking seemed to have drawn his attention however.

_You don't smell the difference? She smells fantastic_. I said in thought, trying to not sound too enraptured.

"It's different yes, but not to the extent you seem to think. She thinks the same," he said with a smirk.

"I'm guessing I'm she?" Leah said. She was annoyed.

"Yeah sorry. We were just talking about how your scent is different to me now," I said with an apologetic smile. "Your smell is totally changed for me."

"What do I smell like?" Curious and embarrassed. Nothing to be embarrassed about.

"Apple pie and vanilla and something else that I just can't get. Your old scent is still there but it's underneath the new stuff. It's amazing," I finished inhaling deeply. "What do I smell like to you?" Leah suddenly went red and Edward burst out laughing. It wasn't often you saw Edward laugh like that.

"Mind-raping leech," Leah muttered under her breath. I wonder what she had thought. That set Emmett off and I saw Quil lean in and inform him that she had lot's more names for each of us.

"Haha, I can't wait. Having you around is gonna be a ball she-wolf," he bellowed.

"Don't worry Leah," Edward choked out through his belly-laughs. "I shall keep it to myself."

"Won't you tell me my Leah?" I rested my hand on her knee while I asked and her head swung up to me. Attraction was there but it was her lust that was drowning me. It was everywhere, like a thick fog surrounding us both and blocking everyone else out. I could feel my Jasper-Leah land coming back full force.

"Oi, knock it off bro," Emmett said, punching my in the shoulder. "You're projecting something mental. I was about to jump Quil man." Quil shifted his chair a little further away at that. I bet he was regretting sitting there now. While I'd been lost everyone had moved to take their seats. Carlisle at the head with Edward, Seth, Embry, Nahuel and Alice on his left, Rosalie at the bottom then Emmett, Quil, myself, Leah and finally Esme. Bella and Jacob were leaning against the kitchen isle behind us, with Nessie perched on the counter.

"Sorry, didn't even notice." I hope I didn't sound as smug as I felt. This friend shit was gonna end quick. My eyes were still locked on Leah as I slowly removed my hand from her knee. Someone needed to talk or we'd start all over again.

"I must admit, I'm interested." Thank you, Carlisle. "I've never heard of someone's scent changing as you two say it has. Will you tell us Leah what Jasper's scent is to you? I myself have noticed a subtle change." My family mumbled their agreement, Reneseme jumping down from her stop on the counter to get a better sniff.

"Magnolia blossoms," Leah uttered as quietly as possible.

"Is that it?" Edward asked and Leah shot him a glare. He merely smiled.

"No, I guess there is some other stuff. Umm...fire and sun," she finished quickly. Seth burst into fits of laughter and her other pack members seemed to be trying to hold their chuckles in. What was funny about that? It didn't sound that appealing to me when compared to her apple pie but if she liked it I wasn't going to complain. I shot Seth a questioning look but he just shook his head and kept on laughing.

"Well that is interesting. Do those scents have any particular significance to you Ms Clearwater and is the usual vampire scent still present?" Carlisle was in full doctor mood now, trying to solve the puzzle. When he asked about the significance, the laughter coming from the pack got louder and the embarrassment coming from Leah was enough to make me want to run and hide.

Seth saved her from speaking herself. "Lee loves the smell of fire. And that flower stuff. It's her favourite smell."

"Yeah, she thinks that smoky smell that happens round the bonfires we have is _sexy_," Jacob added smirking.

"What about you Jasper? What does the scent mean to you?" Carlisle was even smiling.

"It's the same. It means home and safety and comfort." I leaned into Leah so my mouth was right by her ear before continuing, "and it's sexy as hell." I was rewarded with a shiver and lust again taking over the embarrassment. She cleared her throat and leaned away from me slightly. I didn't mind, I could feel she didn't want to.

"Yeah well as fascinating as this all is, I thought you guys wanted to know about the bloo- I mean vampire," she said looking around the table. I instantly tensed up. I knew I had to hear it but that wasn't going to make it any easier.

"Yes we do," Alice said leaning around Nahuel. "I obviously couldn't see anything, so we only know what Jake told us. Which isn't much."

"Okay well I'll tell you all that I know," Leah said pushing her untouched plate away from her. "I was coming back from work and smelt his scent around my block. When I got to my apartment I could smell he'd been there but he was gone. I just sat down and thought about stuff then I must have fallen asleep. I woke up cause of the smell and then he came in. He asked me about my scent, why I didn't smell the same as I had that day the Volturi came. Said everyone knew all about me, knew that I was the only female shape-shifter and that it was unheard of."

"So he was Volturi then?" Carlisle looked pensive.

"Don't know, he could have been one of those witnesses," Leah answered. "He was young I'd say, not as old as you Doc, or even Edward."

"What makes you say that, how could you know?" Rosalie asked leaning forward.

"The pattern of his speech, the way he moved. Just by looking at him. He didn't have that old way about him," Leah said turning to face my sister. "No way was he a newborn- too much control. But, yeah still young." My family were impressed, I don't think they had expected her to be so observant. Me and the wolves knew better.

"How did you get hurt?" Esme asked softly. "We know you were hurt before you phased from the boys." She seemed to sense Leah's reluctance to answer her question and placed a hand on her shoulder. "In your own time dear, no rush."

"Thanks. Well it'd been awhile since I'd phased and I obviously didn't want to so I put it off. But my wolf was going a bit mental. I'd been denying the imprint so the wolf kept trying to phase out and I had a feeling that if I did I wouldn't be able to stop myself from coming home." Leah glanced at me from the corner of her eye. "Anyway, the leech was touching me, had me pressed against him and I was shaking. I couldn't stop myself so he threw me across the room and I phased."

I didn't even notice I'd started growling, a deep steady rumble coming from my chest. My hands were gripping tight onto the table's edge, digging grooves into the wood. He had touched her! Had his filthy hands on her. I couldn't see through my angry, it was white hot and dangerous. I could hear my family telling me to calm down, reassuring me that Leah was here and safe but it didn't matter. It had still happened. Again, it was Leah that pulled me back, brought the man out again. She had moved off her chair and was standing right next to me running her hand up and down my arm. It took longer than it had in the bedroom but her touch worked its magic, sucking everything negative right out of me. I didn't speak my thanks but showed her instead, projecting gratitude and as little love as I could at her. I'd tried to get all the love out of it but it surrounded all of my emotions involving her.

"You're welcome," she responded as she sat down again. Edward cleared his throat causing everyone to look at him.

"From the image I've seen from Leah and her pack it isn't a Volturi member we know of but I don't think we can rule out that it is them," he finished.

"I agree," Alice said. She was angry, really angry. "We knew the Volturi would come back and it seems they are going to use the wolves to keep me blind."

"Wait," Jacob said, moving towards the table. "Aren't we being a little paranoid here? How would the blood-suckers even know Leah was there? It could just be a big coincidence."

"There isn't any such thing," Seth and Leah said at the same time. The both looked up and shared a small smile. It was the first time they had really looked at each other since we had come downstairs.

"Yes that is my feeling," Carlisle began. "I also see your point Jacob but it does not hurt to be prepared. If it is the Volturi then they will most likely send someone to scout around and see if Ms Clearwater has returned to her pack."

"As your attacker said," Edward took over directing his answers to Leah, "he will be back when you aren't alone. I think you should all be careful, nor patrol alone."

"Got it, no more solo outings." Jacob said moving back to stand beside his imprint. The anxiety in the room was incredibly high, everyone's fear and uncertainty melding together. I shot out a wave of calm hoping it would encourage them all to muster up some of their own.

"Ness won't be the target this time though will she?" Bella was feeling blind panic, it was driving me mental.

"No love," Edward said, standing and walking over to his wife. "No more than the rest of us. It will be us all, everyone in this room, if they return." _Well that was reassuring Edward!_ I screamed in my head. He shot me an apologetic look and hugged Bella.

I turned my attention back to Leah and saw her staring at me. She was emitting regret and determination along with her love. I smiled at her and she returned it. When she smiled her whole face changed. I think this was the first time I had ever actually seen her smile, a real honest to goodness smile. I couldn't think why she didn't do it more, she was breathtaking. Before our bubble could cover us, Esme patted Leah's shoulder gaining her attention. Esme, ever the mother, was concerned that Leah hadn't eaten any of her meal. As soon as she had finished, Leah tucked right in. Instead of staring like I wanted but which I thought might embarrass her, I looked around the room at my family. They were all involved in small conversations, the panic having left the room. Carlisle however was sitting still at the head of the table deep in thought. Worry, concern and hope. I was pretty sure that meant he thought the Volturi were coming and I agreed with him. Ever since they had come to punish us for Nessie, I'd been certain they would come back. From a purely military stand point we were a threat. The biggest coven, besides themselves they had encountered and that was before you added the La Push packs. With the bonds of Jacob's imprint and now with Leah being my mate, we were one entity. We would fight together, I was sure of it.

"Are you okay bro?"Emmett had moved into the seat Quil had vacated. "You look a little out of it."

"Yeah I'm fine Emmett, just thinking." I turned to face him but made sure I could still see Leah out my peripheral vision.

"You think they are coming." It wasn't a question but a statement and I merely nodded. "Yeah, me too. Didn't think it'd be this soon but I knew they would come back. Smart move using the shifter's to blind Alice. That's gonna drive her wild," he chuckled. He was right to, it would. Alice had never been without her visions before and she had struggled since the wolves had come into our lives, she felt a lot of resentment for it. We drifted into silence and I went back to thinking about what this could mean for family. I didn't even notice my arm had snaked round the back of Leah's chair until she pushed it out.

"Well thanks for patching me up Doc and thanks for the food Esme." She moved to stand. "I better get going though, I need to go back to La Push." Oh no. No, no, no. No way was she leaving, she was safe here.

"Leah did you just miss that whole conversation? You can't leave, you need to stay here where it's safe," I said standing up myself. I almost fell right back down again with the force of her anger.

"You don't tell me what to do Jasper, and yes I listened but I have to go home." Why was she so angry? I am just concerned for her. Before I could speak again Jacob walked over laughing.

"That's you told," he laughed at me. "You're gonna have to learn man, nobody tells Lee what to do. Not even me. I'll go with her though so no worries."

"I don't need anyone to come with me!"

"Maybe not but I need to head to see Sam anyway," Jacob seemed to just ignore her wrath. "If this really is as big as you think, he'll need to up patrols." Leah turned and stomped away. Clearly someone was not happy. "God, I missed that."

"Shouldn't you go? She can't go on her own." I only noticed I was screaming at the end. Everyone had smirks on their faces. Assholes.

"Na, it's cool. She won't leave without me, she's stubborn not suicidal." Jacob then turned to his pack telling them all to hurry it up. All the better, the more people with Leah the less panic I'd feel over not having her with me.

"Dude, you've got five minutes if you wanna go talk to her," Embry said, giving me an encouraging smile. Yeah, five minutes. I can't have her leaving angry at me, I don't want her running off again. I found her leaning against the outside wall of the house, her anger having dissipated and been replaced by impatience and irritation. We stood in silence for a few minutes before I remembered I was on the clock here. Time to take action.

"I'm sorry about back there. I'd didn't mean to imply you couldn't look out for yourself, it's just I worry about you. If you hurt I hurt." I'd moved to stand in front of her and was staring at those plump lips again. "I take care of the people I love." She gave a little scoffing sound but I could feel her appeasement and pleasure at my little speech. I moved in closer, putting my hands on her arms and pulling her forward so she was standing. She was the perfect height for me, I just had to duck my head and my lips met hers. They were even softer than I'd imagined. She didn't respond to begin with, it was just my lips moving slowly against hers, surrounded in her surprise. It only took a few seconds for her love and desire to pop right out. As soon as it had, she pushed right back into me using much more force that I had. Her arms moved up and I let go off my hold on them, much preferring the feel of her hips under my cold hands. Hers had snaked up around my neck and her fingers had wound themselves through the hair at the nape of my neck. When her fingers had touched my skin I'd started to feel the purr building in my chest. When it broke out and I purred into Leah's hot lips, she moaned and her mouth opened. I wasted no time in plunging my tongue into her moist mouth, battling against her and finally winning. I wouldn't have thought it was possible but her taste was even better than her smell. Nobody could ever taste like Leah, could ever feel the way she did as I basically devoured her. She wasn't complaining though. Leah was pulling me against her soft body so hard it seemed like she was trying to pull me into her, and her desire was enough to rival my own. This kiss was the most sexual experience of my very long life and it just made me want to experience everything else with Leah even more. I could have kissed her all night, sadly though our bubble was burst again.

"Oi, break it up you two," Quil shouted.

"Yeah man, get off my sister," Seth added. He was smiling though. We split apart, Leah's arms dropping like I'd burned her and I saw with satisfaction that Leah's lips were bruising. She was panting, so was I even though I didn't need to breath. "Come on sis, let's go home."

"Wish you'd brought your car man," Embry said to a smirking Jacob. "Totally don't want that on replay in my head."

"Shut up idiots," Leah said, stalking down the porch steps and towards the forest. "You coming or not. Not gonna be very good babysitters if you can't keep up now are ya?"

"Wait up Lee," Quil called as him, Seth and Jacob took off after her. That left just be and Embry. I walked towards the door intending to go inside and start my night of worry. Would it be wrong to go and sit outside her house? I'd almost decided to do it, reasoning that she would never know but then Embry spoke.

"Don't worry Jasper, we'll keep her safe for you." I could tell he really meant it so I nodded and made my way inside to the other half of my family.


	10. Realisations That Hurt and Help

**I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to S. Meyer .**

My mother is scary. I'd always suspected Sue had a hidden side and when I finally got home after my trek through the woods with Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest and Doesn't-even-warrant-classification, this hidden side was finally revealed to me. And let me tell you, it was not pleasant. Shouting was the main order of the day, followed by angry tears and finally, my personal favourite, the Disappointed Face. This is a face that I know children all around the world fear. Vampires I can do, Sue Clearwater aka Mom's Disappointed Face has me hiding under my bed. Or at least under my duvet. I'd expected the shouting, had been totally prepared for it, but disappointment wasn't even an emotion I had considered. Makes sense though. Seems my darling brother had been sharing his "Leah is a big coward" theory with our parental unit. All night her words had been ringing in my ears.

"Life isn't a battle Leah, you make it that way with your constant combative attitude. You run from everything, including your chance at a happy ending." For a minute I'd thought she was going to say fairy-tale ending but wisely, she left that out.

"Your actions don't just hurt you. That poor boy! He had to give up his life while you were off chasing your tail!" Boy? Does she realise Jasper could be her however many great-grandfather?

"Commitment. Responsibility. Family. All things you choose to ignore. Do you care about what happens to those who love you? Hmm? Do you?" Well actually yes I do mother, seen as how I did it for my family.

These thoughts I kept to myself, seeing as how I had no intention of getting a Clearwater ass-kicking. Sue is a formidable woman. Plus I may be willing to admit they aren't top notch responses. Not up to my usual standards, a bit weak really. By admitting that, even only to myself, a chain reaction of disturbing thought opened right on up. So I spent the night following the path laid out through my crazy mind and in the cold, clear light of the morning I had reached several conclusions. First, Mom and her sidekick were right. I am afraid. That however, ends now. I refuse to live a shell of a live just because some things are blocked off from me. If I'm a round peg and the whole is square, well maybe I just need to go find another whole. Okay, maybe I'm not that clear on it all yet but at least I am trying. Second, and closely linked with the first, no more running. Yes, running is easier than standing and facing the realities of my life but it has to stop sometime and why not now? Already having been conveniently brought home, now seems perfect. Now this third one tough, it's something I know and I'm sure the people involved know as well, but I think it's time to admit it out loud and stop acting like it isn't true. I, Leah Clearwater, previously-cold-hearted, harpy bitch, love my pack. And not just my immediate pack but the idiots in Sam's pack to. They may sink, and as I believe I have previously alluded to, be generally stupid, but I love them. They look after me, despite the fact I do not need them to, and I know they would fight for me and with me if I asked and even if I didn't. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way going to become beautifully bouncy _Bella, _but I might try not being quite to vicious in my insults. Scathingly entertaining shall be my new description. Pfft, we'll see. It's the thought that counts though right? I'll just let the overgrown puppies see that I don't mean to be cruel and then everything can go back to normal. See, there's my smile back, being nice doesn't need to be painful.

Speaking of painful my forth and final revelation of the night has the potential to be monumentally so. Carrying on with her winning streak, Sue knocked it outta the park again with her "happy ending" comment. Jasper is my chance. Everything in me apart from my own fear and bitterness is screaming that he loves me, that we are meant to be and that even the world itself wouldn't dare tear us apart. If you believe in destiny or fate, then it's definitely that. It scares me that the force that has taken so much from me might have actually given me something. I'd have to lose my anger then, lose my defence against the world. But then, that needy girl that I deny is even there is screaming that if I have Jasper I won't need a shield, won't need anything but him. My needy girl could write romance novels. They'd have to be the really trashy ones though, so I could add in dirty dirty sex scenes to scare the quiet ones. Leah Clearwater- Corrupter of Youth. If the boy's ever want to do superhero names again that's gonna be mine. Anyway back to the topic at hand. Jasper. Me. Me and Jasper. Jasper and Me. After that steamy kiss yesterday and my realisations during the night, I don't think us as friends will work. Not that I particularly want it to. Nope, I want more of those kisses that make me Leah-goo and I am hoping Mr Cool and Shiny himself will not disagree.

All these new beliefs are fabulous in my head but that sucky fear isn't letting me get out from under my duvet to go and put them into action. I'm guessing it's getting on as Seth has knocked on the door on four separate occasions so far. Once he even lay down on the floor to see if he could see through the gap at the bottom of the door. That brought me my first smile of the day. I'm glad in his desperation the fear I instilled over opening my door without being asked is holding true. Just as I'm basking in the satisfaction brought by my impressive intimidation I hear what sounds like elephants heading up the stairs. Five elephants if I guess right. Hmm, I would have bet on at most four. Should I get up? If alpha dog is there he will just barge right in. Tragically, even my intimidation isn't strong enough to penetrate that boulder he calls a skull.

"Wake up, wake up. It's a beautiful moooooooorning!" I think that is meant to be singing, either that or they have moved on to torturing cats as well as stray leeches. "You have until three, and then we're coming in Lee." Ah nothing like Jake bellowing in the morning, or maybe early afternoon.

"One." That's Quil. Ass, he had to be the one to start.

"Two." Boo, don't join them Seth. If you don't count maybe it won't happen. I'm good at wishful thinking.

There wasn't a three, instead four exceptionally large Quileute children came barging into my teeny-tiny room. They were closely followed by an equally large person who I refused to believe was there. Nope, definitely keeping my head firmly under my duvet.

"Goooood Morning, sister dear," Jake started. "We all thought we'd come and drag you back to the world."

"Yeah and maybe towards the shower too. There is a definite pong going on in here Lee." Clearly Embry had not been working on his charm in my absence. Quil couldn't have been working on his patience either as he lunged the tiny distance between them and my bed to stole my cosy quilt. Lovely.

"Lovely to smell you to, Embry. Been running all night or did you perspire that much coming up the stairs?" See, I can still joke and not be cruel.

"That's pretty weak for you Leah," Seth said smiling. "Maybe you need a few days round us to get back up to your usual biting standards."

Huffing, I turned my face towards the door and saw that I was in fact right. Yip, there he was in the flesh. Mr Sam Uley, hunkering in the doorway to my room. Ahh, the memories. Almost against my will my mouth turned up into a real life smile. Not a smirk, an honest to goodness smile. Jake, Embry, Quil and Seth looked delighted. Sam looked scared. This has the potential to be fun.

"So now that the pleasantries are over," I said sitting up, "what you guys here for? Not that you aren't ahh…welcome. Just maybe you have a reason?" Smooth.

"We just wanted to come see you, bring you up to date on some stuff," Jake answered sitting beside me. I considered ordering him off my bed but it didn't really bother me. Odd.

"Yes. We are all glad you're home Leah. You were missed." Sam entered the conversation, looking decidedly uncomfortable and a little out of place. I'd forgotten how relaxed our pack was compared to his. General Uley, at your service.

"Well thanks guys, that's touching." My pack laughed. Sam didn't. "I think maybe I'll just get all the latest info at the next bonfire though. That okay?" This resulted in many shocked expressions from all in the room bar Seth. He just smiled, the kinda smile where you got the feeling he knew something you didn't. Traitor. He was cheering Team Sue now. Amongst the murmured 'sure's' and 'she's coming to a bonfire?' from the three musketeers I made out a strangled sound coming from Sam. Almost like a wounded animal, made me want to poke him with a stick.

"You alright there Uley? You look a bit shocked?"

"Yeah. Yeah I'm good. So….yeah. So I guess I'll see you there then. It's em….well the next one is…," Sam trailed off his stuttering as we all stared at him. Wow one poke and he broke. Disappointing. Clearly I'm not the only one out of practice. I looked over at Jacob to see him smiling. At my eye brow raise he put General Useless out of his misery and said the next bonfire was on Friday, which sadly for me was tomorrow. I might be trying this whole love-not-war gig but that didn't mean I had any desire to be surrounded by adolescent wolves and there main squeezes. To my great delight Sam didn't even respond to Jake but just turned and headed out, tail firmly between those lanky legs. Ha! Score one to the new and improved Leah.

"Why can't all my days start like that?" Quil asked the question I'm sure we had all been thinking.

"No idea," Embry answered. "But that felt like Christmas."

"That it did," Jake smirked. "Boy I love it when you see him sweat. It's like catching your teacher naked or something."

"Eww, okay that's enough outta you there," I said. "Clearly time away does not change the tendencies of pervy teenage werewolves." The thought of being inside these guys smutty little brains again on a daily basis was enough to make me shiver.

"You love us. Just admit it."

"Never Mr Call, never." That was clearly the wrong answer. As soon as I finished I found myself covered in squealing boy. The smell was overpowering, pretty sure if you could suffocate on musk I'd be a goner. "Okay, okay. Maybe I love you guys. Don't get complacent though. I could easily change my mind," I said. That real smile was on my face again. Jesus, that needy chick needs to stay firmly tucked inside!

"I knew it," Quil responded as he used Seth's back to get the leverage needed to get on his feet. My lungs were very thankful. After helping the other two to their feet they all settled on the floor, putting their serious i-mean-business faces on. This should be entertaining. "So, you spoke to Sue I'm guessing? You seem different." So we have another Team Sue supporter. Just as well I've deserted Team Irresponsible as I'm pretty sure its away to go the way of the Titanic.

"Yes I have. And I'm willing to admit she was right. It's time for a change in Leahville," I answered with the stupid smile that doesn't seem to want to go away.

"I know you might not see it Leah but she means well and well….. just maybe she might be abit righ-"

"Quil! Dude stop, she agreed," Jake interrupted to everyone but Quil's supreme regret. "Shocking as it is, it seems little Lee might be ready to turn over a new leaf?"

"I wouldn't up it that way you big girl. But yeah I guess you could say I'm going for a change." I wasn't really sure how to get across what I was meaning and they were all looking at me with such little kid faces that I just knew I had to say something. "I want to be happy." Okay not anything worthy of song but hopefully they'd get what I meant. If Seth's very manly squeal was anything to go by then they did.

"Wow, that's just great sis," Seth said around the squeal. "This is gonna be great. A happy Leah makes a happy Seth."

"Ohhh, Seth there goes those balls again," Embry responded bringing sniggers from everyone included puberty pup himself. "Right not that I'm not enjoying this, cause really I am, but if the rest of us want to keep our balls, real or Leah's lady balls, then I call an end to this sappy stuff."

"Ignoring the balls comment, I agree," I answered. "I need to shower, and as I said before by the smell of things some of you do to. What's the plans after that? Patrol?"

"Nope," insert Jake's dramatic pause here. "The Cullens'." Okey doke, getting the pause now. Pretty sure that caused the girl-smile to fall straight off my face. The guys however all gained evil little smiles. Despite my earlier decision I still had a lot of anxiety over Jasper. That little part of me couldn't help but taunt me with the idea that this was all some joke that fate was playing, that as soon as I accepted it and got to truly want it, it would all up and disappear. I will just have to push past that though. Scared me was a thing of the past, maybe only half a day in the past, but still the past. That was the plan I came up with in the shower. Channelling General Useless I'm just going to push through the pain. I managed to stick to the plan quite well, repeating it like a mantra throughout my shower and the walk to the edge of the woods. It was a touch harder when I had the guys sharing head space with me. They seemed to have an unnatural interest in the scenery around them, attempting to give me time to get myself together. It was sweet. Or it would have been if they hadn't heard that.

_You think we're sweet?_ Jacob queried. _Come on Leah. We said turn over a new leaf not move to a whole other forest_.

_Hardy-har-har, you're very funny Black._ By the sniggering coming from his sidekicks they clearly thought so. _If you_ _hear any thoughts like that, any of you, it's in your best interests to ignore them. Got it?_

_Whatever you say sis. Just glad to have you back is all. _Embry said. I'm pretty sure he meant that to be as sappy as it sounded. Maybe it is these non-men that were making me go so squidgy inside. It's a theory atleast.

_Non-men?!?!?!?! We are plenty manly thank you_. Seth said.

_If you really want me to believe that you'd best not use puberty-pup as your spokes person_. I have to admit, I have missed the banter. It's so much easier when you don't actually need to open your mouth. Sometimes my lazyness blows me away.

_Blows us away to_. Quil answered. Boy I really have lost the ability to filter my thoughts, they are getting everything! Not good, not good at all. _Yeah we were trying to ignore that_. _Guess it might take you awhile to get back into the swing of things._

_Yeah I think you're right, _I answered. Even my mental voice sounded down at that. It just brought back the pain of denying the wolf. Before the whole imprint business I'd never really thought of the wolf as a separate thing, with it's own feelings but it is.

_Explain that Lee. We are all confused about it. When you phased in we felt the pain and guessed it was to do with the wolf but what are you getting at? _Jake asked reminding me they could hear.

_Don't be embaressed Lee, we wanna know._ Seth said clearly getting my emotions too. The others added their support to his comment.

_Okay well you heard what I thought before right? _At there agreement I continued clearly hesitant. I wasn't sure if this was just left over crazy from denying the imprint or if it had any value._ When I was away it wasn't just the pain from being away from Jasper I felt. Well not just my pain at it. After awhile of not phasing my skin literally felt like it wanted to ripple off. Like the wolf was trapped and because I was ignoring it, it felt like it needed to burst out. I had to constantly fight against it. I'm just starting to realise how wrong that was._

_So you think the wolf is separate from you? _Embry asked, genuinely curious.

_Not totally separate no. My wolf is definitely part of me. But I think like it's just a part of me, I'm just part of the wolf. It lets me be in control when I phase. When I was ignoring it, ignoring it's need to be near Jasper, I knew that when I phased I wouldn't be in control._

_Hence the brain fuzzyness. _Jake said almost to himself. Getting my confusion he explained how they couldn't get a clear read on my thoughts when I phased after the leech attacked.

_Yeah that kinda just reinforces it for me. I need Jasper, but the wolf needs him more. I think the imprint is even more sacred to the wolves in us than to us. When the leech was touching me I lost control of myself, it felt like I wasn't in full control of my own body._

_You think the blood-sucker touching you set the wolf off? _I mentally nodded to Jake._ Wow this is amazing. This is a whole new way for us to look at our wolves. I agree with you one hundred percent on the wolf needing the imprint more I've just never looked at it this way before. _Jacob did sound fascinated by it all. Not much gets him like that these days apart from doll houses and tea parties.

_HEY! You've imprinted now, you're supposed to be on our side Leah!_ Quil argued, the other doll lover jumping to his sole allies defence.

_I think not Ken. You and Barbie over there are on your own. And yes Seth, I realise that wasn't up to my normal standards but I'm going nice 'member?_ Best to cut him off before he gets going. I haven't forgotten that Seth had gotten claws during my hiatus. Through his and Seth's combined huff, I got that Quil agreed with the wolf-imprint theory to. Seems I'd given us all some things to think about.

_Aaaaand, we being the amazing MEN that we are_, Jacob said using his smug voice, _have managed to keep your thoughts off of Jasper. And now we're here. You can thank us later. _Crap.


	11. Happy For Me

**I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to S. Meyer .**

As soon as I stepped into the kitchen to rejoin my family I was immersed back into the pool of emotions that is my life without Leah. I could still feel her as she moved from the forest with her pack, embarrassment, contentment, love and to my pleasure lust, but the further away she got, the more I felt the emotions of those around me. I shouldn't complain, this had been the way I lived since my birth or rebirth, however you want to look at it, but after Leah it was different. It was like getting a glimpse into heaven and then getting shuffled right back down to earth. Nobody ever said I wasn't dramatic. My family clearly didn't intend to let me continue to wallow, well not Esme or Rosalie anyway.

"Oh Jasper," Esme began clutching her hands together in front of her. Love and hope swimming towards me from her. Before Leah, Esme's love had been the strongest I'd even felt. Didn't matter who it was projected towards, her love was a definite force to be reckoned with. "You looked so happy! So did Leah. You are perfect together." My surrogate mother could no longer contain her happiness and moved forward to hug me. To her surprise, and probably everyone else's, I chuckled and hugged her back just as fiercely.

"Esme is right Jazz. It's great. I'm happy for you brother mine," Rosalie said with a sincere smile. To others they were rare but Emmett and myself gained them often. I had a feeling my Leah would be added to that elite list shortly. It confused me but I wasn't going to complain. After seeing the problems Bella and Rose had, Rosalie accepting Leah made my life a lot fucking easier. I returned her smile and released Esme only to pull Rose to me, picking her up and spinning her around.

"I'm happy for me to," I breathed into her ear.

Amongst the cyclone of happy feelings surrounding me there appeared to be one hold out. A black cloud in my otherwise sunny sky, with Leah here dark clouds would have been impossible. Unless she produced them. My dramatic flare taking over again, I really needed to get a hold on that. Without needing to push my power out, knowing my family as well as I did, I could tell it was Alice. Strange, I'd have thought she would be alongside Rose, cheering for me. Clearly something was bothering her. Refusing to believe that Alice would not be pleased for me I considered other options. Maybe she was just upset over the difficulty with her powers the wolves presented.

"It's rather upsetting," Edward interjected. I stopped spinning, placing Rose back on her feet beside me. At several raised eyebrows Edward continued. "Jasper was just theorising on what was causing Alice to not be her usual chipper self. Alice?"

At Edward's prodding Alice told what I had already deduced. "I'm concerned that with the blind spot's the wolves represent to me, we are going to be caught unaware."

"I do not think so Alice," I said moving to sit in the seat Leah had recently left. Her scent was still strong on and around it causing me to breathe in deeply. It had such a calming effect on me. Ignoring Edward's snort I carried on. "In my opinion the Volturi will make sure we know they are coming. They were, in their opinion, humiliated in front of the witnesses they assembled against us during the last assault. They will use the werewolves as an excuse and because of this their approach will be rather different. Amongst our kind, who would be willing to stand along side werewolves?"

"I am of the same opinion Jasper," Carlisle voiced. I inclined my head in his direction, urging him to continue. "This will be an attack that all are aware of. It will not be rushed. Our destruction would be to Aro, Marcus and Caius their greatest triumph." At the word destruction many had went to interrupt but Carlisle held up a palm stopping them.

"Carlisle is not saying we will be destroyed," Edward stated. "On the flip side if we win, it will mean their destruction. This thought will not have occurred to them however, so sure that the victory is theirs."

"True," Carlisle agreed with a nod. Looking down the table towards Alice he began again. "Information of when the attack shall occur may still come in your visions Alice, or it may come from outsiders or possibly the Volturi themselves. I firmly believe that we will know long before the attack is to come."

After the conversation Alice had been someone pacified but I could still sense fear and dejection within her. Hopefully Nahuel could pull her out of her slump and bring the usual bubbly Alice back to the surface. Just as I was about to head up towards my library I heard Alice and Rosalie call my name. Turning back around I saw them both moving towards me.

"You know Jazzy, seeing the way you were with your wolf, it doesn't look as if things will be peaceful for you for long," Alice said with a knowing smirk. Inwardly I agreed Leah was nothing if not passionate. Lucky me. "As it stands, you don't even have a proper bedroom."

"And we," Rosalie said taking over, "find this ridiculous. How can you hope to win over your wolf when after you seduce her you take her to your study filled with musty old books? It won't do brother." Clearly these two had a point. If I was right, they also had the solution which would remove the risk of a fuck-up on my part.

"I see. And do you happen to have a solution to this problem of mine?"

"Why yes, we do! It involves shopping," Alice said with her trademark grin.

"Alright, I'll allow you two to decorate a room for me." At there pleased expressions a hastened to add my condition. "Remember who the room is fucking for though! No pink! None whatsoever. Maybe natural colours? Leah likes green, so lots of green. Got it?"

"Yeah sure Jasper, don't you worry." It was clear I'd already lost them, I only hope they listened. I doubt very much Leah would ever enter my bedroom if it was pink. Maybe this was an elaborate plan on their part. Cock blocking through paint? That's just the type of thing they would find hilarious. Before I got sink into a panic I resumed my journey up the stairs. I had a feeling my books wouldn't hold my attention quite so well now though. I spent the whole time from when I went upstairs to the next afternoon when Edward shouted for me to come downstairs, thinking of the kiss. The Kiss. The one and only kiss I had enjoyed with my mate. That was a fact that needed to be remedied soon. I'd never even guessed that kisses could be like that. It was better than any sex I'd ever had, nobody could compare to Leah on any level. She was the perfect mix of soft and hard. It really did seem as if she had been made for me, perfect down to the last detail. I can only hope however unlikely it is that my Leah feels the same way. In such a short time she has become my whole world, everything else is below her now. Nothing matters without Leah. Imagine what else we could do together if a simple kiss managed to reduce me this. As I slipped again into reminiscing over The Kiss I heard Edward call my name again. Sighing I got up, placing my untouched book back on my desk, and became to walk down the stairs. I could sense that everyone had again congregated in the kitchen. All the family were here bar Carlisle who I assumed was on shift at the hospital. Entering the room I smiled at everyone taking Leah's seat and sniffing deeply. Damn, the smell was almost all gone. That would not do. At Edwards snort I raised an eyebrow.

_Didn't we fix you up your own house brother?_

"Why yes you did," he answered with a smirk. "I _heard_some interesting things while at our cottage however so we decided to head over here so Nessie could see Jacob and the rest of us could talk." Ah so the pack were coming. That meant Leah. Well it better mean Leah, if those wolves had left her alone there would be hell to pay. Embry had promised they would keep her safe. "No to worry Jasper, she is with the. They are just changing form and should be here in minutes."

After giving Edward a small smile of thanks I stood and headed out to the porch. One by one I saw Leah's pack emerge from the trees directly in front of the house until it was only Leah left to come out. Of course my stubborn Leah would take her time. I could feel her nerves of course, along with excitement, love and hope. There was fear there too but I decided to just bask in my happy Leah land again. It was such a refreshing place to be, I could almost forget all the war I had seen. Just let go and be surrounded in Leah. I felt a blast of lust push ahead of everything else and opened my eyes to see Leah standing just at the edge of the trees. It was clear she had been staring at me but not wanting to embarrass her anymore I merely smiled and waited as she walked towards me. Her lust and my lust combined were making it hard to think. The suggestive sway of her hips and the way the dress rose as she walked were doing nothing at all to help matters. By the time she reached me I was hanging onto my control by a thread. Would it be wrong to take her, run away and have my wicked way with her? Yes, yes it would. Don't fucking scare her off. She's your mate idiot, you've got all the time in the world.

"What are you thinking?" Leah's soft voice broke into my thoughts alerting me to the fact that she had reached the porch and that I'd been staring. More like fucking ogling but hopefully that would go unnoticed. When her frustration began to overcome me I thought it best to answer.

"You. It's always you I think about these days," I answered reaching forward and pulling her closer. We were just inches apart now and inhaled simultaneously. "It really is something isn't it? Even your scent is a puzzle to me. I just can't get that final component." Not really expecting an answer, we continued to bask in being this close to each other. Our emotions were a perfect match, love, desire and contentment. Nothing else was present.

"I think we should go on a date." Leah's words caused my head to snap right up. That's my Leah, cut straight to the good stuff. Had I heard that right? Maybe, and I sincerely hoped it was so Leah had given up on the friends idea. Irritation inched in while I was lost in my musings. "We don't have to if you'd rather not. I just thought maybe it would be a good place to start."

"No, no I want to. Nothing I want more." I took her hand as I was speaking, hoping to soothe some of her irritation without the use of my power. "I take it you have decided that we are to not solely be friends?"

"Umm right yeah. Nope not just friends," she uttered while staring at our hands. I wonder if she feels the sparks too. It's almost like a current under my skin. Snapping her head back up she continued, "So a date. Us, on a date. When do you wanna do this?" A small chuckle slipped from me. Even arranging a date seemed like a battle to my Leah. Life would certainly not be boring. At my silence Leah took charge again. "How about Saturday? I have this pack thing tomorrow so that's out."

"Certainly, Saturday sounds perfect. I'll plan something out." At her stuttering I deduced that my easy acceptance hadn't been what was expected. Before we could continue on, I heard the sound of an engine pulling along the road leading to the house. Clearly Leah heard also and we both turned as the car came into view. As it did, the door opened and Edward stepped out of the house with Nessie in his arms. "Edward?"

"Hello Leah, it's wonderful to see you again," Nessie said with her radiant smile.

"You to kid," Leah said with an answering smile. God she is beautiful. Her smile is like nothing I've ever seen. If her emotions are more powerful then her smile has the ability to blow me away.

"Focus Jasper." _Shut it Edward._After a quiet chuckle Edward turned to greet Carlisle who had exited his car and was nearing our little gathering on the porch. "Now that everyone is here, why don't we head inside? Leah has an interesting theory to share with us." At the mention of her name, Leah's head shot up. There was that irritation again melded with embarrassment. Taking her hand again and pulling her away from Nessie I gave Edward my best scowl. _What are you on about Edward? Don't you embarrass her! It's a miracle she is even here. _A subtle nod was my only response. Good, he better have listened. During our silent conversation Carlisle and Ness had moved inside. Tugging Leah along with me I headed towards the kitchen.

"She-wolf! Back so soon. Fantastic," Emmett bellowed from his seat. To my surprise Leah merely chuckled and murmured something about overgrown children.

"Hello Leah," Nahuel began rising to move towards where we stood in the doorway. "I do not believe we have been properly introduced. It is a pleasure to meet you."

"Um yeah you too," Leah answered moving to shake his hand. She was feeling rather uncomfortable and I found myself shifting back on the balls of my feet. Damn her emotions had such an effect. I really needed to get a handle on that. Thankfully Esme flew in and saved me any further embarrassment, leading Leah over to the counter where her pack had assembled around the food.

"Yo, Edward," Leah called over her shoulder. Seeing she had his, and everyone else's attention she continued. "I get that you have no concept of personal space and privacy, but stay outta my mind got it?"

"It is not something I can control Leah," he answered. He didn't even look phased by the glare she was throwing his way. Wow, Edward has grown a pair. Good for him. "I shall endeavour to keep the information I get from reading you to myself however. I did not mean any harm; I just believe it would be beneficial to you to explain your theory to Carlisle."

"Be sure you do, when I'm not furry I prefer to have my mind to myself. But seen as you've already heard our conversation about our wolves why don't you explain it and we'll answer any questions you have." The slight smile she gave him softened what could have otherwise come across as harsh words.

While listening to Edward's summary of Leah's theory on their wolves, my eyes followed my mate and her interactions with her pack mates. It was strange seeing the character traits that I had deduced during my conversations with her brother come alive right before my eyes. I almost felt guilty knowing the things I did about her while she was still in the dark about me. Almost. I'm selfish enough to not want to give up the small amount of knowledge I had on my Leah. Not to worry, she'll learn about me soon enough and I'll learn more about her. Looking at her now she looks so confident. Fitting right in with her brothers, they look to her for reassurance and leadership. Even Jacob relies on her. I can feel her insecurity and the feelings of unworthiness that she has over holding such a position. I'll teach her, show her that she is worth the world, worth everything that there is. Just as I'm thinking these things Leah turns to me and gives me another one of those smiles of hers. Fuck. I'm going to have to get used to that. It's hardly appropriate to be start thinking x-rated thoughts just from a smile. As soon as I returned the smile that link came into being again. Everything melted away leaving just us and the love and lust following between us.

"Jasper! Please control yourself," Carlisle said. Combined with Emmett's slap to the head it was enough to bring me around. I looked around to see everyone, even the vampires, panting. At my confused expression Carlisle explained that I had been projecting again. "This is something that shall require some more control on your part son. Clearly Ms. Clearwater effects your abilities in a powerful manner."

"You don't say Doc. Boy is it hot in here," Embry scoffed bumping into Leah as he moved to the table. "Enough embarrassing the lovebirds. Lets get back to this wolf business. So do you think Lee is right Dr C.?"

"I believe I could provide an answer, if I may?" Umm, Nahuel. He only ever speaks up in our family discussions if he has something important to say so this should be good. Carlisle nodded his agreement as he moved to take his seat at the head of the table. "Quite sometime ago while travelling with my Aunt, we came across a small tribe who worshipped several different species of animals. They believed this group of animals made up what they called Soul Animals. These Soul Animals were ancient souls that wandered the earth until they found the human to which they were bound. They themselves were not shifters but their history contained many references to them. They believed that shape-shifters were those that had been chosen as worthy by their Soul Animal. Although they thought it to be a conscious choice to join with your Animal, everything else in their fables seems to fit with the experiences the pack has described."

"What were the Soul Animals?" Seth like every one else was incredibly curious. I was almost bouncing in my seat with the need to ask questions. As if she could sense my eagerness, Leah placed her hand on my thigh and I instantly calmed, feeling only her emotions rather than hers combined with our joined families.

"I believe the three main examples were the Panther, the Osprey and of course the Wolf. There were others such as Bears but those three were seen as the main incarnations of the phenomenon."

"Well that's something else," mumbled Quil. "Dude, why didn't you tell us this before?"

"Maybe there are other packs out there," Seth called out excitedly before Nahuel could answer. "Lee, maybe there are other girl wolves! This is amazing." Though it seemed the others in the pack were being infected by Seth's enthusiasm Leah was unaffected.

"That was a perfect demonstration of why I did not bring the subject out for discussion Mr Artera. I felt it cruel to raise the hopes of those amongst your tribe who change. Also this is the first time it has been brought to my attention that you feel something other than what you consider yourself in your animal state. My reason for bringing it up now is thus. The Soul Animals were able to communicate with their Bonded. Once the connection was fully formed on both sides it was said that the human and animal could converse when in the animal form. In rare cases it was noted that communication between the two was allowed when in both human and the animal state." Silence greeted the end of the monologue. I was sure I would have been suffocating in shock if I didn't have physical contact with Leah. Sometime during the conversation our hands had formed joined together, seemingly without conscious effort on either part.

"That is amazing Nahuel," Carlisle muttered finally breaking the silence. All the Cullens were starting at the pack members who seemed to be unable to move, or even close the gaping moths in Seth and Jacobs cases. If this was possible this could change their lives. While we all continued to stare, the pack seemed to be silently communicating with each other. After holding Embry, Quil and Seth's gazes Jacob turned to Leah. Unnoticed by her brothers she had been silently staring at our conjoined hands during the entire discussion. As soon as Jake turned his gaze to her however, she raised her head straight away and they began their own private conversation. Leah was projecting fear, concern but there was hope in there too. I couldn't focus on reading anyone at that moment thought seen as how I was drowning in my own jealousy. Jealous that Jacob and Leah seemed to have such an instinctual connection. Jealous that they would react in tandem and seem so natural doing so. They shouldn't be so connected, not when I found it so mesmerizing even holding hands with her. Not when I had only the barest hope that someday we could be connected like that. Leah is my mate. Mine. If she wanted to stare all fucking intense at someone, it should be me! As I spent my time fiercely trying to burn holes into the stupid kid/Alpha, he continued on unaware of his impending death at the hands of one pissed off vampire. Before my glaring could turn into something with more effect, Emmett bellowed out a laugh breaking their connection. Ha! Apparently my jealousy was funny to him. I'd be mad if he hadn't just broken that nice moment the mutt was having with my mate. Instead I wanted to give him a medal. With one last fleeting glance at Leah, Jacob finally spoke.

"So how do we complete the bond? Do you know?" Many of my family, including Carlisle and Alice, were openly shocked by the decision to pursue the opportunity I knew better. My Leah was a fierce protector and so were her brothers. They may not have asked to be werewolves, the chosen of their tribe, but now that they were they'd pursue any chance to further help their people. And a deeper understanding of themselves would definitely do that.

"I do Jacob. From what I hear the completion of the bond is quite simple. Simply meditation combined with the desire to be closer to your bonded Animal. If your desire is found honest, then you will be allowed to commune with your Soul Animal. They will then explain to you what your bond will entail and your with agree or not." Nahuel finished and seemed to shrink back, clearly pleased to be out of the spotlight once again.

"Okay, finally something in our lives that is easy," Embry said breaking the silence that had again descended. His next question was directed at Jacob. "We still sticking with us three then?"

All the wolves nodded at that. Seeing the confusion amongst the vampire contingent in the room Edward explained. "During there staring contest it was agreed that if the process was not overly dangerous Embry, Jacob and Leah would attempt it."


	12. Complicated Dynamics of Safety

**I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to S. Meyer .**

"I am seriously beginning to dislike Edward," Embry snarled into the small space separating our pack as we huddled together in the corner of the Cullen kitchen. You are not the only one dude, this mind invading crap gets out _real_ fast. What was he thinking shouting out our plan in front of everyone. Dude really needs to learn the meaning of boundaries. The five of us just sat nice and quiet ignoring the shouting going on around us. I'd had to move away from Jasper after Edwards's initial outburst or risk losing my hand. As much as I love being near him, I like my hand. Its part of a matching set. Plus I can't imagine a three-pawed massive grey wolf kicking about La Push.

"Look at them," Seth whispered flipping his gaze over his shoulder then back to us, over his shoulder, back to us. He looked seriously panicked. "Do you think they even register we aint arguing with them?"

"Nope," Jake, Quil, Embry and I answered in unison. Quil continued choosing to ignore the death threat hanging off the end of Jake's no, "They're gone off to another place kid. We could get up and leave and they wouldn't notice."

"Why are we even staying? Clearly our opinion means _shit_ to them so let's just go." Alpha Dog was most deffo mad. Mad with a capital M, A and D. I feel for him though, this is our pack, our lives, our business and we aren't Cullens. They don't really have any say. But then there are the two Cullen imprints so maybe they should. Now was not the time to say that to alpha Jake though. I had a feeling he was not open to much discussion right now. Still, it seems it's my life's purpose to calm hormonal teenage werewolves.

"Look Jacob we are all pissed. And you are right. This is your pack." Emphasis on the your, a little ego stroking usually does wonders with my guys. " Edward, Nahuel and Rosalie agree with us. The others are clearly just worried for us. They are our friends so they just want us to be safe. They are trying to –"

"Treat us like kids? Is that how you were gonna finish that sentence cause it's the only fucking ending that makes sense," Jacob spat out while squeezing the edge's of his chair. He was shaking badly, with the rest of the guys not far behind. They seemed to just be following him, usually at least Embry would have more patience and common-sense. This was getting out of hand.

"Leah you gotta deal with this," Embry said glancing between his shaking hands and Jacobs scary face. "He is gonna blow and we're gonna be hot on his tail." Pfft, as soon as i'm done with this i'm gonna teach these guys some self control. Lesson number one – Don't blindly follow the Alpha Idiot. We're wolves not sheep. Plus side to this though, I just put bad ass Leah to rest this morning and not twelve hours later she gets to come out and play. If every day is like this then being nice will be a piece of cake. How best to grab the attention of nine vampires with super-senses who have so far been ignorant of the earthquake overtaking half of their kitchen? After exhausting all other options, cause I mean i'm wearing a dress and i'm a lady so climbing on the table is out and I doubt even my stellar lungs could compete with the noise these Cullens got going, I decided to howl. And obviously to howl properly I have to phase. Instant silence, very effective. I'll have my applause now thank you.

"Effective yes Leah," Edward said into my hard earned silence," but you no longer have any clothing."

_Every plan has a flaw, Cullen. But this way you get one calm wolf in your picture perfect kitchen instead of four angry ones. _Asshole. Always thinking he knows better... _didn't see you shutting them all up._

Not that I would tell Edward this or anything but after phasing I was a bit stumped on what to do next. There wasn't really much room for my wolfie self to move and my tail kept hitting Jake in the face. Serves him right and at least he wasn't gnawing on it. I guess he's feeling slightly less feral so mission accomplished. I really need some clothes but I refuse to ask Edward, he'd just take that as a permanent invite into my mind which it most certainly wouldn't have been. Wasn't Alice meant to be all about the clothes? The onetime I could really use her services and she's slacking. In the two seconds i'd been indulging my internal Shakespeare with my monologue thing going everyone had got over the shock of seeing my furry ass. Esme looked seriously happy which was slightly odd. My guess was that she was thinking of all the cleaning she'd get to indulge in after having a shape shifter wolf next to her dining table. I should really introduce Sue and Esme, they both have the Mom thing going on, they could trade tips. It was Rosalie who was the one to actually approach me though.

"You are very pretty Leah," she said as she moved towards me. When she reached out to run her hand across my flank it took all my self control to keep my jaw from hitting the floor. Rosalie, Rosalie-cold hearted-shifter hating _Rosalie _was petting me. By the stunned looks on everyone bar Jaspers faces they were just as shocked as me.

"Yes she is," Jasper said, being the only one who could at that moment, as he moved towards us. "Beautiful as a woman and a wolf." When he reached me he sunk his hands into the hair on my head. I know I should feel a bit angry about being treated like a dog but I just can't seem to really muster it up. As if sensing my frustration, which he probably was, Jasper started chuckling. "You feel so perfect Leah, soft and smooth," he crooned.

"You are incredibly soft, almost like human hair," Rosalie mused. "I hadn't thought it would feel like that, i'd imagined a much rougher texture." Hearing the snickering coming from my pack mates I let out a small rumbling growl. Jesus they are just so rude, she's being nice and they have to try and ruin it. How long has it taken her to show this human side in front of us and they are kids about it. She just smiled a knowing smile at me though. I guess she would know about immature overgrown boys being married to Emmett. That's Lessen Two for those idiots. There is a time and a place from being immature and embracing your inner bitch and now was not one of those times. I know this which means I conveniently avoid that whole hypocritical issue. "I was originally coming over to ask if you would like some help in the clothes department." At my head nod she smiled again and walked out of the room. Everyone just sat in silence, not so patiently waiting for me to become a clothed human again. It was seriously tense and I didn't like the effect the atmosphere was having on my emotion sponge. His whole stance screamed uncomfortable and his face looked so tight I was sure he'd have permanent lines etched onto his face if it was possible for vampires to get lines that is. I took a half step forward bumping my head against his hand and put the most concerned look possible on my wolfie face. I'm pretty sure I let out a tiny whine as well. I'd bite anyone that mentioned it though, no exceptions. Thankfully my pathetic display worked and Jasper looked at me with a slight smile which erased all the tension from his face. Good, that's the way my Jasper is supposed to look. Never all tense and angry. Just as I was about to sit down and fully indulge myself in the hand Jasper had scratching just behind my ear Carlisle cleared his throat.

"I hear Rosalie, perhaps you should go into the other room and change Leah? I'm sure everyone is anxious to carry on our conversation." Ha good one Doc. Conversation my butt. I did as he said though and carefully turned and headed out of the dining area and into the living room. Blondie was standing on the stairs holding a pile of what looked to be pretty decent clothing, no pink thankfully. She just smiled and left them outside the downstairs bathroom door. That's three smiles in as many minutes. Maybe the world was ending. As I got changed I couldn't help but try and understand this new change in Jasper's supposed twin. The last time I really saw her was the day I imprinted and she was anything but nice then. Total 180 attitude change from then to today. I'm guessing she must be an imprint supporter. That's one person on Team Imprint that I hadn't expected. As I walked back into the kitchen wearing my nice brown yoga pants and thin green hoodie I decided that having Blondie on our side could only be a good thing. She is scary as hell and twice as fierce. Everyone had taken their seats at the table again, clearly ready to carry on with the 'conversation'. Sitting down next to my imprint, I met Rosalie's gaze and gave her a smile of my own. Turning away I looked at Jasper to see him almost bursting with how happy he was. Guess the whole twin thing meant a bit more to them than i'd expected. Grabbing hold of his hand again I kept the smile on my face, squared my shoulders and prepared myself for round two.

* * *

As soon as Leah had settled I decided to start the ball rolling. I realised we'd went off the deep end slightly and that the wolves weren't as used to our family decision making process as we were. Still I wasn't going to ignore my concerns were Leah and her family were concerned. This affected everyone.

"Is there any risk?" I demanded at Nahuel leaning forward. If there was any risk then she wasn't doing it. As soon as the words were out of my mouth Leah snorted pulling her hand away, or trying to. I held tighter. No way was my mate putting herself in anymore fucking danger. Everyone else may be keen to ignore the threat of the unknown vampire but I wouldn't.

"No Jasper," Edward answered using a soothing voice. _Fuck you, don't placate me._ "I am not. Nahuel heard of no risk and Carlisle can think of nothing harmful that could result from the process." Slightly appeased I sat back.

"Thank you, Virtue Vamp," Leah snapped then turned her fire gaze on me. "Could you maybe release your death grip on my wrist Cowboy? And while you're at it remember I'm not some southern belle who you can dictate to. Got it?" She finished crossing her arms over her chest. Apparently I was in trouble again.

"Riiiiiiiiight moving on," Jacob began. He seemed much calmer than before but he still was pissed as hell which was unusual for him. He is quite easy going usually, only middle range or positive emotions coming from him. "As much as we appreciate you guys and your help, you crossed a line before. You blocked us out and decided to make decisions without us. You are not pack. While we value your opinion we make the choices about what we do and yeah maybe that'll be through discussion but it definitely will never be done without our input. The reason we got all worked up was cause my Alpha issues popped up. This is my pack, my responsibility and my instincts just won't stand for you guys railroading over me." By the end of his speech Jacob was looking very uncomfortable. The pack seemed to have grown in presence though as their Alpha exerted his dominance.

"I understand Jacob, and I apologise," Carlisle said in his usual sincere manner. "We did not mean to take over nor to suggest that our opinions should take precedence over those of you and your pack members. Speaking for myself I can only say that I am grateful when you seek my opinion and guidance. I would never seek to make the decisions for you."

"Thanks Doc," Jake answered with his usual smile back in place. "Now that that's cleared up, I'll clear up the rest. Me, Lee and Em will be doing the Soul Animal meditation. We'll be doing it on Saturday cause I wanna at least let Sam and the others know what we will be doing and what it could mean for us."

_Please Edward suggest they do it here!_ If this was going to happen then I had to at the very least be there for it. Here they would have Carlisle and Edward on hand if anything went wrong. Thankfully, prompted by my inner panic Edward suggested it without hesitation and with Carlisle and Nahuel agreeing it was quickly decided that they would try and met with their Soul Animals here on Saturday morning. As much as I did not want my Leah involved in this I could see Jacobs point. That didn't mean that Leah had to be involved though. She seemed to have this instinct to be in the thick of things and that's not someplace I want her to be unless I can guarantee she will be safe. I could feel her silently fuming beside me and decided that we needed to have a talk. She needed to realise that her safety was not something that I was going to compromise on. Maybe I was a fucking caveman but that was just the way it was going to be. As everyone started to drift off into their own conversations I turned to my mate and asked if we could talk.

"Sure why not, I got some stuff to say." Man did she have a fierce glare. That is definitely something to avoid.

"Why don't I give you a ride home? We could talk on the way." At her nod of agreement I stood and waited for her before leading her out of the kitchen and into the garage attached to the house. "I don't have a car so I'll be taking you on the bike." It wasn't a question and I was hoping to hell she didn't think it was and say no. Even though I knew we had to talk and I could have borrowed one of the other cars, the possibility of having her hot body pressed tight against my back was one I didn't even fucking try to resist.

"Whatever. You know the way?" Even though she tried to sound reluctant I could feel her excitement lacing every word. She could barely stop herself from jumping on the bike. Fighting my smirk I moved to straddle the machine holding a hand out hoping to steady her as she climbed on behind me. She ignored it and slid on herself. That independent streak wouldn't let my Leah rely on my help yet, she would soon though. As I kick started the bike she wrapped her long arms around my waist. Her hold started off loose but the closer we got to La Push the tighter it got. It was amazing, this was definitely something I wanted to do over and over again with her. The speed combined with the fact that I was surrounded by her scent, her heat and her excitement made it one of the best experiences of my life. Everything with Leah was just _more. _More than it had ever been with anyone else and more than I had ever thought it could be. Not to mention it was just hot as hell to have her breasts pressed tight against my back and to feel the intense heat of all of her against my back. About a minute after we passed the old treaty boundary and the first houses of the reservation came into view she began to panic. Realising the cause I immediately began to soothe her.

"Don't worry, I'm allowed into La Push now. Being an imprint and all," I called over my shoulder. I felt her head nodding between my shoulder blades and her panic drift off. I tried to keep my focus on the road but I could feel her breathe on my skin through my clothes. It was hot and moist against my cold skin and I couldn't keep my mind from wondering how other parts of her would feel. Or even how her sweet breath would feel against my bare skin. As good as it felt to hold her hand I was pretty sure everything else was going to blow me away. God, I can't wait. I could feel her breathing speed up against my back, she was panting and I had been projecting my lust again. Shit focus on the road Jasper. Focus. Focus. Focus. That was my mantra for the next 4 minutes and 48 seconds it took us to reach her house. By the time I turned off the engine we had both calmed down and I wasn't spreading the desperate need to get laid to half the population of my mates home town. I held the bike steady as Leah climbed off then turned to face me. I think she thought I was gonna stay on but I was certain this would be a conversation where the full use of my hands would be to my advantage. When I was off the bike we stood in silence for a bit, just staring at each other. It wasn't awkward though, it was one of those comfortable silences that you can only have when you are a peace with the person your with. We weren't at peace though.

"So are you going to apologise then?" Leah asked.

"No, not really," I answered. At her incredulous stare I continued. "I'm not sorry about what I said. I am sorry it upset and angered you but I think it's probably best we talk about this now. I won't stand for you being hurt Leah. In no circumstances is it okay for you to be put in danger."

"Okay wow, where do I even start with that Cowboy? Do you even realise that I'm a wolf. Like a predator with sharp teeth and claws that could tear your marble ass up?"She was amused rather than annoyed which seems to bode well for me. "I get that you've got this whole Cowboy thing going on, riding in to save the chick in the ugly skirts but that's not me and isn't ever going to be me."

"I know what you are. That doesn't mean you need to put yourself in harm's way. And that damsel in distress bull shit is just that, bull shit. You know that isn't how I see you or you wouldn't even be talking to me. Why can't you just accept that I'm here and I'm going to look after you?"

"I'm a protector for fucks sake! I don't need you to protect me, I can look after myself." She was giving me her glare again and all traces of amusement were gone. She was angry but underneath that she was scared. Fuck, this girl has so many issues it's like walking through a minefield.

"You might not need me, but I _need _to protect you. I need to look after you, keep you safe," I responded reaching to pull her into my arms. It surprised me just a little when she came without a fight. "I see you, my Leah. I don't see fucking skirts or any of the shit. Just you. If the Volturi or something else comes then we'll be there, me and you, side by side. We'll fight together but we will both be there. _I'll _be there right beside you and _I'll_ keep you safe. I wouldn't want you to be anything other than the fierce warrior that you are. We're a unit now, we come together. That doesn't overtake the fact that it's my job to protect you though. No discussion."

Leah looked up at me, her eyes boring right into me. "I'll keep you safe too. No discussion" Then she kissed me and it was so much more than that first kiss. It started sweet, reflecting the sentiment of our conversation but it wasn't long before my passion for her kicked in. I swiped my tongue across her bottom lip and she opened up her mouth for me to devour. She was so sweet and hot and wet and she seemed like she was just as desperate as me. I could have carried on kissing her for forever but sadly my rational side hadn't totally deserted me and I remembered that while a shape shifter, my Leah still needed to breathe. As I broke our lips apart I darted my tongue around my own mouth tasting that which was solely Leah. It was like a promise that she'd left in my mouth. I couldn't stop myself from grinning when I looked at her, all panting and passionate red. I'd thought I'd got at least some of her reactions figured out but when she laughed I realised that I still didn't have a clue how she would react to any given situation. She was a total mystery. "You are certainly something Mr Cullen."

"It's Whitlock actually. Well Hale here, but I'm Whitlock." She just smiled back at me oozing happiness and hope. I don't think she realised what an important distinction that was, not now but she would eventually. Leah would be a Whitlock not a Cullen or a Hale. It was my selfish streak showing again but when I marry Leah and want everyone to know she is mine. Just mine, no confusion.

"Well umm I'd invite you in but umm," she mumbled looking over her shoulder at her house, "well I'm pretty sure Sue would suffocate you with questions and I'd rather be well rested for that particular event."

"No problem. I won't see you tomorrow will I?" I asked as I reached forward a tucked a fly away stand of hair behind her ear. It had grown so much from the day everything changed. Still beautiful though.

"No I suppose not, I'll be too busy playing babysitter," she laughed. "I'll see you Saturday though for the pack crap and the date." The way she said it sounded like a challenge almost as if daring me to back down. Not going to happen.

"Yes you will." I leapt back onto the bike. Everything had gone the way I'd hoped it would. I could be protective now and have the defence that she'd agreed and accepted that that was the way it was going to be. I nodded my head urging her to move towards her house, waiting until she was at the door until I started the engine and moved off. I could feel her amusement and hear the snort she gave off but there was no anger or loud vocal complaint. Somehow I didn't think it would always be that easy.


	13. The Mystery of Staring Contests

**I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to S. Meyer .**

I've never been a big fan of the bonfires us wolves have. Not even when I was little and my Dad was one of the ones telling the legends of our tribe. Before, and yes I can agree that this is hilarious in the light of my life now, it was because of the lack of girls in the stories. It was always the men of the tribe that fought off the threat and saved the day. Even in my favourite story, the one of the Third Wife, the woman didn't get to kick ass. She left that to the guys. After I turned wolf, with that horrible bonfire with the original pack, imprints and Bella, my hatred entered a whole new level. It was like we were all sitting down to hear the stories of how I was wrong, how I didn't fit their mould. Bella being there had just been the icing on the cake. Everyone in the tribe had known what was happening between her and Jacob and Edward. It all worked out for them but I still remember how it all went down. I guess that now that I don't even hate the idea of bonfires anymore I should try and get over my Bella issues. I won't though. I quite enjoy being one of the few people that doesn't bend over for that girl. Even the new nice Leah gets a major kick out of it. That was how the pack found me, sitting on my front step with my I-hate-Bella smirk firmly planted on my face. We'd decided we'd trek down to the beach together, present a united front now that the whole pack was back together again. Seen as how we came baring the news of a possible Vamp invasion due to my existence I thought it best to go along with Quil's unity plan. Let's not rock the boat when I'm pretty sure it's gonna be taking heavy fire in an hour or so anyway. Enjoy the calm seas while we can. I tried to explain the boat analogy to the guys as we meandered our way down to the beach but they didn't really seem to be paying attention. Apart from Seth shockingly enough. That boy got brains while I was gone. I feel like a proud soccer mom, I just want to cheer for him.

As we got nearer and nearer to the fire pit I could see the guys getting more and more anxious. I felt fine, I was almost looking forward to seeing everyone again. That caused the alarm bells to start ringing. I was maybe a new version but I was still me and never would I have thought I could look forward to a pack get together. Jasper must be kicking around someplace sending me the soothing vibes. Ah, Jasper. I'd spent pretty much the whole day thinking about him. After about four hours of fantasising about every part of him I'd decided to call him. Then, I'd decided against it. I refuse to become one of those girls who can't go a day without calling her boyfriend, if that is even what he is, can you can a nearly 200 year old vampire your boyfriend? Plus I have the added risk of becoming an imprint zombie who can't go more than two hours without seeing or speaking to their imprint. I had gone months without seeing him, I could definitely do a day. Easy. But then, the whole running stage had come before we had kissed. After two kisses from Jasper I was positive that if he'd kissed me before I'd ran I wouldn't have made it further than the edge of Forks. Those kisses were just something else; I felt them down to my bones. I'm gonna stop that train of thought before it goes any further because it isn't really promoting thoughts that are acceptable to be thinking while walking towards a large group of teenage boys. Especially when you've avoided phasing all day to hide the effects those kisses have had on my apparently super weak self control. I seriously blame Quil, Paul and Embry. Ever since I got in thrust into their dirty little heads all I've seen is sneaked pictures of porno mag's and the disgusting stuff they get up to when they're alone at night. Believe me those memories are ones I could have gone without seeing.

I can see the other pack just ahead of us now. God, I forget there is so many of them compared with us. Twelve in that pack and I know next to nothing about seven of them. The closer we get to them the more obvious it is that they are kids. Not kids in the way that the rest of us were when we first phased, but proper kids. I'd been shocked when Brady and Collin first phased with them being only thirteen at the time. It had been hard enough for me to deal with Seth phasing at that age but I'd thought that like me, he'd been a bit of a fluke. Guess not though. The wolves that phased for the Nessie battle were even younger than Seth and the duo permanently attached at the hip, I think the youngest had just turned eleven when they blew. How they managed to deal with it is beyond me, I'd just turned 18 when it happened to me and I thought my life was ending.

"Do you know them?" I ask quietly, directing it to all of my pack. They don't need to ask who I'm talking about, all our thoughts have been going on the same track.

"No not really. I can't say I've ever really spent any time with them," Jacob answered. He looked guilty which I can understand, he is the true Alpha and all. I wished he wouldn't though, he still has time to grow into that or not, if he'd prefer.

"Sam keeps them away from us Lee," Seth added quietly moving to walk at my shoulder. "Think he might be worried more will come over to our pack if he lets them around us." Idiot. I guess I shouldn't be surprised though, General Useless is all about strategy and our pack does look a hell of a lot more appealing than his regiment. The others nodded in agreement with Seth but Jake just looked tense, his face all turned up like he'd smelt something awful.

Bumping into him with my right side I gave him a wide smile. "You want me to have some fun with him? You know how I love to see him squirm." Jake's bellowing laugh let me know that I'd managed to kick him outta his funk, sadly though it also caused about twenty people to shift our way. Shit, they'd noticed us. No getting out of this now.

"Look at how pleased they are to see you Leah," Quil chuckled loud enough for everyone to hear then whispered into my ear that I was definitely stuck now. Fucker, I'll get him for that. It was kind of funny though, everyone there apart from my mom looked so shocked to actually see me. I had the urge to run at them screaming that I was the ghost of Christmas past, I resisted though. As everyone mumbled their hellos, complete with slaps on the back and general boy crudeness I took a seat near the fire. The smell made me think of Jasper and I got lost in my thoughts of him until Emily knelt down in front of me and launched herself at me. I'd never been all that big on hugging but seen as how I'd told her during our phone call that I'd forgiven her, and I sincerely had, I didn't think I could really push her away. Let's just hope it's quick, there is only so long I can awkwardly pat someone's back.

"I'm so glad you're back," Emily squealed as she finally let go of her death grip. I just smiled. I was glad I was back to and wouldn't really be against a nice chat with my dear cousin but now was not the time. As if proving my point my boys moved to sit beside me, Jake and Quil on my left and Seth and Embry on my left. Emily thankfully took the hint and headed back over to Sam on the other side of the fire. I'd never really understood why the guys brought their imprints to these things. They were about pack business, and not the nice parts of being wolf. I wonder what they would have said if I'd brought Jasper. I'm pretty sure that if nothing else it would clear out the rest of the imprints. Ha I'd have to do that sometime, it'd be funny to see them all go macho then get laid out for it. Okay, back to the present Clearwater. During my entertaining thoughts the 'meeting' had been started. I could hear them discussing my attack and what the Cullen- Cool Pack theory on what that meant was. I tried to focus on what Jake was saying, I really did, but I'd heard it all before so I decided people watching was a much better use of my time. All the originals looked pretty much the same, Paul scowling, Jared smooching, Sam stoic and Brady and Collin snickering to each other. It was the newer wolves I was interested in and clearly that went both ways. Six pairs of eyes were glued on me, some looking scared while others just looked interested. The only one not staring at me was staring at Embry. That was something to ponder later. I tried smiling at the ones looking at me but that just seemed to make them even more interested. What the hell?

"Psst Embry," I kind of whispered while leaning over Seth. Subtlety isn't really my thing.

"What?" he snapped back. Clearly he didn't appreciate me interrupting the staring contest he had going on. At least he only had one of the midgets ogling him.

"What's with the staring? All but your stalker are acting like their beady eyes are glued to me. It's odd. And more than a little creepy." I wasn't really even trying to whisper towards the end. My bad. I punctuated my statement with a sideways glance at the offenders. They were all looking at each other guiltily apart from Mr Stand Alone. He was still stuck on Embry. That is really odd, maybe Embry knows the newbie's better than I thought. The kid doesn't look mad or anything, just confused and damn intense.

"Just ignore them. They're probably just shocked you made an appearance at one of these things."

"Yeah, or it could be the psycho smile you've had on your face ever since we sat down." Thanks for that helpful input Seth, you can have an elbow to the stomach for your trouble.

"Will you guys shut up," Jake joined in leaning onto my back. "Pay attention it's getting to the good stuff now." Well I guess if they're finished talking about me needing to be saved then it wouldn't be too bad to pay some attention.

"Glad to see you have decided to join us again Leah," Billy said as I sat back. Yeah thanks Billy just what I need, more attention focused on me. The other pack stopped their sniggering at my glare which sadly had no effect on Billy, my mom and old Quil. "So let us get back on topic. The Volturi threat. We think it would be a good idea if patrols were upped and coordinated between the packs. Sam, Jake?"

"No problem Billy," Sam stated in his professional voice. He is all about the business. "Jacob and I can easily coordinate patrols, with his smaller pack focusing on the Cullen territory and the area surrounding the Black, Call and Clearwater houses." They way he said smaller it definitely sounded like an insult. I got the feeling I wasn't the only one who thought so by the muttering coming from my brothers. "For safety reasons I'd like to suggest pack members don't patrol alone. I also don't think Leah should be alone, ever."

"Woo, woo, woo, say what now?" I really need to get my ears checked out, even Sam isn't stupid enough to suggest something like that. Always having to be with one of the pack, cause I just know that's what he meant by not being alone. That dick.

"Leah is clearly a high profile target here. It was her that the vampire initially contacted even though she would have been much harder to find than any of us back here in La Push. We have recently been letting our guard down, and I'm sure that if the Leech's had really tried they could have caught any one of us alone," Sam said not even bothering to look at me while he tried to get the elders to agree to a goddamn babysitter for a twenty year old werewolf. "I think until more intel can be gathered Leah should be under the protection of the Pack, never without a protector." I was seeing red by the end of his lame ass explanation. I am a protector, why do they all seem to forget that so easily. Okay, so maybe I didn't do so hot in the fight in my apartment but that took place under extenuating circumstances. I could kick Sam's ass any day of the week. Thankfully my Pack aren't primates like Sam and his goons and agree with me.

"Lee can look after herself," Jacob stated cutting off both Sam and my mom. "She is a protector and deserves the respect of one, not to be talked about like she's a child. Come on Uley, actually think about it. There isn't any need for your pack to get involved in looking after her at all. That's final." Go alpha Jake, even Sue looked impressed.

"So you are going to just let her carry on as normal?"

Jake and the rest of my pack burst out laughing. I was pleased to note that the elders were little out like snickers as well. Clearly they know how absurd that comment was, I'll just have to clear it up for the rest of them. "Do you really think anyone _lets _me do anything Useless? I decide for myself. And I know I have to be careful and I'm never really alone anyway with these guys as brothers. You aren't wanted, got it?" I didn't even focus long enough to see if I got a response. I just really couldn't be bothered with all this petty bickering. I know I'm one of the main causes of it but still it gets old after about five minutes and these meetings tend to last hours. I let my mind wander again and it landed back on the younger wolves. I felt pretty bad that I'd never taken the time to get to know them, though that had probably been for the best when I was my bitter bitchy self. They were lucky in one way at least. They phased late enough that they had avoided all the drama of the packs that came about when we all first phased. The me and Sam drama, Bella and Jake, Bella and the Cullens and the pack split. None of it was particularly fun. I do feel bad that they have never got to know the guys in my pack though. It would probably have made the transition a hell of a lot easier for them if they'd had Seth, Quil and Embry helping them through it.

"Will more kids phase?" The question was out of my mouth before I'd really thought about it. Everyone immediately stopped talking and turned to me. I really got to learn when to keep it zipped. "Umm I just was thinking, last time the Mafia came calling these guys," I said pointing to the Seven Musketeers, "phased. And Brady and Collin when that Vamp with the bad dye job was kicking around."

"She's right," Jake mumbled. Everyone was looking very thoughtful. "We weren't prepared for it then, we have to be prepared for the possibility now." Alpha dog and Sam were locked in one of their mega creepy stare downs. This might cause some trouble. Last time our pack hadn't been allowed in La Push so we didn't really know what was going on with the new wolves, but this time the guys who phased would have to choose a side. Trying to put off the inevitable showdown I asked if there were any more kids with the gene that we should be on the look out for. Maybe we'd get lucky and there wouldn't be anyone else who had to suffer through this.

"That's not something we know off of the tops of our heads, Ms. Clearwater." I wish Old Quil would call me Leah. I've given up on trying to get him to do it though, it just isn't gonna happen. "Conall, Nicky and Jackson all have younger brothers that are obviously possibilities but other than those obvious contenders we would have to think and look into the blood lines." All those three were the newer shifters and it was easy to spot who they were from the panicked looks on their faces. As much as some of us love this life, and some of us really don't, it isn't a life that you would wish on your family.

"Let's not forget that there is always the possibility for mysterious changings," Billy added looking at me and then Embry. I smirked.

"Lucky us a Em? Maybe we can get another unexpected shifter to join with us, pump up the numbers a bit." We both laughed while everyone else looked uncomfortable, especially Sam, Jake and Quil. I guess they were more sensitive about Embry's dad issues than he was. Go figure. After that things started to wind down and the people started to drift off into groups. There was still a clear divide between the two packs, but Sam's pack didn't seem that unified with its two distinct groups. There was almost no interaction between the two, with Sam and his original wingmen making up one and all the younger wolves including Brady and Collin in the other. It was almost like we had three packs and one just didn't get a voice. Just as it looked like people were going to start leaving Jacob asked the old pack members to stay saying he had something to discuss. I was kind of shocked, although I probably shouldn't have been, when the General told Brady and Collin they weren't allowed to stay. From the glances Seth, Embry and Jake were throwing at me I could see it didn't sit too well with them either. Quil had left, already knowing what we were going to talk about and hoping to get in some story time before bed. Claire had him wrapped round her little finger already, it made ya wonder what he'd be like when she actually had something to hold over his head.

When it was just us Sam, Paul and Jared left with the elders Jacob started explaining about Nahuel and what he'd told us about Soul Animals. They all looked interested if sceptical. I think Jacob got that so he asked me to tell them about what had happened while I was away. I really wasn't overly keen on anymore people knowing about my pathetic fight against myself and the wolf so I kept it pretty brief, leaving out as much detail about my imprint as I could.

"So yeah, we think that my experience and the stuff Nahuel told us support the idea that the wolf is separate," I finished. They all looked blown away, clearly it wasn't what they had expected. "You guys have all imprinted. Can't you feel the difference in how the wolf feels about Emily, Kim and Rachel?" Maybe relating it back to them would make it easier for them to get onboard with the idea.

Surprisingly it was Paul who agreed with me. I definitely would have lost money on that one. "I see what you're saying. I've never felt it when human like you have but then I've never tried to deny the imprint like you," he said with something that almost sounded like admiration in his voice. "It's worth a try right? This could really help us kick some Vampire ass if it works." Ah, there's the Paul we all know and love.

After that it was pretty easy for the guys to get the other two to agree. The elders stayed suspiciously silent the whole time but they looked just as shocked as everyone else did when they were first told so I was pretty sure it was a new idea for them two. Not long after that the guys started to leave, it wasn't too comfortable for our small group to be around each other these days. It shocked me that that made me sad. Since when did the girly girl completely take over me, I can't believe it bugs me that we aren't all buddy buddy. Jesus I'm turning into Emily. Or even worse, Bella.

"Hey Leah wait up!," Paul shouted breaking into my quiet walk behind my pack brothers. They were laughing and joking about some random crap they'd seen on tv so I'd decided to hang back and had gotten lost in my thoughts. That seemed to be happening awful frequently lately. I decided some company, even if it was Paul, might help stop me from turning into a crazy person on my walk home so stopped to wait for him.

"You guys go ahead," I shouted at the boys. "Paul is probably heading to yours Black so I'll just walk with him." Ignoring their incredulous muttering I turned and raised an eyebrow at Paul, challenging him to say he wouldn't do it.

"No problem." Damn guess I won't be getting a fight out of him tonight. Probably for the best, enough bitching at the bonfire.

"So what's with the company?"

"Can't I just wanna walk you home?" At my raised eyebrow he carried on. "Yeah guess it is a bit weird. I just wanted to clear the air, ya know? When you left I realised I didn't really like the way things were standing with us. We hadn't really talked since you left the pack and....and...well I'm sure you remember what it was like then without me having to say it."

"Wow. Yeah I remember. It's probably a good idea to clear the air, but it's not really needed dude. I'm not angry or upset with you any more, I know how much of a bitch I was back then. I didn't really make the mind sharing any easier for any of us. So does Rachel have anything to do with your motivation?" I smiled up at him, letting him know I wasn't being a bitch asking that. I just thought it was probably true. Paul had that whipped vibe about him now. He seemed sincere though which was what made me be honest with him. He let out a massive laugh eerily similar to Jacob's and nodded that I was right. After that we just spoke about random stuff, mainly what he had been up to while I'd been gone. It seemed he was really sorting himself out, a job, saving, the whole nine yards. I was impressed. I couldn't find time for much outside of my pack duties before i'd up-ed sticks. When we reached Billy's place we both stopped and sat on the dirty white steps. The house looked a lot different than it had until Rachel came home. She'd cleaned the place up a lot and it looked like she'd talked the guys into giving it a new paint job. The red had a new shine to it. I could hear my pack and the rest of the Black's inside but I had absolutely no desire to go in. I'd had enough testosterone for the day, I just wanted to go home and sleep. As I stood up and made to leave Paul suddenly looked mega nervous.

"You're not about to offer to walk me the five minute route it'll take to get to my house are you? Cause I'll kick you in the balls," I said brushing off the back of my dress.

"Ha, no I'm not stupid," he answered laughing. "I just well....Well I wanted to say that I think what you did is pretty amazing. I admire that you were able to deny the imprint like that. Nobody else has even tried seriously to do it cause it hurts so much and you manage months away from yours. I know what it's like to know you can't see your imprint for a day and that's hell. I can't even imagine the fucking agony of it with what you did. I just wanted you to know that I admire that and I get why you did it. The whole protecting the status quo thing, even though it ended up not being needed. I'm glad it worked out for you though, you and your vamp."

As he was talking I realised something, something massive. Me and Paul, we're the same. He gets it, and he's maybe the only one that really truly understands. He value the same traits. Being a hero doesn't mean anything if you're just doing it to see what you can get out of it. And running away from your imprint to kept your pack safe is just about the top of the list on things that you should do if needed. I just nodded in response, cause if my new light bulb moment was true then he wouldn't appreciate me calling attention to his confession. I was also floating away on my happy cloud then. That statement there was pretty much what I had thought I'd never get. Paul, one of the hardcore Cullen haters was accepting my imprint. Maybe things were gonna be easier than I'd thought. Walking home in my happy daze, I wasn't paying any attention to my surroundings. If I wasn't such a hard ass I'm pretty sure I'd have been skipping. All good things come to an end when you're me though. I was just turning onto the path leading to my house, the road to my right and the forest, with its deep green cover thick to my left. I'd not taken two steps down the road when I was hit by that bleach scent that makes me just want to rip and bite and kill. The scent was all over, all around me, so there was no way I could pinpoint the location. I knew the blood sucker was still kicking around though, some of the scent trails were no more than a few minutes old. I was back to fighting my instincts again, trying desperately not to phase in the middle of my street. The wolf was having none of it. I had a constant stream of _. _running on repeat in the back of my head. Pretty sure I'm going insane. Maybe the whole Soul Animal idea is just a way to rationalise the fact that I've got multiple personality disorder. It was hard to focus on being me with that rough voice echoing off the walls inside my head. I started taking deep breathes, the whole in...out... deal trying to calm myself down. I knew I had to get control of myself and assess the situation before it did anything. I would be so much easier without that goddamn stench burning the inside of my nose and throat. Once I was back under control I went into protector mode, scanning the area using my eyes, ears and nose to detect anyone nearby. Thankfully, or not depending on how you look at it, I was alone. As if realising that I'd just worked that out, my very own personal stalker jumped down from one of the trees marking the entrance to the forest. He's alot bigger than I remember. Seriously big, wrists the size of my thighs. He could probably give Emmett a run for his money. As he stepped back slightly, moving under the trees, I let my instincts finally take over and phased, turning my body so I'd land facing him.

"Hey wolfie, long time no see," he smiled showing his sharp teeth. I had the urge to reciprocate but decided against it for now. "Did you miss me? I missed you. I suppose not, you have been rather busy since the last time we were together. Damn hard to find anytime in your busy schedule to fit myself in."

This guy was seriously whacked. I really do hate all the talking before the action. I'm of the opinion that if it's going to happen then just get it over with, no need for the verbal sparring beforehand. I've yet to meet a vampire that agrees with me, they are all about the serious talk before the killing. Lovely. With that in mind, and the lack of anyone else talking in my mind, I decided to forgo being cautious and listening to his psycho talk and just call for the pack. I soon as I let out our howl version of the bat signal Muscles started laughing. Proper bent over in half laughing too. Not ten seconds later I felt the signs of four other minds joining with mine.

_Guys creepy Muscles is back. I'm just down from my house. _I thought at them straight away, pushing the fact that I was calm at them to. Okay I was creeped out, Muscles was definitely a freak but I didn't think he'd attack me. Not right not.

_Either way we'll be there in two minutes._ Jake said. Why was it going to take them so long? Jesus I'm only about three minutes on foot, on paws it'd take seconds. _We're going to come around through the woods, block the bastard in. _

_Okay got it._ Although I didn't think I'd been worried before, knowing that they were on their way did suddenly make me feel a hell of a lot better.

When the leech finally got control of himself, helped along by the fact I was snarling at him he started up his one sided conversation again. "Why did you have to go and do that girlie? I'm not going to hurt you. Remember what I said, where's the fun in taking you down, when I take all of your kind down with you. I just thought we could have a bit of a chat." Muscles smile suddenly ended at that and he pulled a very impressive pout. "Now you've gone and ruined that plan and I really want some answers before the end. You really are too much of a puzzle to kill before I at least try and work out the mystery." I think he meant that as a compliment but I'm not really seeing it. Before he could start off again we both heard the sounds of my pack approaching from behind. Before they could even come into sight though, he jumped back up into the trees and took off towards the beach. Jake, Quil and Seth all took off after him, following him from below but Embry and I just met just under the cover of the trees.

_There's no point, _Embry stated, _He'll just take off into the water. Fuck. They all know they've got the advantage there._

_We still gotta tail him, make sure he doesn't hurt anyone of his way out. _Even Jacob knew it was useless.

_Well thanks for coming anyway guys, I don't think I could have handled much more of his banter._ Wasn't that the truth. I could feel that they were all curious as to what exactly he'd said, they had been focusing of their stealthy approach rather than what shit was coming out of his mouth. _Well let's just say Billy isn't the only one who thinks I'm a mystery._


	14. You be the Bird, I'll be the Bee

**I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to S. Meyer .**

Knowing that without a distraction I'd spend my whole day brooding in the kitchen, my second choice place after my study which has currently been taken over by my demented sisters, Emmett, Edward and Nahuel decided to take me on a day long hunting trip. I'd been more than a little reluctant to begin with but now I was glad I had let them convince me. It had been really good to just let loose for awhile, to ignore the stress and worry I was feeling over my Leah. My feelings weren't all bad however, I was feeling fucking great about the kiss we had outside her house last night and I was excited for the date tomorrow. I'd never felt excited over a date before, I felt like a fucking kid again when it came me Leah. It was a good feeling. I'd been tossing ideas around in my head all day of what to do on our date. I think got on Edwards nerves slightly, well I know he was definitely irritated, I'm just surmising I was the cause. We were all running relatively slowly alongside each other through the dense forest as we headed for home. First I'd though dinner but then I'd realised just how much of an appetite killer it would be for Leah so have me sitting staring at her while she ate. So dinner was out. Then I thought movie, but I didn't really see the appeal in sitting through a movie in tiny seat with noise that would blow away our heightened senses. The fact that I didn't want to lock myself into a room with possibly hundreds of hormonal and tasty smelling humans also had a factor in my rejection of the usual choices.

"Give yourself some credit, brother," Edward said breaking the silence that had settled. "Your control is greatly improved for what it was before you found your mate." _Maybe around Leah and her pack Edward, but they aren't human._" Yes, but there was the trip you took into a heavily populated area of Calgary and not once did you feel tempted."

"That was different," I spoke aloud. I had a feeling Edward was revving up to go for a major point and I wanted Emmett and Nahuel to be prepared to back me up. Once he gets going, no one can stop him alone. Apart from Bella that is but they almost never disagree so that is a useless distinction for the rest of us.

"Yes, there were certain circumstances surrounding that occasion, but they were circumstances that would have previously made you regress, not move forward." He did have a point there. I'd let the monster out and usually that meant red. Blood and rage.

"Where are you going with this Edward?" I decided to just stop, maybe if we were stationary he'd spit out whatever he wanted to say quicker.

"When was the last time, before today that you hunted?" Then again, maybe fucking not.

"Not for a few days, I've been a little busy," I snarled taking his question as criticism.

"It was Saturday," Nahuel interjected. He was satisfied and Edward was just oozing smug.

"Jasper, man, you went nearly a week without hunting," Emmett bellowed out in surprise. "You didn't even want to come on the hunt today and definitely didn't need to." What they had said was true, and even to me was rather shocking. I usually couldn't go more than four days without hunting and that was when I was secluded with only my family. I didn't want to get all fucking excited like these idiots though, one time does not constitute a real change.

"Perhaps not Jasper," Edward cut in again with one of those annoying smirks on his face. "But I know what you think and not once in the past six days have you felt anything greater than the base level burn we all feel."

"Why are you so reluctant to acknowledge your achievement?" Well Nahuel I don't want to get the hopes of my family up and then fly off in a murderous, bloodlust induced rage. That's what I wanted to say but I decided to just shrug instead. No need to let everyone know I had no faith in my own control, they had little enough faith in me as it was. Edward glared at me clearly still tuned into my thoughts but I ignored him. He knew I was right.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see the matter progresses," Edward said closing the conversation. _No need to feel so pleased with yourself you asshole. _

"Good, now that that's over we can move on to the good stuff," Emmett said pushing off from the tree he had been leaning against. He was feeling as giddy as a school girl as he moved to stand beside the other two fuckers. I suddenly felt trapped. At Edwards laugh I realised that was probably a dead on assessment of the situation. "Let's talk about your wolf."

"I'd rather stick to talking about my bloodlust."

"Cooome on Jazz," Emmett screamed. "Given the choice between bloodlust and just plain old lust, the dirty talk gets my vote any day."

"I have to say I agree. I'm quite interested in hearing about your mate Jasper." Nahuel you dick. He doesn't need any encouragement.

"There see," Emmett said slapping Nahuel on the back. "We're all interested. Come on Jazz, we are brothers- this is what brothers do!" Shockingly enough I could feel he was seriously determined to have this conversation. There was usually nothing but amusement behind his teasing.

"He is very determined, he wants to know and will only continue to pester you about it until you give in," Edward responded to my unasked internal question.

"Fine," I said grudgingly moving to sit down on an overturned log in the clearing we were standing in."What exactly do you wan-"

"Have you slept with her yet?"

"Jesus Emmett," Edward cried," if you actually want to have this conversation try having some tact. Please." I knew he was more interested than he let on; clearly Bella had introduced Edward to some amount of a voyeuristic side._ Emotions never lie Edward, _I singsong-ed earning a glare.

"No. When exactly would I have done that Emmett? Anytime I've seen her we've been around other people." Pretty sure the bitterness about that fact crept into my tone just a little.

"Dude when you took her home," Emmett answered eagerly. "The bike, man. Her all pressed against you, you between her legs. That's a recipe for sex. Basic birds and bees stuff right there"

"I had heard mortal women find motorbikes to be arousing," Nahuel added nodding at my idiot brother. Or other idiot brother if he kept up with those kind of comments.

"I'm hardly just going to fuck my mate against my bike," I snarled. Edward looked pleased at that while the other two were more than a little disappointed.

"I get that I guess," the biggest idiot grumbled under his breath. He perked up quickly again though before asking what exactly myself and Leah had done.

"Kissed. Twice." From the amount of shock I drowned in after that statement that clearly wasn't what they had been expecting. What the fuck? This was getting on my nerves now. Leah hadn't even been back a week and we'd been alone a total of half an hour, with her conscious that is, since she returned. What exactly were they expecting? I wanted to be with her, god did I want to be with her. But I didn't want to rush into it. I'm hardly a calm, quiet lover what with my general disposition combined with my ability. I was still trying to get Leah used to how protective I am of her without adding in my possessiveness. Best to take it slow, after we have sex that'll be the end of that. I know myself and I know I'm a jealous and possessive asshole. I also know right now that if I tried that on my Leah, she'd ripe my head off then hand it to me. On the other hand maybe I could understand my brothers' confusion. They had only ever seen me with Alice before and I married her a week after we met. Generally vampire mates don't wait too long before hitting the sack. There isn't any point in the 'get to know you' dating scene humans use. They're your mate, you already love each other. The mate part wasn't the case with me and Alice but the rest held true. And sure, I'd been protective of her but never really possessive. I knew she wasn't mine to to think of it, I wasn't to excited about the date at all. It was more just the chance to be alone with my mate. I could care less personally what we do. Maybe I should throw Emmett a bone.

"Yes, we've only kissed. Two amazing mind blowing kisses, but nothing else. I'm definitely not disappointed."

Nahuel perked up at that, "Not disappointed? Are you saying you are satisfied with _kisses _for now? That you lack the pull to couple with your mate?"

"He clearly doesn't lack that," Edward laughing coming to sit on the log beside me. "Have you both forgotten so easily the emotions Jasper projected in the kitchen?"

"Oh yes," he answered with a smile. "I had meant to that you for that."

"Me too, me and Rose had the best sex we've had in months off that buzz." At Edwards' look Emmett smirked, "Like you didn't get freaky with Bells off it to? Just because you have the cottage doesn't mean people still don't hear brother. Alice was nearly a mile away she said." That's hilarious. Clearly Edward didn't think so if his embarrassment was anything to go by, but I sure as hell was getting a kick out of it.

"How are you resisting?" Nahuel was much too nice getting the attention off my mind reading brother. It was so rare we actually had one up on him, I like to see him sweat it out every now and then.

"It's difficult," I began, when what I really meant was I'm not. "Every single time I'm around her I just want to drag her off and be alone with her but I don't want to scare her away. She isn't like us and the imprinting instinct seems easier for her to resist than it is for others. That doesn't mean she doesn't want me though cause I fucking know she does. That's when my power gets out of control, when I feel her lust and mine. The emotions she throws off are so powerful to me. Pretty much everything she does is more powerful to, affects me more than anything anyone else has _ever _done. I've never had a kiss get me tenting my pants before, it's crazy." I raised my gaze from where it had been fixed on my shoes feeling a bit embarrassed. I really hadn't meant to say all of that but when I started I just couldn't stop.

"Everyone feels that way with their mate Jasper," Emmett said. It wasn't often he let this serious side of his personality show, but when he did he rivalled Esme with her comforting skills. "It's so intense because it is perfect, or as close as you can get. I've never been with another vampire but I remember what it was like when I was human and you just can't compare. You can't expect your relationship to go the same way as anything you've had before. You gotta have noticed none of us really had any of the preamble that you have with a normal relationship. That's cause mates can't do in-between, it is all or nothing," he finished while Edward and Nahuel nodded in agreement.

"It is true, I was with others of our kind before Alice and it was never like my emotion for her," Nahuel said slightly apologetically. I just gave him a small smile, he still felt guilty for his ties to Alive sometimes but the smile was always enough reassurance for him that I held no hard feelings.

"If that isn't enough to convince you Jazz just remember how it was for Eddie and Bells. For all his gentleman crap he never dated her, and yes Edward I know you took her to a _school dance _but that doesn't count, he just went straight to getting her knocked up!"

"Hey!" Edward called as I released the tension that had taken over my body and laughed at his expense for the second time since we had stopped. That was damn hilarious, mainly because it is true. After that ice breaker we talked for a little bit more, mainly them reassuring me I wasn't turning into a teenager who was gonna cream his pants at the first sight of a pretty girl. "As long as that girl aint Leah," Emmett added helpfully. Once the dark had fully settled around us Nahuel announced it was time for us to head back so the others didn't worry so we set off again, Edward in the lead and the rest of us tailing him. Dick always has to prove he's faster than everyone. We were just approaching the river behind our house when my phone went off. I stopped when I saw it was Leah intending to take the call out here in private. Emmett clearly doesn't understand that concept but thankfully my other brothers were able to explain it to him while herding off in the direction of the house. I was seriously gonna owe then for that and I had no doubt they'd collect.

"Evening Leah, I trust you've had a good day?" Jesus I was going for nonchalant, not Hi-I'm-you're-grandfather.

"Hey Jasper," she answered. "Yeah I've had a pretty okay day. I just wanted to let you know something before everyone else did."

"Alright go ahead then." This doesn't sound good._ Just keep hold of those positive thoughts Jasper, remember we are trying to not scare her away._

"Well okay but don't go all stalker vamp on me okay? I'm fine, everyone is fine nothing even really happened. I just wanted to tell you before you heard it second hand."

"I'll keep calm, but for future reference Sweetheart telling someone they need to remain calm before you tell them about your day isn't conducive to a calm situation."

"Yeah right," she managed to get out between her laughs. God I love her laugh. Almost enough to make me forget she is away to tell me something I most definitely don't want to hear. "Right here it is. Muscles, the leech that attacked me in my apartment was here. I was just on my way home after talking with Paul when I smelt him. Nothing happened he just yakked a bit then ran when the guys showed. He heading into the water and we lost him. So see nothing happened at all really." By the end of her rant she was slightly breathless. No wonder, she hadn't paused at all. My immediate reaction was to get angry, run to her, bring her to the house and demand she stay with me til I killed the bastard. I didn't think my Leah would really go for that idea and the fact that she had called me to tell me what was going on showed progress. Up til now it had been a case of one step forward, three steps back with us and I really didn't want to ruin it now. The idea of her being around me all the time wasn't one I was willing to let go of though.

"I think you should come and stay with me," I stated. When my statement was greeted by a rather lengthy silence I started to think maybe I should have worded that slightly better. Then Leah started laughing again and I was positive I should have worded it better. "Why are you laughing Leah? I am serious."

The laughter cut off abruptly after that. "How can you be serious? You want me to move in with you? With your family? We haven't even been on a date!"

"I really don't understand your fascination with dating. I want to go on dates with you Leah but it will never be the same as it is for the humans. Us ending up together is destiny, you and I both know it. Only difference is I am not fighting it like you are Sweetheart. I know I'm yours and I'm perfectly happy with that." I was getting off course and now really wasn't the time to get into this anyway despite the confidence the talk with the brothers had given me in my argument. "The point is I was serious. I want you to move into the house with me. You'll be safe there."

"I'm safe here Jasper," she asserted. She didn't sound too sure about it though. "Look just let me think about a solution. I can't abandon my pack here, and...and...lots of other reasons I'm not a hundred percent clear on right now."

"Okay Leah, calm down. Don't worry about the rest now, you wouldn't be abandoning anyone. You have to think of yourself sometimes or I'm gonna have a really hard time keeping you safe mate."

"Yeah, I told ya you weren't getting an easy ride of it."

"Wouldn't have it any other way Leah," I replied. "I take it you are at home now? With Seth?"

"And Jacob and Embry and Quil and Paul," she chuckled. "It's a regular sleep over we got going on." Her pack brothers I was fine with but this _Paul _was something else. This was the second time she'd mentioned him and I was more than slightly curious as to what the fuck he was doing around my mate. It was possible my growls of outrage carried down the phone if her laughter was any indication. "Jay is you jealous of my pack?"

"No not your pack," I snarled. "Who is Paul?" Her laughter only increased at my question. I was getting seriously pissed off now. Okay I knew he was a Shifter, but he was Sam's pack so why the hell was he involved? "I think I should come and stay at your house. I can keep watch were you're pack fall asleep."

"Dude," she said still sounding highly amused. "As much as I would loooooove it if you could come join us, there is no way on this earth Sue will let you in here at night."

"You're joking?"

"Nope 'fraid not. You are for all intents and purposes 'The Boyfriend' and Mommy Clearwater doesn't allow gentlemen callers after dark. If it makes you feel any better Jasper I'll be camped out in the living room with all the guys, under the watchful gaze of my brother so no chance of any funny business."

"That isn't even funny Leah."

"Come on, stop growling Jasper. It is only a joke," she answered finally sounding serious. "I'll be fine and I can promise my virtue will still be intact in the morning." Well there's something to think about. "I'll see you when I come over with the guys to do the Soul Animal stuff okay?" I agreed, wished her a goodnight and then she hung up before I could say anything else. Well that didn't go exactly as I would have liked. Not a disaster either though, she did agree to think about moving in. I was lost in my musing on how exactly this Paul had weaselled his way in with Leah while I walked the rest of the way to the house. When I got to the porch I sat down on the steps instead of heading inside. I knew Edward was reading my mind and so replayed the information I had on the visit by the unknown vampire. I would much rather avoid the resulting conversation if at all possible though. We didn't have any new information and this would only serve to increase tension and worry the family more. Especially Alice. A blinded Alice doesn't make a happy Alice and that means that the next hour or so will be pretty miserable for everyone.

* * *

"What's so funny?"

I looked up to see Embry standing in the doorway to my room, I just smiled, shook my head and stood up. Brushing past him I headed downstairs with him following closely behind. I headed straight for the kitchen where I could hear the dulcet tones of four teenage morons discussing the virtue of Sue's chicken pot pie. It was an amusing sight, seeing them all crammed around Sue's kitchen table all wolfing down tiny individual serves of the pie.

"You guys gonna move over so me and Leah can get in?" Embry asked leaning his chin on my shoulder. "I want some pie." They are a very obedient lot so they all moved and mad room. Not enough for me though unless I wanted to get up close and personal with Quil's armpit. Which I did not. I headed for the counter top instead, which was conveniently located next to the refrigerator. That's one solid point against moving in with the Cullen's, mom always has a fridge stocked to bursting levels.

"Gonna tell us what was so funny now?"

"Thanks Embry," I muttered. I brightened before I continued though. "Why not? Jasper was jealous, which I found highly amusing considering the pitiful excuses for men that are the basis for his jealousy."

"Who," Seth and Quil asked at the same time only to be hit over the head by Jake and Embry respectively. I just laughed.

"You guys, well not you Seth. I think Paul in particular." I laughed along with the rest of them at that. Paul looked ever so slightly insulted but Seth just elbowed him in the side then he joined in with the rest of us. "Imprints are crazy I swear. Don't know how you stand it Paul."

"It's not so bad once you actually get down and dirty with them." I can't believe he actually said that with a straight face. Jacob looked about ready to kill him. Now this was something I did miss about the old pack. The fights, when they didn't involve me, were always good to watch. We healed so quick fighting amongst ourselves, unless totally serious, was just like banging your head against a brick wall. Not all of us had worked that out though, hence my amusement. Before it could get past the heated stare stage Quil drew their attention by getting some more pie's out of the oven. I was interested in his statement though, I didn't want to seem to keen so I just hoped one of my guys would pick the conversation up again. When they had been speaking about the car Quil wanted to get for a total of 5 minutes I figured I'd just have to seem keen.

"So you've had sex with Rachel then?" All their little doggie ears perked up at that.

"Leah, come on. That's my sis-"

"Yes." Ha go Paul. He didn't even quiver at the look Jake was sending his way. Seriously impressive.

"I see," I said trying again not to seem overly eager to gain information. I'd much rather be talking to Rachel about this but I doubt she'd take it too well if I just showed up at her door. _Hey Rach, long time no see. So I hear you and Paul had sex? Want to give me the details, hold nothing back? Oh yeah ofcourse I mean about the effect to the imprint! _

"How was it?" Thank you Embry, apparently someone had decided to throw me a bone.

"Please guys, are we really gonna talk about this? My sister is right there," Seth whined, pointed at me just in case anyone in the room wasn't clear that I was his sister. Jacob was nodding franticly along with Seth, his face looking as red as Sam's does when I piss him off. Quil and Embry both looked interested though. Good.

"I think we should," I shrugged.

"Me too," Quil called almost jumping in his seat. Paul was just smiling at me. Pretty sure he knows exactly what I'm doing but hey! In for a penny, in for a pound or whatever they say.

Turning to Jacob and Seth Paul just smirked even harder. "If you kids are uncomfortable you could always go upstairs." Oh he is good. Nothing gets these guys more than treating them like kids, I should know. They both just looked at each other and squared their shoulders but I could hear Jake muttering about not much detail. "Right so what do you want to know?"

"How was it?" Stupid question Embry obviously it would be fantastic, it's his imprint for god's sake.

"Good. Amazing. You should try it." That bastard stared right at me when he said that. He definitely knows where I am going with this.

"Was she your first?" At Paul's nodded answer Jake looked a little more comfortable. That led nicely into my question.

"Were you her first?" They all turned to stare at me, Paul smirking and the rest just looking shocked. Not surprising I usually stayed out of their sex-chat.

"No I wasn't," Paul said smiling at me. Yes! This is good for me! Not good for Jake though who looked like he was away to have a stroke.

"W-Who else? When..."he screeched should suspiciously like puberty pup-Seth. I really shouldn't enjoy his discomfort so much, it can't be healthy.

"I don't know who dude and really I don't want to know," Paul snarled. "When she was at college though so I know it's no dick from around here."

"Weren't you nervous? You know about your inexperience."

"Obviously, but it doesn't really matter when you get down to it," he answered. By now I think Quil understood what was going on to, if the way he was staring at me was anything to go by. "Experience doesn't really matter if you, you know, _have feelings _for the person you are with. It's nothing to be ashamed of," he added looking straight at me. I know he has got to be uncomfortable with the emotions crap but come on, don't be so obviously or even these guys will work it out.

"How long after the imprint before you uh- you know?"

"Sex, Quil you can say it," Paul said as we all laughed. Mine was a bit sharp though, this was another one I really wanted to know. Maybe I was just being a big whore worrying about all this stuff so soon. Or maybe it was due to the fact my imprint was a hot as hell vampire who could make me forget my own name when he kissed me. I was willing to consider both possibilities.

Paul had that annoying smirk on his face again and was looking dead at me. Idiot. "Three days after I told her about it." Jacob groaned, Quil and Embry looked impressed and Seth's head was spinning almost off his shoulders as it flicked back from me and Paul.

"Lee don't you listen to him," he cried standing up. Guess he figured it out.

"Seth?"

"He's talking to Leah about sex Jake! Sex!"

"Yes Seth," Jacob replied slowly. "Sadly he is talking to us all about sex. What's the deal?"

"No, he is just talking to Leah! She is going to have sex! And he," he shouted shaking his finger at Paul, "is telling her to do it!" Thank god Sue wasn't in or I'm pretty sure I would have had a little mother-daughter chat coming my way. While I thanked my lucky stars for that fact Seth and Jacob were both just staring at me while Quil filled Embry in on how he'd worked it out. I think he wanted a medal.

"Will you guys chill the fuck out? She is twenty years old for crying out loud," Paul muttered to the other guys at the table. Before I could get a word both Seth and Jacob were calling out reasons why I should not, and would not be having sex.

"Hey! If I want to have sex, I'll have sex. Got it?" I asked glaring at them. "That doesn't mean I am going to do it tomorrow, or anytime soon. You guys just have no say."

"Pfft."

"Yes Paul, you have something to add?"

"You're having sex maybe not tomorrow but definitely soon," he said earning himself twin glares. "All the imprint couples go at it quick. Jared and Kim only lasted a day. You're already beating me and him." Yup, that's me blushing. Okay so not imagining it then. I wish I was better prepared for this. The only real boyfriend I ever had was General Useless and that didn't go past the heavy petting stage. With clothes on thank you very much. I'm not a prude of anything, don't get me wrong. I just never really got round to it and then the whole wolf thing happened and it was the last thing on my mind. I think that's pretty much what happened to Embry to, cause come on what other hot-ish 18year old guy would happily not be out looking to get laid.

While I'd been musing on the lack of sexual conquests by us wolves the guys had happily changed the subject to less risqué topics. I just sat smiling and swinging my legs, who would ever have thought I'd have a sex talk with Paul? Things around here certainly never boring.


	15. Rinse and Repeat, Rinse and

**I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended. All characters belong to S. Meyer**

If for some reason I'm ever asked to write a list of the things I dislike most about being a werewolf sweat would be number one on my list. And number two. Probably number three as well. I'm not an idiot, so I realise that I sweat but I sweat a reasonable amount. The same cannot be said for the overgrown children I am forced to associate with on a daily basis. Last night after much conversation and general tom foolery, me, the other members of my pack and Paul all went to sleep in my living room. It is not a massive room, but neither is it tiny. We all had our own little space, me with the sofa of course, but somehow during the night we all ended up in a lump in the middle of the floor. That would be fine, if it didn't mean I woke up floating in a river of sweat.

"EWWWWWWWWWW," I screamed. Hopefully loud enough to wake them all up. Lucky for them it worked.

"Lee, what the hell? Go back to sleep," Seth muttered from my left. I think not little brother.

"How can I? With the disgusting amount of sweat you all are giving off! We live in La Push not the bloody Tropics, what is wrong with you?" Reaching my arms over my head I grabbed an abandoned tent masquerading as a t-shirt. After running it over both my arms mopping up the disgusting liquid I threw it right into the middle of the human pile.

"We are growing men Leah," Jacob stated, "of course we sweat"

"Plus we are as hot as an oven Leah," Embry added as he stood up, clearly heading for the kitchen. No way was that happening.

"So am I idiot and I don't leek a river while I sleep. Hey, stop Embry," I called moving to stand in the doorway leading to the kitchen. "Okay, _men. _None of you are getting into this kitchen until you shower, you're a health hazard and I refuse to have you around my food." The resulting protestations were rather amusing but clearly they did have some brains as none of them even tried to pass me. They know I could kick their asses. Ha, Super Woman eat your heart out.

"Forget it guys," Alpha Jake finally said. "We've got that meditation, yoga blah blah thing going on in like an hour anyway. Let's just get showered and head on over."

"Yes! Esme's cooking beats Leah's any day," Seth sang cheerily as he headed up the stairs. Hopefully to start the bathing process.

"Like I was gonna cook for you anyway." People are so ungrateful these days. Turning to Paul who was still lying on the floor I held out my hand. "You coming?"

"I'm allowed?" Clearly things were worse than we thought in Sam's pack if even Paul didn't think he would get to come to stuff like this. Sharing a look with my pack I could see they agreed.

"Course you are," I said as I hauled him up. "Holy crap, what the hell do you weigh?" Before he could answer Jake cut in telling him he had to be nice to the Cullens if he came with us. It turned into a bit of a lecture, Jacob seemed to get some perverse enjoyment out of giving them. Although it would seem obvious to almost anyone, with this crowd it was a good call to put it out there. After he agreed I decided to leave them to fight over the main bathroom and headed up to use Sue's on suite. Sadly that meant having to sneak past the lady herself who, not surprisingly had been awoken by the noise downstairs. She was just coming out of her bathroom when I stuck my head round her door.

"Morning mom, mind if I use your bathroom? The guys all need to shower," I said stepping into the room and shutting the door.

"Just don't leave any dirty towels lying around," she answered with a smile. As I moved to the bathroom she grabbed my arm and turned me to face her. "Good luck today. An-"

"And be careful," I chorused with her smiling. She just slapped my arm and pushed me towards the bathroom. It was good to see her happy. My thoughts were focused on what we were going to be doing today through my shower. I didn't see any need to rush considering I had to wait of the guys all getting showered and ready. And there was no chance Sue would let any of them use her shower. Boys are even more messy than Leahs. I wasn't surprised then that all the guys were sitting freshly showered, thank god, by the time I got downstairs. Paul was looking a little odd in Quil's clothes. All the members of our little pack kept clothes at each other's houses but Paul was broader than all of the guys so he'd had to settle with Quil's as he is the biggest out of the guys. The cut-off jeans looked fine but the black t-shirt was another story. It looked grey it was stretched to tight across his chest. Being the lovely person that I am I helpfully pointed that out.

"It's all muscle baby," he answered striking a pose. "No need not to show it off." Yep, still an idiot. "I'll be taking it off in a minute to run anyway."

"Na," Jake said, heading to the front door. "I think we should drive. Who knows what state me, Lee and Em will be in after our Soul Animal thing. Best have an easy way home."

"Shot gun!" All the guys turned to scowl at me. No way was I getting all gross again crammed in a backseat with them. It was gonna be a tight fit to, seen as how there is six of us instead of the usual five. I voiced this concern and it was agreed that we'd need two cars. Jake would take Paul (so he could stop in and see Rachel) and Quil (so he could stop in and see Claire) down to his house and get the rabbit. Seth, Embry and I were taking Sue's truck seen as how she was just heading over to old Quil's to sort out tribal stuff for the day. I missed my old car. I sold it off while I was away to pay for the first month's rent on my apartment and this was the first opportunity I'd had since then to need it. "You wanna drive?" It was about time someone started letting Seth drive, he knew how but being the youngest of us meant he never got to.

"You'll really let me?"

"Sure," I answered jumping into the passenger seat. "You might be driving us home so I'd rather know now if you're likely to kill us while doing it."

"Way to give him confidence Leah," Embry laughed from the back seat. I just laughed and went to looking out of my window. I was silent for most of the drive while Embry commented ever so helpfully on my brothers driving skills. The imprinting itch was hitting me hard today. I hadn't seen Jasper at all yesterday and it had been quite early the night before when he dropped me off home. Seriously it was ridiculous how much I was like a dog on a leash. Wonder if it works both ways. I know he misses me, if his jealous freak out was much to go by, but I can't work out if it is a compulsion like it is for us wolves. Before I had enough time to fully sink into that issue and wallow in the itch we were pulling onto the forest road that led to the vamp mansion.

"You ready for this Leah?"Bit late if I'm not Mr Call.

"Sure, piece of pie," I answered turning in my seat to smile at him in the back. "If anything I'm excited."

"Me too, can't wait to see if it actually works. Being able to talk to the wolf will be amazing," he answered moving his legs down so he was no longer lying across the whole of the seat but sitting like a civilised person. Even though he clearly isn't one of those.

"We're here," Seth called at an alarming volume. That boy is always shouting these days, he does nothing quiet. "And in one piece thank you very much."

"Well done Sethy," I called as I jumped out of the truck, spotting the Rabbit parked outside of the Cullen's massive garage. Jake clearly wasn't too careful with the speed if they got here before us. The guys followed, quickly getting ahead of me and barging in the door. Seriously, top of the to-do list is to teach these idiots some manners. I was just about to make my much more dignified entrance and then proceed to chew them out when Jasper stepped outta the house, shutting the door behind him.

"Morning," he drawled in the super sexy voice. Jesus, even my thoughts about his voice are getting out of hand. He was looking awful good today though so at least I had an excuse. His clothes were nothing unusual, tight, _tight _jeans paired with an equally tight jumper on top, but his hair was still wet as if he'd just come from the shower and boy it made all the difference. He looked so much more relaxed, more human and I didn't mean that in a bad way at all.

"Hey. Morning," I said nodding along like an idiot. "Good night?"

"Not really. It was too long not seeing you," Jasper answered. Thank god he was being frank! Made me feel a lot better about my puppy-likeness. He started walking towards me too, as if like the time we were away from each other the distance between us was unacceptable too. He wasn't wrong. See as how we were both on the porch, and it wasn't a large one, we ended up damn close to each other. I couldn't smell anything but him, couldn't think anything but him so decided to just take the plunge and kiss him. He didn't respond at first, so it was just me pushing my lips kinda hard against his for a few seconds then he sprung to life, pushing back twice as hard. Deciding that I wasn't in the mood for a long drawn out thing I opened my mouth and pushed my tongue against his lips which, thank god!, he opened right away. The other times we had kissed he had been in charge, it'd be him in my mouth, him doing the exploring and I wanted to turn the tables on him a bit. Running my tongue along his I moved my hands up and pushed them both deep into his hair while both of his arms came around my waist pressing me tight against him. His taste was on my tongue as he pushed it back into my mouth, following it with his own and I'm pretty positive even though I'll deny it that some pretty serious moans were coming from me. As we circled each other in my mouth, I started tugging on his hair which got him giving off some mean moans too. I had never experienced anything like this, this total takeover of my senses. All I could smell was him, all I could taste was him and all I could feel was his hair in my hands and his hands rubbing against the small of my back. An almost perfect kiss.

I say almost perfect as just as we were both getting really into it Edward, evil, evil Edward opened the front door and started talking. No idea what he was saying, but Jasper apparently did and whatever it was caused him to stop.

Leaning his forehead against mine he let out a growl. Growls are sexy I have decided. "Edward could you please give us a minute? Please," Jasper asked sounding just as annoyed as I felt. Seemed like we never got any time alone and whenever we did either his family or my pack were in hearing and even more sadly, speaking distance.

"I'm sorry Jasper, Leah but everyone is getting restless," Edward answered. "They want to begin immediately," he finished before heading back inside leaving the door wide open. Tilting my head to the side so I could see in I saw pairs and pairs of eyes staring out at us.

"Jasper we have an audience," I muttered before pulling away from him. "Seriously, I'll kick your ass Quil," I shouted hearing him snigger something that included the words 'Leah', 'sex', 'rough' and 'heat'. That was enough to piss me off.

"No way I can talk you out of this?" No way at all "Okay, was worth a try. Let's head in love," Jasper said as he grasped my hand and let me into the Cullen house. I decided to ignore the use of love considering the amount of people around. When all of us get together it's worse than a bonfire, at least there everyone doesn't talk. Here everyone wants to have their say and usually won't shut up until it's heard. More than a little annoying and ninety percent of the time I leave with a headache.

"Morning Leah," Esme called as she entered the sitting room from the kitchen. She was carrying a plate of eggs and sausage and being the goddess of a woman that she is, brought it straight over to me. Seriously maybe I could give up Sue's fridge if it meant getting to eat Momma Vamp's cooking, it was one of the few things the guys and I agreed completely on.

"Thanks," I smiled back at her which seemed to make her even more happy than usual. Letting Jasper lead me over to the only seat left, which was sadly on the couch next to Emmett, I plopped down and started in on my food. Most of the time I can eat like a normal person, opposed to a hot as hell werewolf, but breakfast is my weakness. After a long night of not feeding my stomach I'm just as bad as the guys and devote my full attention to eating enough to feed a small family. Well usually that is the case, today not so much. See Jasper had decided to sit himself between my legs and was running his finger round and round on my left ankle. It was nice, better than nice really but also very distracting. I was eating but wasn't really registering any taste and it felt like all my attention, all my nerve endings had suddenly been focused on my ankle.

"Having fun there Leah?" Paul asked from the other side of the vampire mountain between us.

"Shut up," was my only response as both Paul and Emmett broke into giggles. Girly giggles. Jasper had clearly registered what they had said and squeezed my ankle in what I took to be reassurance. It really just made matters worse though. Deciding that it was just something I was gonna have to get used to I soldiered on with my breakfast and was rather glad when it was actually finished. Looking around I saw that the guys were all finished to and Esme was whizzing round to gather up our plates. "Would you like some help?" It's always polite to ask after all.

"Oh no dear, I'm sure they'll want to get started with you right away. Just you let me do it," she smiled as she took my empty plate.

"Getting started would be a good idea," Jacob said from where he was sitting with Bella and Nessie. "What exactly is the plan? We don't really know how to meditate," he told Nahuel and Carlisle.

"As I said before it is quite simple. You, Miss Clearwater and Mr Call must simply relax, clear your minds of all but the desire to commune with your Soul Animal," Nahuel explained. He suddenly seemed to get a bit passionate, "You must focus, must truly desire the opportunity to experience your Soul Animal. It is simple as I have said, but you must be sincere and pure in your intent or nothing can help you. Do not expect it to happen in five minutes, meditation takes time."

"Yes that is an important point," Carlisle nodded. "This may be a long process, several hours at least and you can not waver in your focus or you will have to start again." The Doc looked each of us in the eye waiting to see if we understood before nodding his head. "Myself, Nahuel and Rosalie will be here to monitor you should anything unexpected happen but that is merely a precaution."

"Why Blondie? You and Nahuel I get," Embry asked. Glad he did cause I was a bit stumped on that one myself.

"I have medical training," Barbie vamp answered. She was leaning against the stairs and it was the first time I'd noticed her since me and Jasper had come in. "More up to date training than Carlisle in fact," she declared.

"Lovely. Okay then, we are all set. Where are we doing this?" I asked. "Outside would be best I think, just in case we blow and it won't be as cramped as we are in here."

"Yes I agree," both Carlisle and Nahuel answered at the same time. "Being close to nature, to your land would also be of assistance," Nahuel finished.

"Is everyone coming?" I didn't really like the idea of all these people staring at me while I'm off in some trance.

"Yeah, erm no offense but won't it be a bit of a distraction having everyone around? I think we should limit it," Jacob said.

"If you would like," Carlisle answered.

"Yeah. So the pack can all come and Paul you to dude," Jacob responded rising from his seat. "Doc C. And Dr. Blondie and Nahuel of course. Anyone else really wanna come?"

"I would like to be there," Edward answered. Oh no no no no no! I do not think so, this is private! "Leah please I do not wish to upset you I just think it would be best if someone knew what exactly was happening to the three of you."

"I think it a good idea," Jasper added and I glared down at his head.

"I'm not really comfortable with that Ed dude," Embry spoke, "and clearly Lee isn't either. This isn't something you should see."

"I agree, sorry Edward but no," Jacob declared in his don't-mess-with-me Alpha voice. "I don't think Nessie should be there either so maybe you could take her home with you." Jacob was fully standing now, along with Embry, Carlisle, Nahuel, Paul, Rosalie and Jasper.

"Where exactly do you think you're going?" If he thought he could just come without asking then he had another thing coming. Not sure I feel too comfortable with him _feeling _what I'm gonna be feeling either.

"I'm coming Leah, no arguments. Jacob?" Jacob the big traitor nodded at him. "See no one else has a problem with it," he smirked at me, holding out a hand to help me up. Deciding that it wasn't worth the argument I grabbed the hand and stood up.

"No interference though Jazz," Jake ordered as he made his way out the door. I trotted on after him still holding Jaspers hand and feeling more than a little excited. It felt good to be doing something, even if it didn't work at least we had tried. And if it did work, god it would help us understand ourselves so much better. Not just me but the guys too.

"You're so excited," Jasper mumbled right in my ear, so close I could feel his breath on my skin. It was cold but nice and still sent goose bumps all around my body. "Now you're a little more than excited," he laughed.

"I'm gonna ignore that last bit. It is exciting though. I just hope it works," I finished before reaching up, giving him a caste peck on the check and then walking away from him and towards where Embry and Jacob had stopped. "Here then?" We were just as the start of the woods, only a few meters in and could still see the Cullen house from our position.

"Yeah with the leech kicking around we don't want to go far," Jacob answered before looking around as if waiting for some sign. "What do we do now?"

"Let's sit," Embry suggested as he flopped down to the floor. Snorting at his lack of grace or anything remotely similar I sat down just as Jake did the same. "Do you think we should be so close to each other?"

"Don't think it'll matter to be honest. I'd rather be with you guys than off on my own," I answered honestly. They both nodded at that. "Right let's get to it then. Think gym class, right before they make you do the crazy dancing when you pretend nobody can see you." That got sniggers from them both and I was glad to see they looked a little less tense. "Eyes closed, deep breathe in, deep breathe in, rinse and repeat." I closed my eyes as I was staying it and rocked my ass from side to side trying to get nice and comfy.

"Member and focus," Jake declared and that was the last thing anyone said.

Meditation was something that I'd never thought of doing before but one I started calming myself down, clearing my mind and focusing on just my wolf it seemed fantastic. Not so fantastic that it only took minutes but still fantastic. For the longest time I was just breathing, hearing Jake and Embry breathing and wondering what the hell we were doing. It takes a lot for me to let go of my self-consciousness and this was no exception. I'd be focusing on my wolf, what it felt like when I was without Jasper and could feel it so close to the surface and then the thought of what an idiot I must look like would creep in and I'd have to start the process all over again. The last time though I was focusing and focusing and focusing and nothing was getting in the way. There wasn't anything to even think about, there was nothing but me and the wolf. I just kept the desire to talk with it or even just to _see _it in head and then all of a sudden it was all I could think about. The idea, or suggestion might be better of their being two of us inside my head just slipped away. I knew it was different from the other times when I'd had to start over, knew something had happened and I wasn't just sitting on the grass anymore. Before I'd been conscious of this rock that was digging into my right thigh and the fact that the ground was hard and wet but now it felt totally different, like sand. The air was warmer too, more dry and it felt like the sun was shining on my face.

"Welcome daughter," a woman's voice spoke. "Open your eyes." The thought had crossed my mind but I hadn't wanted to do it and find out I was imagining it all. The voice made me pretty certain I wasn't so I decided to just open them and see.

I was right, the ground was sand and the sun was shining on my face. A woman who was definitely of the tribe and who looked to be about Sue's age was sitting cross legged in front of me, mirroring my position. We looked to be on first beach but it was a much nicer day than I had ever seen there in my life.

"I have waited long for you," the woman spoke again drawing my attention back to her. "We had begun to think you would never come."

"I'm sorry," I said because I couldn't think of anything else to say and the woman just laughed and smiled back at me. "Are you my wolf?" Smooth Leah, way to just blurt it out.

"Yes you could say that," she answered. "You know the legends of our people?," she asked and I nodded that yes, I did know. "The legends are not of human souls but of the souls of our Spirit Animals, our wolves. The men of your pack, they have the souls of the great warriors in them, the original warriors of our tribe that are born again and again until they find those worthy of them. They will each meet with their warrior and hear the tales of who they are, what they have done and what they are yet destined to do. They will be shown the many lives that they had lead before and to some will be shown the many lives they are yet to lead."

"Only some?"

"Yes, only some. For many this is the last journey, the time in which to fulfil the great destiny," she answered with another smile.

"Am I not the same? Won't I hear the stories or see what has been?" I asked with a sinking feeling. It was beginning to seem like I was a mistake.

"There are no stories of what has been for you daughter. Did I not say I had waited long for you? You are the first," she said with passion in her voice. I just stared at her confused. "You have heard the tale of the Third Wife? My soul was hers. After her brave sacrifice the Mother rewarded her by making her a Protector of our people, giving her a warrior soul at the moment of her death."

"You mean she began a shifter? The Third Wife was a shifter," I stated as if saying it would help be understand. It wasn't a question of believing, I knew that whatever I was told here would be the truth but that didn't help me digest it.

"Yes, she had proved herself a Protector of the people and was so rewarded. The story is the story of her sacrifice, of the creation of the one female wolf of our tribe. Like the souls of her son's and brother's and father's and uncle's and cousin's, her soul lived on becoming the wolf. Unlike the others she could never come to the people when the warriors were needed, could never join the others and thus the destiny could never be fulfilled. There was never a girl nor a woman strong enough to become a Protector, to house her soul and have the strength of her people. Not until you Leah, not until you could the wolf once again come to the people."

"Okay, okay this is just a lot to take on.... You said that the guys, their wolves were born again and again until they find those worthy of them. Does that mean that they only come once, that you will only be with me and that's it?"

"It is true I will only ever be with you daughter but do not think that will be a short life. The others have lived many times and some shall live again until they find their match but others have found it with your generation. They will live the long life with you, with their mates and ours," she finished putting extra emphasis on ours.

"What do you mean by not short? And ours? I'm guessing you mean Jasper," I questioned rapid fire. For every answer more and more questions were coming.

"Ah I had not dared to hope you would be so passionate," the woman, the Third Wife I guess, laughed. She seemed to really be enjoying this and if she had been waiting as long as I thought she had for it then the least I could do was entertain her a little. "You shall live with your mate daughter. How long shall he live?"

"Forever," I answered without thinking and then it dawned on me exactly what I'd just said and what that meant. Holy crap! "No that can't be right," I said shaking my head.

"Nothing is forever but you shall live to see the endings and beginnings of many things. Do not despair for you shall not be alone," she said reaching for my hand and holding it in both of hers. I'd been afraid to reach out and touch her before, afraid that she would fade away and reality would take over again but no it just felt normal. She had workers hands, big and strong and callused from a life of use. "Many of your brothers shall be with you. That is the destiny of the wolves."

"What destiny? You keep saying that."

"It was told long ago that when all the souls returned to the Protectors once again that many would stay, never to return. They would change many things, fighting against our enemy to keep the tribe and the Mother safe." I sat waiting for her to say more but she didn't, seems that was all I was going to get on the destiny business.

"What about Jasper? This ours stuff," I asked shaking my head to try and force my thoughts into some kind of order.

"You know the imprint is felt by both wolf and Protector, this you have felt." Pretty sure that's disapproval coming through there. " With your vampire the wolf has a connection, a different connection than you. The Protector connects with the man, the human soul that is still there in your vampire though not in them all. The wolf connects with the beast, the animal that is the vampire inside the human. Their bond is no less important than the bond between Leah and Jasper. It must not be ignored," she ordered and I felt worse than I have since I got my lecture from Sue about leaving.

"Right so what happens now?"

"You must unite those who will stay," she answered simply.

"You mean the wolves that will life a long time like me? Okay well I guess Jake but that is the only one I can think of," I confessed. I made sense with Jake seen as how he had a vamp, or half vamp imprint.

"There are seven," I was told. "You must bring them together as none will survive without the pack." Oh crap how the hell am I supposed to work that out? It wasn't until I heard the woman laugh softly again and squeeze my hand that I realised I'd said it out loud. "You will have help and they will come to you. Each Protector must undertake this journey themselves and those who will stay will come to you. You must remember daughter that you are the mother of the pack, the one they will look to for support and guidance, the Alpha female. You must act with respect to your position and your pack," she finished.

"I-I-I just don't know what to say to that," I finished lamely.

"It will come," she replied. "There is only one thing I can tell you and I hope you hear for the sake of both souls. Accept your mate, do not fight it. To fight it means death, for you and for your vampire. Your love is destined." And with that everything started to fade away. At first I thought it was just my vision blurry because of the tears I hadn't been able to catch before the escaped but it wasn't. Everything was getting further and further away and I realised nobody had been holding my hand since the last word the woman had spoke.


End file.
